I talked a few weeks ago about how whenever global energies get a bit chaotic, that I get a huge increase in the amount of trolls sending me emails (you can read about this, and a breakdown of how my reaction has changed over the years, here)

But basically it is to be expected, as people who cannot deal with their emotions tend to push them outwards, as they lack the capacity to take any sort of personal responsibility for themselves and have not developed adult-level coping skills (I could talk about how few of us have really gone through the initiation of becoming an “adult”, but that is perhaps a separate blog). We can always find a target for our anger, fear, and pain… and because I am somewhat in the public eye (well, have written a book or two and have a blog that has a “contact me” form meant for people to sign up for classes and such) that means that I am a convenient target.

I don’t get upset at these trolls much, but in general they can make me a bit tired, and occasionally sad. Not for the individual who contacts me to tell me how horrible I am, or tries to control me or what I say, or even for those who believe that they are so enlightened/full of kundalini/shaman etc because they really need to believe such things… but that they exemplify the sort of sleep and delusion that many exemplify, and how spirituality as a whole can and is utilized to facilitate and placate (rather than solve or heal) fear, sleep, and delusion.


In my book, The Spiritual Awakening Guide, I talk about the state that many of us are in: I refer to it as the “sleeper” state. It is a state in which we believe what we are taught without questioning, and are the accumulation of the energies and history of our parents and ancestry, our past lives, our culture, and of the world in the time that we were born (as well as other energies and our personal history).

In this state we do not critically think, and we are in a state in which we lack any sort of capacity to recognize how we have been influenced and formed by our personal history (let alone the ancestral influences, family, and so forth that I described).

While in this state of sleep, we lack the capacity to look inward, to see how our traumas have created beliefs, to recognize that what we see of others in the world is a reflection of our own sleep (and the sleep of others), and we are in a state of blind chaos and reaction.

I am all for experiencing emotions, for truly feeling them, but someone in a state of sleep will react emotionally and formulate their idea of reality based on personal wounds and emotions.

We like to think of ourselves as logical creatures, but we are not. We are emotional creatures, and invest a lot of time and energy into the swirling chaos around us.

The awakening process is the ability to extricate oneself from this chaos, and from that the ability to see things from a perspective not based in unacknowledged trauma and emotion emerges.

One of the hardest things for people who are in a state of sleep or who are in their first steps of awakening is to recognize and really being willing to acknowledge a few things.

The first is that we do not have the control over our lives that we delude ourselves into believing that we have. 

We continually have input and our lives shaped by outer forces, and they have a profound impact on us and our daily lives. Any time that we wake up to the realization that we are not in control, we become deeply afraid.

And then many of us lash out in anger, and find a “safe” target for our anger (a la internet trolling) because anger is an expressive emotion, while fear is an emotion that causes us to freeze (an introverted emotion, if you will).

If we are totally asleep, we will not be able to acknowledge why we are lashing out. If we are in stages of awakening, we will be able to understand that we are lashing out because there are a lot of chaotic world energies having an impact on us.


If we are even more awake, we can recognize that chaotic world energies play into our own fears.

So, I am not telling people not to be afraid, but there must be a bit of understanding of the fact that at the base of our being, humans all have similar fears:

  • fear of being out of control
  • fear of death
  • fear of the unknown
  • fear of being separate
  • fear of change

All of these can either be summed up as “fear of death” or “fear of being out of control”,  or even perhaps “fear of life” but it can be helpful to see those fears plainly laid out. As you can likely see, much of mainstream spirituality is to comfort people about these fears– to make the unknown known, to assert dominion and control, to suggest immortality or health could be achieved if only someone were “spiritual” enough, to suggest that someone can control every facet of their lives if only they were “spiritual” enough.

Ironically, what happens in the awakening process is that you surrender these ideas again and again. The spiritual awakening process as a whole is really a discovery of these fears, an acknowledgement of the restrictive traumas and beliefs and fears and a surrender of them.

I do very much believe in some aspects of free will, but I more believe that if someone surrenders, and gets out of their own way, that things will go much better in their lives. Our tiny human brains can only fathom so much, and if we try to control or pretend we know everything about the cosmos, or direct our lives based off of our mental and emotional logic, we often will dream of lesser things for ourselves than the divine/spirit can.

I have seen time and again that the more someone is willing to heal those beliefs and constricting energies that are created from personal (ancestral, past life, etc) traumas, that their lives go much better.


What is rarely talked about is how our fears are used against us.

It is incredibly well known to studied magical and spiritual practitioners (as well as NLP enthusiasts, in a somewhat different capacity) that we are emotional creatures. If we link a thought or saying to a base fear (one of those I listed above), it doesn’t matter if what we are saying is logical, has truth, or is right.

We will react.

We will react chaotically, we will recall every time we have been full of fear, every time we have felt out of control. We will react blindly and without thought based off of someone using these baseline fears against us.

We all have a cyclone of chaos around us. Unexamined, we believe we are who we are, and what the world is, based off of that cyclone. We identify with that cyclone. Not only that, but we perpetuate that cyclone. We are used to a certain level of chaos and drama in our lives, and if we are not experiencing it (and we are still asleep) we will actually create chaos to maintain the same cyclone.

When spiritual masters talk about not identifying with emotions, that has been thought of that you no longer experience them, or like you become some sort of zombie-like new-ager with their head stuck in the sand, with no capacity to talk about or consider anything “dark”.

But what actually happens is that you stop identifying with this cyclone. You start to step away from this cyclone, and recognize the unhealed parts of you that have created this cyclone. You work your way through the emotions, traumas, and layers of this cyclone.

Some of this cyclone will still be there, but as you awaken, what happens is that you no longer blindly identify with it. Healing the baseline fears means that you no longer can be manipulated by others, who use those fears knowingly against you.

As a side note, as part of my occult training I learned how to “push” thoughts. It is incredibly easy to do so, and relies on this connection to emotions and this cyclone to do so (I don’t teach this, so don’t ask). You can get people to think what you want, and to not even recognize that it is coming from you, as most people are so lost in the chaos and mental chatter and personal cyclone-ing to recognize not only that these thoughts don’t come from them, but that on a larger scale, they may be assimilating those thoughts without recognizing that they are fueled by emotion, and not a personally held, logical understanding of anything.

I am not alone in knowing how to do this, and it is interesting to even have a cursory understanding of NLP, how advertisers operate (and you don’t even need to have magical training on how to utilize thoughtforms, but that can be quite interesting as well) to understand how words can be linked to these baseline fears and we will take them on without any sort of conscious realization about what we have just done.


When we talk about what is happening in the world today, it is important to understand that I am not suggesting that you not get angry, that you are not afraid, that you do not contribute to the world, riot, react, or do what you deem is right. I often suggest locally volunteering, as being of service can help people who are in the stages of being aware of world energies and other energies “controlling” (or at the very least shaping) them, but feel helpless because they are too massive for one person to really do too much about… as well as obviously will assist to make this world a better place overall.

What I am really saying here is to recognize these fears, to understand how others may use fears like this to sway your beliefs and “truths”, and to take a step back from that cyclone. Work on your own issues (as well as do outer work that you deem appropriate), work on your personal cyclone, until you can realize some measure of clarity.

Because an interesting thing happens when you do start awakening. As you let go of this cyclone it is easy to completely separate– to become a hermit, to separate yourself from the world, to see others creating chaos for themselves again and again (and wanting to drag you in to said chaos)– and to realize a sort of insignificance about what happens in the physical world.

Your own issues, as well as the issues of others, begin to seem rather insignificant and temporary.

But we are physical beings, living in physical containers and in a physical world. We awaken through our bodies, through taking personal responsibility for ourselves, and by being willing to heal, to let go of what ties us, to surrender again and again beyond the ego-based mind that wants the chaos, wants the commotion, wants the fear.

And what ironically also happens when you awaken, as things begin to become expanded and insignificant and separated, is that you feel a lot of love and compassion and sort of primal urgency to be with people you care about, to love the physical world and your physical body, and to deeply root in this world (and to move beyond the traumas making you not want to be here).

It is by working through our own baseline fears, by recognizing the energies that surround us and inform us, that we can expand beyond blind reaction and to act, and live, from a place of stillness (even in the midst of personal or collective chaos), and to make our decisions from that place.

I do realize that things are tough out there right now, but realize that inner as well as outer action truly changes the world. We can accomplish so much as individuals, and as a collective, if we are willing to move beyond our chaos and to see what needs to be done, on a personal level, to make this world a place of thoughtful individuals willing and able to see and act from beyond the cyclone, from beyond the baseline fears, and from a place of clarity and compassion.