I sometimes receive interesting responses to my blogs. My last one (on world energies) had a few people email me with “solutions” for the perceived problem.
The difficulty with this is that sometimes things don’t have a solution.
The difficulty with this is that sometimes things that create difficulty or confusion are not problems. They just simply are what they are– confusing, messy, difficult, or incomprehensible.
Of course, sometimes we simply haven’t thought of a solution yet. Sometimes we are on the precipice of a solution, or of resolution for a topic or understanding, and that is why the subject is coming up for us.
But sometimes things don’t have a solution. They are too large, too complex, to messy for us to truly understand the totality of.
This, of course, makes people uncomfortable. It is hard to hang out in that liminal space, to realize that things do not need to be tidy, and that complex subjects do not need quick and easy resolution or solution.
Our minds (ego, brain) love resolution. They love simplicity and fitting subjects into charts, graphs, and one-for-one ratios. This is why much of spirituality has been watered down and approaches surface level meaninglessness. It is much harder to believe (for example) that seeing a rabbit in our front yard may spiritually mean thousands of different things than to look in a dictionary and see it means one singular thing. It is much harder to accept that our disease or illness may have many different spiritual, physical, emotional, mental, and environmental contributing factors than to be told that it is simply one thing.
In order to transcend our own limitations we can learn to be okay with multiple meanings, multiple depths, and even contrary answers. Or no answers at all.
The larger and more complex subjects surrounding spirituality and philosophy have long lines of people offering tidy answers and solutions.
We are uncomfortable with death, and the uncertainty of what happens when we die. Death is one of our largest fears, both personally and culturally. To appease this there are long lines of “solutions” from people telling us exactly what happens after death.
I have been doing psychopomp work now for a long time. I have seen and interacted with energies and spirits for a long time. And the more I do this work the more I realize that there are no simple solutions surrounding death. No simple answers. Every time I am certain of my cosmology, of what is truly out there, of what is capable of happening, it sifts through my fingers like sand and I find myself on the precipice of new understandings.
There are things that happen more often than not, of course. But there is always something new to learn, to experience, and to understand with this work. The moment that we think of something, or anything, as being one thing, or one way, the more that we lock ourselves down… and the more we are unable to see beyond the tunnel vision we have created for ourselves.
The point here being that when we lock down our cosmology, if we mindlessly think and accept solutions in this world it is likely to appease that welling of anxiety, of fear, within us. But there is much more out there than our own cosmology– it is just a question of if we are willing to think, to grow, and to understand more than we do now.
The unknown is uncomfortable. It is a rarity to sit with openness– a rarity to sit in the space of being okay with the unknown. Our minds want fast and easy solutions to everything– from taxes to the most esoteric spiritual subjects to our own spiritual growth.
The irony of this is that it is only be acknowledging how much we do not know that we can allow for ourselves to grow.
The irony of this is that if assure ourselves of anything in order to appease our minds that we stop growing. I have discussed this before, but I have seen so many take on the mantle of “teacher” and completely close off their beliefs and personal growth to anything new. They are now a perceived “authority” so they stop their growth. It is a rarity to see teachers grow beyond their own teachings. This is why we have so many teachers with books recycling the same subjects again and again, or who have stagnated themselves so they think and believe the same way they did ten, twenty, or forty years ago.
A true teacher is one who is open to that which they don’t know, and is willing to state that they do not know. I am always impressed by this, when I see a teacher do it. It makes me sit up, and pay attention to them. Humility is one of the biggest things I look for if I am looking for new thoughts, readings, or people in which to learn from. The minute someone tells me (often with an air of superiority) that they have all the answers, or they no longer have any issues (or are perfectly realized, have no ego, shadow, etc) I know to nicely tell them “thank you” and walk away.
Because people who truly have these things have no need to talk about them with the energy of others being lesser than them, and as long as any of us are in human bodies we are not perfect… and we all still have egos, shadows, etc. while we are in the human form.
Being a teacher is difficult, especially with spiritual matters (but really any type of teaching). Because students want answers. Or most students want answers. They want to go to an authority that will tell them concretely how to live their lives, what happens after death, and who and what they should be.
Much of our educational system engenders this– that we always look to an outer authority to tell us about ourselves, to tell us what we should know and what we should believe.
A teacher who is willing to tell someone that they do not know, or that the student should look within themselves for answers (and teaches them how) is a true teacher.
Because just like the student, the teacher is also looking for comfort. They are looking for that energy of the student. Many teachers are looking to be exalted, treated like demi-gods, or to have their students treat their understandings and realizations as the one true path. Like the student, they are looking for outer energy to fill up the empty places within themselves.
Of course we all sometimes need that outer energy– teachers, advice, community– to be a catalyst for our own process. Sometimes it comes across in my writings that we do not need anything other than our own inner process. But what I am actually saying is that we should be filled with our own power, our own realizations, and have our own clarity… but we still need outer sources to provide their clarity, insight, or new realizations to help us grow and learn. It is in fact essential to have this, as we tend to lack clarity when it comes to our own lives and our own processes, and healing of bigger patterns is best done with other present, listening, and holding space for us.
There are of course many teachers not like this, teachers who challenge their students, who will state what they know with the realization of how much else is out there. Who know that they are an authority, but that there is so much more for them to learn and be. Who simply teach what they know with humility and regard for the student– not as someone who is lesser but as someone who simply might know less currently than they do. Who is filled with realization, who has done enough healing that they do not need the energy or accolades of students– they have simply reached a part of their path where they are intended to be of service, and so they are.
If you find a teacher like this, who is able to be okay with the unknown, who can hang out in that space, it is a sign of a teacher worth knowing and studying from.
If you find anyone who is willing to sit with the unknown, sit with the unanswerable, sit with messiness and not clean or clear it up, sit with the depths of things and not try to come up with surface level answers, sit in that liminal space of contrary answers with no solution or resolution, and realize that that space is okay, and more than that, that space can provide a depth of answers and understanding that tidy brain-friendly solutions never can or will… that is a person of depth, of creation, in step with source.
I have become increasingly aware of so many illusory patterns lately– both in my life as well as in the outer world. In order to simply be, to grow more “into myself” I have let go of control again and again (and again and again) and have found myself in a place of confronting that inner anxiety that wants answers, that ground swelling of fear that would like easy resolutions and times and answers to everything my small brain (ego/mind) can think to ask. But letting go of that control, that need for control in easy answers to assuage that underlying fear has allowed for me to recognize more and more the power of the space of the unknown. And of being okay in this space, and allowing it to teach me as much as the space of the “known” has taught me. Everything is a source of beauty in this world, and this space of not knowing, or no resolution, is yet another source.