If we were wanted, how we were treated, and how we came together energetically and spiritually while in utero determines a great deal of our thinking about ourselves and the world around us for the rest of our lives.
How we were born, what sort of love and support we felt, the physical nature of the birth experience will create our understandings of if this world is a place that we feel we are struggling to be a part of on a consistent basis, or if the world is something we move through with ease.
Any trauma that we experience in utero or in the birthing process makes a significant imprint on us.
Trauma during this time can be physical (did we get enough nutritionally, did we have enough space, and so forth), emotional (what were our mother’s thoughts/emotions about us being born, what were our father’s thoughts/emotions, what were our own?, how did the household as a whole react to the realization that we were there… or that we were going to be born?), energetic/spiritual (what energies did we come in with? what ancestral, past life, karmic energies and residue is already there? what is society like, what sort of world are we being born into at the time of our birth?)
I realize this is a large list, but there is even more to consider than these basic questions…
Our in utero and birth experience is not only a significant imprint, it is (arguably) the single most important imprint that we form.
Our first breath, in fact, teaches us about the basic energetics of the world. Was our first breath easy for us? Did we feel supported and loved in this time? Our first breath energetically sets the basis for our basic energetic nature throughout our lives as long as it remains unhealed.
This means that if we are gasping for air, we might have a basic energetic nature of feeling like life can never support us… as if we are continually drowning and grabbing on to anything around us to help us throughout life. If we freely breathe in our first breath but we are not in the vicinity of our mother or father, we may not feel supported or loved by life. If our first breath is in any way problematic, we may find ourselves being more of a “taker” in this world, or in competition with others, because our first imprint of the physical world (our first breath) was that we needed to fight for our place in this world.
As we are developing in utero a variety of energies come together to create us.
We are a grouping of energies, and we come together for the purposes of this lifetime. In utero is the time that we come together spiritually, when our basic spiritual grids are formed that determine everything from our physical nature to our emotions to many of our beliefs. While many of these energies may come from different sources (energies from karmic, past lives, family, ancestral) while these energies are coming together we are also drastically influenced by the container we are formed in (the in utero experience).
So in utero we are a formation of energy, carrying over varying imprints from other sources, and they are creating our own blueprint for the purposes of our individual lifetime. But the emotions, energies, beliefs, and circumstances of the time in utero (especially coming from the mother, but the father as well is a part of this) can drastically change these blueprints.
The single most common belief that comes from having difficult or traumatizing in utero experiences is the belief that we are not intended to be here… or that the Earth doesn’t support us. A very similar belief coming from this time is the belief that we need to do everything ourselves, or that nobody loves, likes, or supports us.
We may also feel like the world, or the people in it, are out to get us, dislike us, or that we are somehow separate from the Earth or society. Other common issues stemming from this time are consciously wanting to die (latent or not-so-latent death wish), a background of latent emotion that doesn’t seem to come from anywhere (this can be ancestral or from other sources as well, but can be from this, such as constantly being filled with rage or grief for no reason), significant self esteem and self-worth issues, self-destructive tendencies (yes, I include addiction with this, although it can be a lot of different behaviors), and overwhelming emotions that arise when the subjects of birth, in utero experiences, while having a child yourself, or conscious knowledge of trauma during the in utero experience or birthing process.
This is not a comprehensive list, but as you can see, a lot of people have large unhealed energies from the in utero experience. Just because you have one “symptom” doesn’t mean you have an unhealed in utero experience, by the way, but as many people do, it is a safe bet to assume that something could be healed there for most people.
One of the biggest reasons why many people take so much in this world is because they were not given the nurturing and support they needed, the healing they needed in utero.
Again, this is one of the biggest reasons we constantly feel in competition with others, and feel as if the world is not a safe place to be. Interestingly, I have worked with many people who really have felt like (and actually are) from “someplace else” (keeping things general) and while they very well might be, or are, the more significant piece of healing beyond healing the origin story is always the in utero experience.
If we feel we were wanted, loved, and supported in utero we will feel wanted, supported, and loved by the world.
But while we cannot have conscious recall (well, most of us) of the in utero circumstances in order to heal this, we can heal this through spiritual work. We can retrace our steps and heal everyone involved until we have a good birth– the birth we wanted. We can consciously decide to incarnate, to be here, and to connect again to ourselves, to the people around us, and to the Earth itself.
And I will likely write another blog about this, but we can go back and go through our births and heal them. There is such a thing as a good birth, and a good death, and proper spiritual work can heal both of those things.
We can go all the way back until we are able to remember our initial separation from Source, our being birthed from oneness into individuality. This is often a profound process for people to work through, as there is often a great deal of grief, rage, and misunderstanding of being separated from Source. Healing our separation from source can have a profound impact on our lives, if we are ready and willing to go there.
We can truly begin to feel loved and wanted by the Earth, despite whatever our actual circumstances were. While we cannot change the physicality of things (lack of nourishment, for example) we can dramatically have an impact on the imprints we have developed, and clear the emotions, beliefs, and imbalanced grids that developed during this crucial time.
We can have a first breath that allows for life to fill our lungs, and to feel totally sustained by this world.