I have now been a spiritual healer for over a decade professionally (and an energy worker for much longer than that). This has given me a chance to reflect on my personal path as well as the many clients and students that I have worked with over the years.
One of the most interesting understandings that has emerged has been around the subjects of control and resistance. Although this is true in many ways for the entirety of our existences, I am going to focus this (understandably) on the subject of resistance and the spiritual path, and spiritual healing in general.
I have found that people who in general are most in need of my help are often the most resistant. And before we logically assume that this is resistance to me as a person (which can happen, and I am not including this as part of my thoughts here) this often is a personal resistance to healing and progressing on their path.
As much as we outwardly maintain that we would like to progress, to move forward in our lives, there is a comfort in the known. There is a comfort in exactly where we are. Although we may purchase the books, talk about our spiritual path and take an active interest in it, and take the classes, many of us stay exactly who we were before these efforts, or only take very small steps forward.
There was a time in my life as a clinician that I thought that if I just became excellent at technique, becoming the best energy worker and bodyworker and acupuncturist and spiritual worker (etc) that I could heal anything and anyone. I frustratingly found that that was not true. I then thought that if I just attained enough spiritual power, both personally and externally, that I could heal anything and anyone. When that happened I also frustratingly found that it was not true. It certainly helps to have excellent techniques, hand skills, anatomical and energetic knowledge, varying degrees, and have worked for a long time at personal/spiritual power, but that doesn’t help in some cases.
Why is that? Well, there are some logical reasons here (I am not the right person for my client- although this doesn’t happen much these days as I do divination to see if I will even accept a client before hand; they are at the point of needing something invasive like surgery; they need a modality that I do not provide, they may need a different personality than my own such as a male provider) but the largest reason is resistance or readiness to only heal so much.
This is the reason why on one day I may see two clients and one of them has an amazing session where she reports her neck pain, back pain, stomach upset and low-grade depression gone after one session, and the other reports no change. There is a reason why one person via a 60 minute Skype call can attain massive healing for her entire ancestral line, the lifting of a curse, and a huge change in how she experiences her physical body in one session and the other with a former human attached to them (something easy to clear and work with in my world) reports that they didn’t leave after.
And while this, at first glance, can sound like client blaming of sorts, it is not. All of us have unhealed wounds, trauma, physical/emotional/energetic and spiritual issues that could use work. Some of us are in worse shape than others, but I have never met someone who is entirely whole. So, basically, we all have stuff to work on. And it is our choice if we decide to do so or not.
Of course, there are other considerations here (and I know these will be brought up). If someone has stage 4 cancer or is struggling with Fibromyalgia to the extent that they cannot get out of bed, it is difficult to have the energy or ability to work on oneself and take steps forward. When someone is struggling with depression they may be in the abyss to such an extent that they feel that nobody likes them and that nobody will want to help them. In those extremes, it is enough effort just to get through the day intact… to survive a day or a moment.
But for the rest of us, those of us not holding on by our fingernails to the side of a mountain, we can recognize and work with our resistance.
- What would happen if we were entirely open to life?
- What would happen if we did not so narrowly define ourselves, who we are and what we are capable of in this world?
- What would happen if we were to open our thinking to the extent that we could intake other information that is foreign or opposite of what we currently think without vilification, gossip, anger, emotion, or other means of attempting to ignore it or shut it down?
- What would happen if we didn’t think so poorly about ourselves, our physical bodies, and our health?
- What if we knew that our bodies are capable of self-healing and of healing even the most difficult physical, emotional, and spiritual patterns?
- What if we knew the last sentence, and what would happen if we allowed it to happen quickly?
- What if we were to rise above the memes, the thoughts of others, the meaningless repetition of words and sayings that we have been given by others, or we have handed to ourselves?
The biggest resistance that we have is our minds. We only allow ourselves to move forward so much, to heal so much, because we are afraid of the unknown. We do not like the present, but our minds have convinced us that it is known, and thereby we have some sort of safety and control over it, so that is better than any alternative.
Despite our best efforts, many of us are stumbling around, completely closed off to any changes in our lives. We are endlessly repeating the thoughts and understandings of others like zombies, not able to critically think (a subject for a different blog), or have an original though, because to do so would mean fear and danger to our minds which only want us to have a narrow, confined existence.
Most of us are who we are, and we are not open to changing that, even if who we are is depressed, lonely, angry, broke, fearful, ill, traumatized, or closed off. Anything that reminds us that we do not have to be this way causes us to lash out– becoming angry, gossiping, vilifying the perceived “enemy”, and closing ourselves off to the information, ideas, understandings, and even the healing methods that would allow for us to open and experience ourselves on a newer, wholer, more embodied level.
In my practice I have a lot of faith in people. There are many people who find me who have been searching for a long time. They are ready to heal, ready to move beyond who they know themselves to be, ready to move beyond the new-ageisms and canned fake spirituality that is omnipresent and repeated unknowingly and unthinkingly by the majority. They are ready to become who they truly are, and to let go of who they are not. Helping people who are ready to move one step forward, or five, or thirty, is always a pleasure.
But I do get sad sometimes about those I see struggling so hard… those with so much resistance, with so much fear. Those who are just repeating meaningless words from new-ageisms endlessly without being able to think an original thought, those who create drama and gossip and judge anything that is out of their own zone of safety and comfort in this world. I have compassion and understanding for people who are so asleep that they do not realize that their minds are creating endless difficulties for them, keeping them exactly where they are, and lashing out at anything that could possibly take them further towards openness, healing, or further on their spiritual path.
I do understand how hard it is to change, to grow. To look at your world, your beliefs, your understandings, and realize that you could be more vitally who you really are in this world. Healing can be difficult, but for anyone looking to take that one step, or five, I thank you. For anyone who is willing to look and understand and see outside of their safety zone of illusion, I thank you. For anyone who is willing to think critically, to question their reality, and to look beyond what they are given, I thank you. You are truly making this world a better place, a more beautiful world to live in. And your courage is remarkable.