Cord Cutting

On the Topic of Energy Vampires

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In our daily lives, below the capacity of most of our senses, we exchange not only conversation and interactions with others but also energy. Energy is the real currency of this world, and those who are able to cultivate it or take it from others find themselves in two very different positions of power.

The person who cultivates their energy– through understanding who they are, doing practices such as meditation, spiritual practices, qi gong, yoga, tai chi, or even working out (in a balanced way i.e. not too much so it is depleting but not too little that it isn’t a regular practice)– finds themselves in a place of power that radiates from them and is palpable to others. They know who they are, what they are intended to do here. They are crisp, clear, assertive, and have firm boundaries.

This is of course for a healthy system. I am sure that we all know people who exercise daily simply to keep the proverbial demons at bay, or in my line of work I come across a lot of magical/occult/spiritual practitioners who are too caught up in their own stuff so that they don’t really cultivate their power. But more typically, people who do these practices do not cultivate this sort of palpable presence either because they are afraid of it, because they are blocking themselves, or because they are “armchair”– basically meaning that they read all the books but never do any of the practices on a regular basis.

There is also the difficulty here of belief system– so many people are afraid of their own power or believe it is “bad” because of teachers and teachings that are aimed at their students staying in a disempowered role, which causes the student to stay exactly where they are in terms of belief structure and power. They believe what their teacher taught them to believe, basically… and they are not ready or willing to rise above it.

But mainly a lot of power, and coming into our own power, has to do with trauma. Trauma disempowers us, it separates us from ourselves. When we are disassociated, fractured, or basically not embodied we can only have so much power. This is why some people get addicted to meditation and workshops and the illusory worlds they create for themselves– because in those worlds and experiences they have power. In their daily lives, in their physical bodies they do not. So we have a whole generation of spiritual enthusiasts who are goddesses in their meditations and in their daily lives they feel disempowered.

But the person who cultivates their power, their energy, in an embodied way, is something to behold. They know who they are, what they think, and have moved past enough of their shit to no longer block or fear themselves.

Those who take energy from others is another story…

Before I start on this, I will say in some communities the term “vampire” is meant for mutually beneficial or even playful exchanges of energy. There are whole conferences where people congregate and consciously decide to swap energy with one another. There are also relationships where each party in the relationship decides to swap energy in a similar fashion. But these are conscious happenings, with typically pretty clear boundaries (if it is healthy, of course).

I have cultivated a fair amount of energy at this point. I do not say that as a “oh I am so special” sort of thing. I believe that anyone can cultivate energy and power who has appropriate teachers, appropriate techniques, and the presence of mind to do so…. and more importantly works on said techniques on a regular basis. As a side note, I sometimes get approached by people who want to become more conscious, awake, enlightened, have kundalini awaken, etc… and I always tell them to meditate daily. Probably 1 out of 10 do. Probably 1 out of 50 actually stick with it in some capacity (yes, I am making those numbers up, but they are probably fairly true). But generally the people who are ready to do so will. People who are ready to cultivate their energy will find a way to do so, to go beyond the surface level and powerless teachings that always cause the student to want and need more… to find the appropriate methods, teachers, and regular practices that allow for them to do so.

But I generally mention this point because I am still balancing my compassion with my boundaries. I have been working consciously on boundaries for over a decade now, and I am still being taught and fine-tuning my boundaries. I am especially taught by energy vampires– because they have the capability to really test people in order to sort of “suck” their energy and are sometimes quite skilled at it (whether they are conscious of the ability or not)

I am lucky that I do not get “sucked in” so to speak very often, but it happens. And each time it is a learning experience for me. Each time it allows for me to have a bit more clarity, to redefine my boundaries even further, and to be steadfast in my boundaries the next time.

Each time it allows for me to see what I truly want in my relationships, in my friendships, and in the relationships in my practice.

Developing boundaries, although it may not seem like it, is a compassionate act. To the traumatized energy vampire who is looking for energy and finds you unwilling to give yours, it might initially cause them to have a bit of a tantrum, or to think negatively about you… or even to break off a friendship or a relationship with you.

It is funny, each time that I work through something my relationships change. Those who are simply looking to be parasitic to me drop away as I become healthier and more clear. The more clearly defined my boundaries are the less energy vampires contact me, wish to work with me, or wish to have friendships with me. And those already in contact with me will find other practitioners or “friends” to feed off of.

But let us back up a bit and consider what an energy vampire is.

For the sake of simplicity, energy vampires can be described as someone who takes or steals energy from others. They are the type of person that most people have a visceral reaction to (as in, “Amy is coming to the party? Ugh, I don’t know what it is about her, but I just don’t like her” sort of energy). These people typically are heavy (in energy). They are draining.

In conversation they only really have the capacity to talk about themselves. Typically about how bad their lives are. When they first meet you they are likely to tell you information that is inappropriate for a first meeting, such as what diseases they have, details about how difficult their lives are, and how much they are suffering. They do this to create compassion for them, and possibly empathy. This allows for them to more readily and easily take energy from you.

When we are compassionate, we are open. Compassion can be a great force of good in this world. If we were only to see what it would be like to walk in the shoes of another a lot of the issues of this world will lessen, if not cease completely.

But compassion without boundaries equals an unbalanced energy exchange. Those who are energy vampires take advantage of this and “take” as much as they can with the person they are interacting with.

People who are looking for energy outside of themselves will always find someone willing to give their energy. Some energy vampires will look for either the person they can find that has cultivated the “most” energy… or the person who is a natural nurturer and is depleted but is willing to give a lot of their energy away.

An energy vampire is not able to handle you talking about your own issues, or asking them for anything. They simply wish to take as much energy as they can from you– and while on the surface they may listen to you, they are not extending or offering any of their own energy.

In fact, the minute that an energy vampire realizes that you might expect or want an equal exchange of energy with them they will find someone else to interact with.

I am of full realization that in 99 percent of cases, the energy vampire doesn’t realize that they are doing this. They have simply learned to make their way in this world by draining others. On some level most of them realize (it seems) that people viscerally and intuitively do not like them and do not like to be around them. That they are heavy, stagnant, and that their lives are often filled with difficulties.

They realize that there is an emptiness inside that they are attempting to fill. 

And I feel compassion for them, I really do. It must be hard to be so wounded, so traumatized, that you feel that your only hope for connection to others is to take. That the only way that the hole inside that they sense can be filled is through taking the energy of others around them (rather than filling it themselves with their own energy, health, and power). It must be hard to on some level realize that people see the energy vampire at a party, or calling/emailing them and their first response is “not this person again!”

But until the energy vampire realizes that they do not need to “tentacle” outside of themselves (what this looks like to me– literally like a tentacle type cord that is gooey and looking for a person to attach to), and fill that place that is inside, they will continue to act like this. They will continue to drain those around them, they will continue to be that person that goes through that cycle of negativity and need for compassion in order to drain those around them (and then quickly go into victim mode in most cases if they are not “opened” to so they can drain the person they are telling about their diseases or difficulties or negativity to).

I do realize the above sounds harsh, but there are varying degrees of this, of course. There are energy vampires that are more subtle than this, and I have used an example of a completely draining energy vampire to illustrate a point here. But this is a commonplace enough phenomena that most of us will recognize this cycle and likely be able to name one, or five, or twenty energy vampires in our lives.

So the question is what to do about this? We could get upset that there are people out there like this, but really these people are so traumatized with such a black hole within themselves that it is hard to get upset at them. They are operating the best they know how, and unfortunately they feel (and have learned) that they need to take energy from others in order to function. Until they are ready and willing to see that they can fill that hole in themselves and come into their own power, they will likely continue taking from others, and be unable to give anything of themselves.

We could treat this as a learning opportunity, as I do. Every time I find myself in a situation with an energy vampire that has successfully gotten past my initial boundaries, it is up to me to find out why they were able to do so. In sitting with this, I am often able to heal situations that I would not have if they had not broached my boundaries. It is even more of a learning opportunity if I find myself in friendships or relationships of some sort with this type, as there is often a need for healing there and once I resolve it, the person will disappear from my life because they are no longer able to drain my energy. Luckily, I am able to realize this pattern pretty quickly these days and I have the opportunity to firmly put up boundaries and remove the tentacle they have stuck on me (as well as the slime/goo).

So these people are a blessing, really… because they teach us how to build strong boundaries. 

But in reality if we are aware of energy vampires they can only have so much power. The best way to stop someone “taking” from you is to realize that they are doing it. You do not have to see the tentacle, you can have a basic understanding that the person in front of you is an energy vampire. You can then have compassion for them– it must be difficult to live life like that. You can then say an internal “no” as in– you are not going to take my energy and I am not going to open to you so you can do so– and it is likely that the person will leave you alone to find an easier target. You can also simply start expecting an equal relationship with them– telling them about your issues and expecting help from them. The energy vampire will either go into a more equal relationship with you… or chances are they will disappear from your life, moving on to the next person who will allow for them to take their energy.

By the way, if you have not bought/read my Cord book it will teach you how to work with cords, which really helps. Promise.

The Complete Cord Course is now on sale!

A brief post, but my book that will teach you everything that you would want to know about energetic cording is now on sale.

You can purchase the print edition here through Amazon for only $10.66

You can purchase the kindle version here through Amazon for only $7.99

Each course will go through basic, intermediate, and advanced considerations of energetic cords.

This is some of the most effective and life-changing work that I teach.

I cannot emphasize enough how this work, and learning how to do it properly has changed my life, my relationships, and how I view the world. 

The book first goes into our energetic cords to other people. Learn not only basic versions of how to “cut and clear” cords– work that is somewhat commonly taught… but is shared in this book in a clear and complete way– but also to release and work with the cords that do not clear so easily… either to significant relationships or cords that remain due to trauma and unprocessed emotions.

It is funny, when I first found work for energetic cords this was really all their was… the basics… cut and clear. But I noticed that cords remained, re-grew, and that a lot of things really stayed the same. Most of all I found myself with lots of cords were filled with the same emotions and issues as they had before.

This is why this work is not more effective– because most of the knowledge of it doesn’t really release cords to significant relationships, deep emotions, traumas, and allow for you to learn the lessons that you need.

This book teaches you how to do that. Learn how to communicate with cords to significant relationships, release traumas, and start your relationships anew. Learn how to release the thousands of cords that you have likely unknowingly picked up through your interactions with others. Learn how to have a balanced relationship with the people around you.

You will not only learn the basics of cutting and clearing cords but will also learn how to release emotions and energies through them, how to alter them, how to move them around in your body, and more.

The rest of the book goes over cords to former humans (spirits), beings, and energies, complex or woven cords (cords that are stuck together), and cords to places or events. Freeing ourselves from these cords and learning how to find them through the direct experience and meditations in the book will allow for you to powerfully move forward in your life and feel a sort of freedom and lack of chaos that you likely have never felt.

The advanced portion of the book goes over “natural cords”– cords that are a natural part of our energetic anatomy. Learn how to discover and work with cords to past lives, to your ancestral line, and to your future/destiny.

Learn how to discover and work with cords that connect you to your other “bodies”– astral, mental, and etheric.

Learn how to work with the cord that grounds us deeply into the Earth and connects us directly into the Cosmos

The book ends with in-utero work, and discovery of the umbilical cord. Few people know how profoundly our in-utero experiences create our worlds, and how negative impressions such as feeling unwanted, unloved, feeling “other” or even having a death wish can come from the in utero experience. Learn to release the in utero imprints and powerfully and completely claim your incarnation here on Earth.

Although this is a short book (115 pages), it is a book filled with meditations and exercises to get you straight into discovering and working with these cords. I have been getting incredible feedback from this work and book, and I hope to make it more available to a wider audience so you all can understand and work with this often neglected piece of energetic anatomy.

 

Energetic Cording

When we have any sort of relationship with someone, we form an energetic cord to them. 

Some of these cords, such as to people who we have just met, the checkout person at the supermarket, and others who we have not shared experiences or shared any sort of kinship with, are likely small, thin, and harder to perceive.

Every person we come across, every person that has crossed our path is some seemingly insignificant way we have formed a cord to.

If we have never energetically worked with cords, the number of cords that we could have from these seemingly insignificant and meaningless encounters could number in the hundreds. Or the thousands.

Some of these cords naturally resolve. But others we need to take care of to maintain energetic hygiene.

What is energetic hygiene? It is the goal of being as clear as possible of other peoples’ stuff. Throughout our days, and our lives, we collect a lot of energy that is not ours– emotions, stressors, and cords are some of the most common things to stick to our energetic field (the area immediately surrounding our physical body) as well as inside our physical body.

We like to think of ourselves as concrete, physical creatures but we are simply energy. Condensed energy that is. Our physical bodies are nothing more than energy that has grouped together and condensed to create our physical form. So it is common for other energies– those from our environment, from other sources, and from other people to energetically take up some of our space when it shouldn’t.

Energy hygiene to me means that we have practices and tools to maintain our own physical bodies as solely ours. Tools to realize what energies are within us, surrounding us, or approaching us. Most of us do not have these skills and are dealing with the effects of energy that is not ours impacting us.

How do cords impact us? In insignificant relationships (which we may have hundreds or thousands of cords to) we may simply feel unclear, fatigued, or uncertain. We may be so used to having so many cords that we are used to this state. Most of us have not learned the tools to understand and work with energetic cords, how to discern what energies are impacting us (what is ours and what is not), and what to do about it.

In more significant relationships, where we have developed more significant cords/connections to the person, we may have a variety of symptoms that are more pronounced. Exacerbated fatigue, illness, feeling waves of emotion, suddenly recalling the person whom we are corded to even though our relationship has long passed, not being able to move past a relationship we may have had, or not being able to heal trauma or experiences from a current relationship.

Working with cords is one of the most important aspects of energy work you can do. There is nothing like the sudden clarity that comes from releasing one toxic cord, or hundreds of seemingly insignificant cords.

Working with cords can help you release emotions, past events, past relationships, and come to new understandings about who you are. The release of cords wrapped up in family situations, in friendships, or with lovers/relationships can help you heal significant relationships in your current life. The removal of cords to people of the past can help release hurt and simply move on in a powerful way in your life.

This subject is so important, and is rarely talked about beyond a beginning level. In order to help the most people with this I have developed a course called Basic and Intermediate Cord Cutting and Clearing.

This course will take you through the basics of what a cord is, how to sense them, and how to cut and clear them. In the intermediate section it goes over how to work with cords that remain and how to release them over time, or through understanding the emotions, experiences, lessons, and energies involved in significant cording. Also discussed is the phenomena of “energy vampires” and the basics of how to recognize this phenomena and how to empower yourself so you are not a victim of one.

This work is suggested for really anyone, but especially anyone who is sensitive, who does energy work or spiritual healing, or who interacts with a lot of people on a regular basis– especially people in the helping professions, such as doctors, nurses, lawyers, social workers, retail workers, teachers, and more.

It is available on Amazon kindle here, or you can purchase the course through me here. If you are outside of the U.S. and wish to purchase the course through me, simply contact me so you can purchase it through Paypal.

And, as always, if there is a particularly difficult cord that you are working with and need guidance or help healing, you can contact me to set up an appointment for us to work on it together.

And yes, an Advanced Cording Course is in the works. Stay tuned for more details!

Thoughtforms: The Consolidated Energy of Thoughts

A few weeks ago I got into a discussion with a woman who is somewhat of a colleague of mine, although with different interests in the fields of energy work and spiritual healing. I have a lot of love for this woman, because she has had a difficult past, is quite ill, and is willing to look beyond what society, her family, and her traumas are telling her about herself in order to heal. I find it admirable, and beautiful, when anyone is willing to question or really to think in a world where most of our thoughts or ideas and our understandings about the world have been given to us by others.

But an interesting thing happened. We had a discussion that ended up in disagreement. Both of us are past the point that disagreement causes animosity towards the other person. The ability to have in-depth discussions like this, even with opposing viewpoints or different ideas about a subject, that do not turn into hurt feelings or personal attacks or the magnification of personal trauma is rare, and I love when it happens.

Later that evening as I was going to bed I became acutely aware of an energy in my room that was not mine. I have excellent protections in my home due to the type of work that I do and my general sensitivity level so it is rare that something could get in the bedroom that was not mine. But it was this woman, my colleague…

It was not her astral projecting, or in any way her physical or spiritual presence. The discussion that we had that afternoon had stirred up emotions from her and she had some thoughts towards me that were less than complimentary. I repeat that this was and is a lovely woman who temporarily got triggered, and the thoughts that she had, due in major part to her spiritual/energetic abilities were sent to me as a consolidated, projected thoughtform. 

As for this situation, I messaged her and she realized what she was doing and apologized. Like I said, she is the type of lovely person who is willing to take personal responsibility for herself and is spiritually aware/advanced enough to understand that she is not perfect. (She is fine with me telling this story, just as an FYI for those curious).

So what is a thoughtform? We are in a sea of thoughts, of emotions, of understandings and ideas that are not our own. In our “spiritual” society there is a huge focus on chakras and larger energies like spirits. But what is most common energetically to encounter is this energetic sea of thoughts. It surrounds us, it engulfs us. Most of us pick up on these thoughts, these ideas subconsciously and incorporate them into our lives without even realizing it.

It is hard to break free from this. Releasing the thoughts and belief systems of other people, of teachers/gurus, of society, is typically a really hard transition. Our thoughts and beliefs form most of our external day-to-day reality. The ability to break free from this is a deeply healing process, and typically allows for us to see or sense thoughtforms and the sea of thoughts, as well as allows for us to stop, for the most part, caring what other people think about us. This is incredibly freeing, as we all fear judgement and may find ourselves feared, hated, or gossiped about by others… this really hurts until we are able to free ourselves from thoughtforms… and then we can take personal stock of what is our issue and what is theirs, often discovering that what people don’t like about us or judge us for doesn’t have much to do with us, but rather something we have triggered that is unhealed or doesn’t want to be conscious in them.

Thoughtforms are really just consolidated thoughts. Like I mentioned, we are in a sea of thoughts. Many of them affect us, but a lot of them don’t have a large impact on us– it would be like walking through a mist or a cloud– we would make it out the other side a little damp but not that much changed.

Thoughtforms are a bit different. These are consolidated thoughts… they typically have emotion attached to them as well. These will either be charged by society (meaning that many people in that society have a lot of emotion and are resonating with and helping to create that thought on a societal level… which is how our reality is constructed basically) or they are projected thoughts at you that either have a lot of emotion, are of importance, or are coming from someone who has some spiritual/energetic power. 

Let me explain.

Some thoughts have a lot of emotion attached to them. They resonate with our own traumas, our own fears, our own sense of injustice in the world. When we argue with someone, when we disagree with someone, when we get into an altercation with someone this often turns into personal attack… if not physical altercation. But what also happens is that the person, with a great deal of emotion, begins thinking negative thoughts about you. The thoughts they are having, plus the heightened emotions, aimed at you means that you are having thoughtforms hurled at you from that person. 

This is like a bubble of animosity, or not-so-nice thoughts, that comes at you and stays in your energetic field until it naturally dissipates, or you take care of it. If this is a one time occurrence, and you are of relative stable and sound mind, you will likely be mad for a bit, notice the thoughtform subconsciously (perhaps sending one back) and it will naturally break apart over time. If the person is consistently thinking negative thoughts about you they will be sending a lot of these “bubbles” into your field, and it might need to be cleared by a spiritual worker. The person sending these thoughts doesn’t need to be aware of this (and they frequently are not) or be spiritual aware, powerful, etc. in any way. They just have to have a lot of emotion and negativity towards you.

Some thoughts consolidate and crystallize in your energy field because they are of importance. Or they come from an important person. For example, if our parent says that we will never amount to anything, if a teacher we had says that our paper was awful, if a friend calls us a terrible friend, if a boyfriend says we will never find anyone else like him. These thoughts all come from people that we care more about, and so their words carry a specific sort of weight that is more likely to cause consolidated thoughtforms and trauma. In this case we will begin to believe the crystallized thoughtform (again, likely not on a conscious level) believing that we are worthless, or a terrible friend, or that we cannot write papers. In this case the thoughtform/consolidated energy needs to be removed and often there needs to be a bit of trauma work done so you can move past the situation and person that created this, or at the very least forgive them for doing so.

The third basic way thoughtforms are created and affect us are thoughtforms that are projected at us from someone with spiritual or energetic abilities or power. The more spiritual power that we have the more we have to be responsible for our thoughts, because they can project and affect a lot of things. Basically, the more spiritually aware we are the more we are able to affect the environment and world around us energetically. But it doesn’t take a lot of spiritual power or capability to have our thoughts be more powerful than “average” or projected at others. Recently I have become aware of someone who dislikes me because I talk about things that are not “safe” or “love and light”. I am not his cup of tea, as it goes. This is fine, and I still consider him to be a lovely person, if a bit fearful and stuck in spiritual immaturity. I became aware as he was consistently thinking negative thoughts about me of jealous and rather nasty thoughtforms coming my way. I am at the point where I just reflect them (and wear a mirror to do so) but I do find it funny that the “love and light-ers” are the most likely to send out negativity and negative thoughtforms into the world. 

When we take care of our negativity… when we acknowledge it… it does not go out into the world. If we choose to remain “love and light” and not acknowledge our negativity, our emotions, and so on these get powerfully sent out into the world. If all of the “lightworkers”, energy workers, “shamans” and spiritual workers would just focus on clearing their own trauma and negativity, and reconciling with their darkness and primal natures the world could powerfully change. That won’t happen, but it of course would be lovely if it did.

Working with Thoughtforms: The Basics
This can be as simple as watching our thoughts. This can also be taken a step further and be watching our thoughts and acknowledging when thoughts come up that are not so pleasant. Or realizing that when we have a lot of negativity towards someone that it likely more about us than them… or that it is likely more about the situation or topic than them. There is no need to send negative thoughts to someone who disagrees with us politically, or has a different understanding of the world than us (no matter how twisted we may feel theirs may be and how “right” ours is). If someone cuts us off in traffic and we get really upset at them we can realize that it is about the situation, rather than them. 

This does not mean that someone we are getting into conflict in isn’t an idiot, or dangerous, or unkind. In most cases it does mean that they have a lot of trauma and difficulty in their lives. People who are happy with themselves don’t send brutal negativity into the world. In general, realizing that people operate under a whole lot of sleep, with a lot of trauma and difficulty and struggle and rigidity in their lives is enough to begin to feel compassion for them.

If we are a “lightworker” we can realize that not everything has to be “light”. We can sit with our negativity, our fears, our judgements, our passion, our primal, animal natures, our physical bodies, our darkness, and have compassion and love for it. Real “lightwork” is acknowledging and loving every part of us– light and dark– and becoming embodied. Spirituality isn’t about escaping our physical realities, or only focusing on the “light”. When we can sit with and acknowledge our anger as well as our bliss and feel compassion for both we are well on our way to becoming “en-light-ened”.

I am certainly not perfect (although I am generally happy with my existence, path, etc) so when I catch myself sending out thoughtforms I apologize, allow myself to see them, and call them back to me. I then “pop” them and watch them disintegrate into the earth. I then apologize to the person who I sent them to, asking for their forgiveness (mentally, of course, I do not call them on the phone unless they are a friend and really, really spiritual aware), and thank them for being a teacher for me. They have showed me something that I need to heal in myself.. otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten mad, jealous, fearful, or whatever in the first place.

As I mentioned, I also wear a small mirror necklace to deflect these sorts of things, do spiritual bathing (a topic for another day) once or twice a week to clear anything that is not “mine”, and track (look for) anyone or anything that is around me that is affecting me.

Thoughtforms can affect our mood, can make us feel negative about ourselves (we feel the emotion or thought that is being sent to us and believe it is our own), and can make us think about the person or event that has transpired (that has created the thoughtform) long after it is over. Learning to clear your energy field, learning how to track thoughtforms, realizing when you are sending out thoughtforms (and bringing them back/taking personal responsibility for them), and learning how to protect yourself and free yourself from thoughtforms, learning how to clear cords if necessary (I have a class on cord clearing/cutting here) are all skills that can be acquired. If you have interest in doing so and setting an appointment to learn how to do so, you can contact me.

 

Releasing Friendships

spiritual awareness2Recently I got into a disagreement with a friend. I had slowly been bothered more and more about how she presented herself to the world and the amount of falsehoods and ego she was using to mask her rather bitter and lonely existence. To me, the first step in solving issues is to face them, to stand in your truth- even if it is a bitter and lonely truth. I can understand why people do not do so, and tried to give her space to figure it out, but I could sense our relationship disintegrating for the last few months of our friendship.

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