So in the continuation of “popular emails I receive” I will again answer a common one, and will attempt to do so compassionately:

Hi Mary, I am a seeker & I don’t want to seek from you what/how my future will be… & I don’t want to buy spirituality.

My question to you “why are you selling God’s given gift??”

“Is the purpose of Kundalini Awakening in you is to sell its benefits for a price?”

With Regards,

A Seeker

To A Seeker:

I will attempt to answer this question compassionately, even though your intent was to chastise, belittle, and judge me. I get this question a few times a week, so I thought I would answer it rather than delete it, which is what I normally do.

This is the last time I will answer this question, or talk about money (except in perhaps a more esoteric way) because I am tired of it, quite frankly, and this is never an issue about me, it is always about the person and their unresolved trauma and issues around money… and until the person decides to take a look within and take personal responsibility for their issues, they will never be able to even fully read the rest of my response and process it.

It is also true that the intent of questions like these are always tiring– this response is not to spread love, compassion, or good in the world. It is in popular parlance, to be a “troll”. It is an attempt to get me to see you are “right” and that the whole world, the whole universe, should ascribe to your specific brand of spirituality, your own ethics, thoughts on the universe, and your own path. It is an attempt to feel superior to me, because you likely feel inferior to yourself. And I don’t care what you think about me, I do not know you, and when you realize that the opinions of others are as illusory as anything and are simply reflective of their own traumas you typically let this shit go… unless you care about the person and/or respect them or their thoughts. And that is a small group of people to me, quite frankly.

And anyone who cannot see beyond themselves to the point of having compassion for others and respecting their decisions, whatever they might be (even if you personally consider them “wrong”) has not awakened. Simple as that. 

Awakening, even a small amount of awakening, allows for you to see that the world doesn’t need to revolve around you, and in fact you are an infinitesimally small part of the Universe who doesn’t matter that much.

Until people “wake up” to a certain point they believe that the world has to revolve around them, what they have been taught– their own brand of judgements, religious path, spiritual path. It is everything that is wrong with the world today, quite frankly. It shows that the person lacks the capacity or ability to look within themselves to resolve issues that they have with the outer world. It is a basic lack of recognition that in most people, what they see “outer” and their problems with the “outer” world are actually issues within themselves.

This actually changes at a certain point, but not before you get beyond your own conditioning, your own issues, and your own judgements. Until then, everything you are reacting to is an issue that needs to be resolved within yourself.

Once you get to a certain point you begin to realize that people are where they are. You begin to have compassion for them, and their constricted world view, and the amount of anger and fear they must have to not only bring such negativity into the world, but to seek to send it out to others.

If you were to only look inside of yourself, “seeker”, you would see that this issue is not about money, and it isn’t even about me. It is about you, and something that can and should be reconciled within. Except you are not ready to do that, and that is fine… you will likely continue “seeking” on your self-righteous path, judging and sending brutal negativity into the world to anything that you view as not “you”– anyone that is acting in a way that you do not personally agree with.

You will likely continue to quote from religious or spiritual texts, or whomever your teacher or guru is, never having a direct experience of spirituality. And that makes me sad. It makes me sad to think of the thousands and millions of people who do this, and never get to feel a direct, palpable sense of being connected to their greater spiritual nature, to oneness, and to the type of energy that will tell you that everything is okay, and that you do not need to turn your anger and fear outward, that will fill those empty lonely places within that cause people like this to act blindly like this, trying again and again to send their negativity and drama and chaos outward.. and that everything is part of divinity– from money to the most esoteric spiritual concepts.

So I hope that you do find that someday, “seeker”, I really do. Because until then you are just going to continue to lash out at the world, lonely, depressed, never sure why you can’t fill yourself up, continually convinced that your constricted world view is what is right and judging anyone who does not live up to your standards… which likely includes you, by the way… it is in fact really difficult to live up to our own illusory standards, and if we look within we will realize that the standards we set for others we are not meeting ourselves and this is why we feel so angry and afraid and in a state of despair… and this type of energy will never allow for you to be “sought”, to be comfortable, to come to the end of your journey.

Telling people what to do is the least “spiritual” thing that you can do with yourself. Whether it be what diet to eat, what god to worship, or how to make a living, judging people (especially to the extent that you have the need to email them in a confrontational way) is one of the least enlightened things anyone can do.

What you are doing is attempting to steal my power. And I do not give my power away or let others take it.

Let me explain. When someone purposefully sends you the energy of judgement, combined with their thoughts and negativities aimed at you, they are doing this to steal your power. This happens all the time– from message boards on the internet to this person contacting me.

A lot of people are willing to give away their power. And this temporarily fills you up, “seeker”. But it is not your power, so it always dissipates and leaves you feeling empty again. So you need to lash out again, looking for more power to steal. And if you were only to heal yourself, to learn how to develop your own power, you wouldn’t need anyone else’s. You wouldn’t need to act the way you do, quite simply.

By the way, this type of negativity and animosity, the types of energies and thoughtforms that this creates… are much worse that whatever you are judging. The irony here is that this person is seeking to be superior (and often people who send this sort of stuff either quote gurus or will talk about their high “vibration” and/or how shamans don’t accept money, which is completely a myth). You are judging someone for eating meat, worshiping the wrong god, making a living, not acting like you are (even though people who make such judgements are, again, never “awakened” or even more importantly, happy with themselves or their lives). This type of energy that you are sending, that you are likely unaware of, is amplifying the unhappiness, the pain that causes people like you to send such notes. 

In fact, you likely do not realize that it is increasing it. People like this rarely realize that the brutal negativity and judgement they send out (that they hope will land on anyone other than themselves so they don’t actually have to examine anything internally) increases and is sent back to them. They are devolving their karma, their vibration, their own happiness, and are stagnating themselves on their spiritual path, likely for a long time, if not for many lifetimes.

If you are happy with yourself, if you are happy with your path, if you have truly found God or whatever you are seeking, you will have no need for this.

Again, people are where they are. And we can have compassion for them, even if they are someone who is seeking to stick their cords and energetic tentacles and negativity onto anyone out there so they don’t have to deal with their own heap of unprocessed trauma and darkness, even someone who is attempting to steal power from you, even terrorists and murderers and people who enjoy cheese or meat or do not worship the “correct” god. We can all realize that they are simply people, people so far into despair and negativity and chaos that all they can do is lash out.

And people are doing the best they can, or the best they think they can. And in an unhealed state, it is so much easier to lash out than to look within and heal. And people will just keep on repeating the same loop of unhealed behaviors, the same patterns, often blind to the fact that they can do anything about them, often blind to the fact that the problem is them, not the outer manifestation in the physical world.

And healed people do not act like this. They just don’t. They have no need to.

So, seeker, I am going to answer your original question. Why do I accept money?

Because my God, my spirits, my connection to divinity told me that this was my path. In fact, if you knew anything about the call to be a spiritual worker, you would understand that I cannot do anything else for a living. I have tried. Once you get a call to do something like this you cannot be an accountant (nothing against accountants, I love my accountant and actually think he was called to be an accountant). My path has allowed for me to do this full time because it is my calling, and who am I to question my calling? And more importantly, who are you to? If you think that you are greater than my calling, or you should tell me what my calling is and how and what I should do with it… again, you are welcome to do so. But I would suggest questioning the presumptuous and ego-driven nature, the unawakened nature, that would do so, that would seek to question the spiritual path of anyone, the spiritual calling of anyone, especially of someone you have never met or even interacted with before.

Because we are not just spiritual, we are physical. I do this work 24/7, 365. It is my job. If I were an accountant, I would not be able to work with people all day spiritually. Divinity has directly corralled me (not always so gently) to do my work as ethically as I am able to as well as has provided for my rent and my daily needs. And nobody who is a spiritual worker gets rich (well, very rarely, but they typically aren’t doing spiritual work, they are teachers who don’t see clients). The physical and the spiritual are equally important. We are spiritual in physical bodies for a reason, and we need food and shelter, no matter how “spiritual” we are.

This world desperately needs spiritual workers. Spiritual workers who have the capacity to devote their entire life to this work. Spiritual workers who know what they are doing, who have dealt with enough of their own stuff to be of service to others. And this capacity and willingness on the part of the individual to basically have their entire life cater around spiritual work is rare. Very rare. And this world (again) desperately needs people who don’t do this on weekends for fun, who actually can contact the spiritual realms (and not just self-create or work mentally), who have developed their skills over many, many years, and who are beyond the sort of tiring repeated ideologies such as this one.

This is why we have so many people out there like this “seeker”– who have a divide between what is “spiritual” and what is “not” with money solely being in the “not-divine, evil, dark” etc corner of things.

Because money isn’t evil, and money is as divine as anything. Anyone who asks this question has an issue with money. Money is simply a thing. It is neither good nor bad. It just simply is. If you think that money is evil, or that someone is evil for charging, whether they be a spiritual worker or a plumber, that has to do with you, not with anything outer, not with the person you are seeking to chastise or judge. You.

So this is the last time that I will respond to something like this, because quite frankly, it is a stupid question, and I have better things to spend my time on. People who ask this always have the same anger, the same fear, the same issues. While I am compassionate towards it, it makes me tired… as tired as the continual “what is a shaman” questions, as tired as people endlessly quoting their teachers and books and religious texts without having any insight or direct experience of their own.

I am over it, and hope that others who read this blog will consider their relationship and judgement around money, and realize that it is something they can resolve within themselves to great effect on their outer lives… and that the type of judgement and negativity that are created by people like this always is called back to them, thus making them more angry, judgmental, and negative.

Think about this the next time you are judging someone– if your negativity and thoughts are in fact worse than whatever you are judging them for.

The world needs people who can rise above this type of thinking, who can realize that it is okay if people don’t act, think, or believe in the same way they do.

And most importantly, we need to stop sending brutal negativity, judgement, and division into the world. We are at a tipping point in this world energetically, and we can take personal responsibility for ourselves, our thoughts, and our own healing process… or we can continue to put things outer into the world because we do not want to personally deal with them… thus creating and causing the type of collective brutal energies that result in global chaos like we are seeing now.

Most people have huge cultural issues, family issues, ancestral issues, and personal issues with money. It is a relationship that lies unawakened within themselves, unresolved within themselves. It is so easy to put this on other people, and to have some romanticized idea based on your own issues, your own unexamined traumas, and to put those outward onto other people. It is much harder to look at yourself and reconcile within yourself that money is just a thing, like all physical things are things. It is not important, and although it matters quite a bit in the physical world and there is a huge amount of issues concerning hoarding of money, scarcity,and anyone can tell you how difficult life can be when you do not have money to pay the rent… in terms of its spiritual nature money is as divine as whatever spiritual concept is out there, and we can realize that and transcend this type of tiring thinking and repeated behavior.