In our pursuit to become intellectualized, “higher” animals, we have lost our inherent primal nature. While we all appreciate the modern appliances and way of life that allows for computers, air conditioning, and educational pursuits, we have in our pursuit of such things demonized, ignored, and cast away a vital aspect of ourselves.
Our primal selves. The animalistic force that is within all of us. The energy that does not wish to think, to reason intellectually. The energy that wishes to act, to claw, scream, whimper, stomp its feet on the ground, have sex, make love, be in nature… the aspect of ourselves that may be murderous, basic, evil, hate, and is our primal, natural, animal instinct.
So why return to this? Why acknowledge this? Most of our spiritual pursuits are about finding and acknowledging our “higher” selves. We find angels and discover ourselves as divine. We may find joy. We go after that which is “light and love”. We begin defining anything that is not “light and love” as not spiritual.
But that is not all there is. That is not all spirituality is. When we ignore any aspect of ourselves, when any part of ourselves is subconscious it will act out its most subconscious desires in patterns that may confuse us. We may chastise ourselves for “awakening” while thinking poorly about someone who cut us off in traffic. We may pretend to be “love and light” and still gossip, judge, and hate those different than us. We may be spiritual and create animals and earthly “spiritual helpers” that are fuzzy, warm, and deprived of any animal instincts. We may begin to believe that “awakening” is about “ascension” and is completely separate from our physical lives, our sexual instinct, our primal needs and emotions.
When we separate from our primal selves that aspect of ourselves begs to be noticed. We gravitate towards the activities and patterns that will satiate it, but without understanding these patterns will simply repeat. In mundane terms, there is a reason why the states in the U.S. that wish to teach only abstinence education to children and teenagers, that are anti-gay marriage, and anti-abortion are also the states that have the highest rates of pornography usage. In mundane terms, there is a reason why as a country and as a world (for the most part, some countries excluded) we are so sexually deprived and fixated on young girls as beacons of sexuality because the idea of adult sexuality creates fear. In mundane terms, there is a reason why we are always at war, creating violence, and spewing hatred towards one another.
When we do not recognize and work with our primal selves this energy goes out into our lives as individuals… but it also goes out into the world as a whole.
Until we recognize our primal selves and learn how to work with even our most base instincts in this world we will not fully be conscious. Until we recognize that our spiritual natures are not all “love and light” but can include even the most murderous, scratching, clawing, sexual, primal instincts we are not awakened. As a culture, as a world, when we do not work with, understand, and love the aspects of ourselves that are animalistic, sexual, primal in nature we as a culture and a world unconsciously create scenarios to satiate our primal selves.
When we as individuals are able to recognize our primal selves we can begin to feel compassion for this thrown away, scolded, and judged piece of ourselves. When we are willing to come away from this idea that spirituality is all things– higher self, lower self, divine, animalistic, fierce, smooth, flowing, kind, compassionate, violent, angry, sexual, peaceful, loving, hating, energetic, emotional, mental, spiritual, physical– we can transcend the illusions that are so commonly perpetuated in the awakening community and truly awaken. And more than that, we can recognize, reconcile, and love a piece of ourselves that we have cast away… and in doing so we can become more embodied, more awakened, and more compassionate towards ourselves. We can fully become who we truly are.
Making peace with our most violent instinct, our most primal may seem like the least “spiritual” idea to many of you. If this is true, question why. Question why spirituality needs to be about a certain brand of illusory light… the same light, the same rules, the same illusions that are commonly taught to make people believe that spirituality is anything but physical, anything but right here and now, anything but emotional… anything but your every-day lives. There is an agenda to this illusion. There is a reason why this illusion has been perpetuated for centuries. It is because it keeps us from ever becoming whole, it keeps us from going from seeker to sought, and it keeps us from truly awakening. We are never truly satiated by these illusions because they are not what we need to truly awaken, to truly become whole. So we continue looking and buying the same illusion again and again, the same books and thoughts from different gurus/teachers again and again… but we never find what we are looking for… which is wholeness, reconciliation of all parts of ourselves, and our true divine nature… which is rooted in love for all aspects of ourselves.
Our primal selves are playful, joyful, devious, fun… they can teach us a lot. When we engage with them, when we make them conscious we no longer have the repression, the rules and restrictions that have been handed to us by ourselves, our families, by society, by others who consider themselves “spiritual”. When we can make peace with the inner violence, with the sexual currents within us, with the hatred, with the desire to scream and slash and run, when we are conscious of every bit of ourselves we no longer subconsciously (or consciously) lash out at the world… and we have taken responsibility for that small parcel of energy that has gone out into the world making our world such a violent, unconscious, unfeeling, and quite frankly, brutal, place to be.
My first book, the Spiritual Awakening Guide, is available on Amazon now. It goes over types of spiritual awakenings, the spiritual journey as a whole, and symptoms of spiritual awakening in a pragmatic, non-dogmatic way. You can get it here or here (kindle version).