Throughout our perhaps long, winding path of healing ourselves we have come to understand that we have been victimized many times.
This is not an illusion. We have all experienced trauma, difficult situations, and have been in a state of real victimhood– being held captive by a persecutor or two who has caused us real, irreparable harm.
It is incredibly important to heal these inner victims– and to reconcile the harm that has befallen us. If we do not, we are still victims in our own lives, consistently feeling persecuted against by those that surround us (as well as the world).
If we do not heal our inner victim, we act out our patterns of victimhood again and again unconsciously, unknowingly… Whatever our pain and own unique brand of chaos, we act it out with the people and circumstances that surround us until we are able to heal it.
But a funny thing happens the more you heal your victimhood state(s), all of those past incidents in which you have had harm come against you because you were too young, or the force or circumstances were too great for you to bear.
Some of us, if we are willing, begin to understand and reconcile the times we were a persecutor, in which we have made victims of those around us.
It is a difficult thing to reconcile. We in fact have no issue thinking and acting out our victimhood state, the idea that we were wounded or hurt by another is not really news to us, and we are all too willing to accept it.
But the idea that we have harmed others, through our actions, our thoughts, and our emotions most of us cannot process. Or are not willing to.
And this is where karma comes in.
We can get into philosophical debates about karma if you like, but I will say what my understanding and direct experience of karmic patterns are.
As I have mentioned in the past, I spent a great deal of time steeped in intellectualism and actually with each year, or month really, that passes I am less and less interested in sitting around and talking about such constructs. I don’t see much point in it… I would rather “do”: practices, work with others, and develop healing methods that are effective and practical… and I would rather “be”: meaning that I have little interest in questioning every thing that comes into my life, because I really have no idea what is happening to me about 70 percent of the time spiritually, even still.
So there are many understandings of karma, but here are my basics… In a past incarnation or through a past family member/part of our ancestral lineage there was an action that took place, complete with beliefs and understandings, emotions, and a story behind that action.
This action was so “large”– meaning that it had consequences– that it had a ripple effect down through your lives or through your ancestry.
And what is most important, is that if we trace this back far enough, that the originator of the karma was in fact not a victim, but a persecutor.
This is important to understand. Again, we have no issue treking through our past lives, our ancestry (well most of us at a certain point don’t, but I am always surprised still when people want to argue with a spiritual worker that their family, ancestry can impact them.. but I digress) to tell the story of our victimhood, how we have been harmed. Again, this is important work to heal.
But the originator of our karma is, in most cases, someone who caused difficulty, chaos, and harm to another.
And we experience this pattern in our next incarnations until we heal it.
So this can present a few ways. And I will use an example here, to be clear.
A woman came to me feeling like she always needed to hide, that there was danger in her showing herself. She wanted consciously to be seen, but her whole life she felt invisible, was treated as invisible, and had difficulty speaking, being heard, and in fact showing up in any sort of way to her life.
She had many reasons for this from her own lifetime. Severe childhood abuse, a naturally shy disposition, psychic abilities and sensitivities that caused her to feel that the world was a chaotic place to be.
But she also had many past lives in which she needed to be hidden– wars, famines, and the sort of lives where it was in fact dangerous for her to be seen, because being seen meant that she would be raped, killed, sent to war or a death camp.
This was all important healing, and as we worked with this she came out of her shell, and was able to be seen for the first time in her life– at work, finding a partner and fulfilling sexual relationship, and so forth.
But as we worked she realized that she had a past life, and an originator of this pattern. This originator was someone who had been essentially a soldier who was responsible for sealing people up in catacombs, and trying to find people who escaped into those catacombs. He didn’t want to do this, and felt a bit of guilt, but it was either cooperating with those in charge or having harm come to himself.
I am talking about this person because this understanding is fairly typical, if we are willing to go to this depth in our own consciousness.
Most of us are not. We are not ready, willing, or able to think of ourselves in the “persecutor” role, whether it be from our own lifetime, and the karma we are accumulating from the various actions, thoughts, and realizations that we are going to pass on to our next incarnation(s) or down our family line, or from our past lives or ancestry passed to our current incarnation.
It takes a real depth of consciousness, a real willingness to fully heal, to work through patterns like this. It also requires going beyond the surface levels, and stopping to realize that the “spiritual teachers” and “healers” who are suggesting that you can clear karma by waving your hands around or chanting their mantra, or any method that allows for us to simply, neatly, and clearly cut away our karma without understanding it or reconciling it may not know what they are talking about.
Until we reconcile what happened, we can only heal so much. Until we take personal responsibility, fully and with great courage, we can only heal so much.
We are all so used to the victimhood state, and that is important, if not essential to heal. In fact, it must be healed first, and often for a long period of time. But some people are ready to move beyond that, to really heal the root reasons of why they unconsciously move through patterns, why they are acting out these patterns with specific people in their lives, why there is so much unspoken energy between you and another when it just doesn’t make sense given the context of your lifetime.
For those willing to go to those depths, you can truly release patterns like this. To free yourself from not only the victim but the persecutor. To no longer be unconsciously moving through your life, through your relationships, with unspoken energy pressed on you from various incarnations and karmic energies.
It just requires a person of depth, and of courage, and of readiness.
If you are interested in releasing karmic energies, old contracts, various victimhoods, and/or even the persecutor, you can contact me… I will say that many people are not ready for this type of healing, and it is in our nature to jump to the most advanced thing we can think of (from A to Z, as the saying goes) without working with anything in the middle. Some of the middle needs to be worked with, and this work is typically for people who have been on a healing path for quite a while. But you can contact me with interest, and we can work with whatever energies show up for you to heal, and at whatever level you are ready to heal them.