Monthly Archives: November 2015

The Three Levels of Power

I talk about the concept of power quite a bit with clients and in my blogs, so I thought I would devote a whole blog to simply describing (as best as I can) what power is and how it is achieved.

First things first, though… we have a lot of loaded energy around the word “power” when it comes to spiritual practices. I remember one of my beginning teachers saying that “sorcerers” hungered after “power”– as if it was the mark of someone doing bad things, evil things to utilize power, or to even want power.

I realized later that this is one of those divisive tactics that is so common in modern-day spiritual communities. If you never find your own power, you always need the power of someone else… like a teacher or guru. 

If you actually find your power, or if on your spiritual quest you actually find what you are looking for (going from seeker to sought) you don’t need to buy the latest books, go to workshops, follow a teacher around and quote them. You can think and do and be for yourself.

And this frightens teachers. Some teachers, anyway.

Because there are teachers out there who have amassed a great following, and if those people are healed, if those people find their own power, their following dwindles. Some of these teachers have not come up with a new thought or idea for a long time, and keep on publishing the same ideas over and over… and people buy them again and again. It is rare that people notice that most “self-help” or “shamanic” books are largely the same as one another, all repeating the same things… and most are sorely lacking in any “how-to’s”– any techniques or actually telling you how you can achieve what they have supposedly.

But back to talking about power.

Power is considered to be a sort of dirty word, as if we are wrong if we want power… like we will suddenly turn into Voldemort or whomever the current cultural villainous sorcerer is if we do.

But power is who we are. If we fully are who we are, if we understand who we are, if we totally and completely know who we are we have achieved power.

And in any form of spiritual work, cultivation of power begins with the self (the first level, if you will). If you do not know how to cultivate power within yourself (there are lots of methods of this out there from self-enquiry to qigong to reiki to nature hikes) you are somewhat stunted in terms of how much spiritual growth you can have. You can only achieve so much, learn so much in the spiritual realms if you have no concept of who you are and have not cultivated your own power.

And again, cultivating your own power takes time. It takes effort. It will not happen tomorrow if you start today. But even if you are starting today, picking a self-cultivation method and sticking with it, learning how to truly understand who you are and the energy dynamics within your own body… understand how you energetically, physically, and spiritually are interacting with the Universe… it is a step in the right direction.

The second level of power is considered “dark work”. It is a crucial step that most people skip over to the more “shiny” third level. It is learning how to work with the Earth, understanding the dynamics of the Earth and its inhabitants. It is learning how to work with the ancestors (as a general concept) as well as your ancestors.

This again takes time. We do not forge spiritual relationships overnight. Going out into the woods and speaking to or sitting by a tree is wonderful. But after ten years of speaking to trees, you have enough connection and understanding to know when you are self-creating (what you want to hear, what you want to experience and mentally creating that) and when you can actually feel the vibration of the Earth, the essence of “dark” energies flowing through you.

Each source of power has an essence, a flow, a current. It is by deeply entering into that current that we achieve power. 

Any time that we have power, that we come into contact with power, it is a palpable thing. We feel the vibration of it, the current. We may feel a slightly elevated sense of energy when talking to ourselves (self-creating), but this is nothing like being in the full current of power… of having energies be so strong around you that you can feel their emanations, their vibrations through you.

The third “layer” of power is working with the “heavens”, meaning deities, angelic presences, and elevated guides (such as the collective, ascended masters, etc).

And not to get too complicated, but there is sort of a 2.5 (or 3.5, depending on the energy) layer of connecting to elevated energies of a completely different vibration such as energy fields, ET’s, and assorted other-worldly beings (not elementals, they are in the “Earth” layer/second layer).

And not to get even more complicated, but after the layers you can just emanate and be with Source energy. But if you have not worked with the three layers, chances are your experience of pure Source energy is heavily filtered. You have not had the self-cultivation, or done the work to be able to directly interface with Source… (and yes, even if you are naturally sensitive, awake, have in a past life, etc… in fact, it is even more important to learn the tools and have the ability to cultivate energy if you do have natural power given to you by other sources).

Most people get interested in the third layer before the first two. And what happens is that they typically are self-creating, they aren’t tapping into that source of power. If you do not know yourself, if you have not self-cultivated your own power (layer one), if you have not connected to your lineage of power/ancestors that run through your blood, and to the energies of the Earth and World (second layer) it is rare that you will be able to work with the third layer in depth.

Some people are able to, by the way, for a variety of complex reasons I won’t get into here. But even for those people, if you are truly contacting something in the third layer, this is a massive source of power. Meaning microwave blowing up, house shaking, earth shaking types of energies. Meaning that the first time (or first many, many times) that you contact energies like this you are likely to be “blown out” – a term meaning basically that your senses are so overstimulated that you either black out or are unable to function for a period of time.

It is a lot of power, basically. And until you have created power through the first few layers (especially self-cultivation) you will not be able to understand it or work with it fully.

Until you reach that point, you are likely working with archetypes and sub-personalities. These have power, by the way. They are part of self-cultivation (level one). We all need to integrate, to understand who we are, to understand our own power. We disassociate from our own power, and it is easier for us to see an “outer” archangel than to think that we actually have power. So the archetypal relationships are important– they are part of us understanding our own power. But they are not separate from us (but still very important, as I have stated).

So why achieve power? If you want to work on a spiritual path, especially if you wish to become a spiritual worker, your trade is power. Meaning that in a more mundane way if you are in a bar and are 5’2″ and have never exercised a day in your life and want to fight someone who is 6’2″ and has five black belts, you likely are in a huge amount of trouble.

But I don’t want to fight? You say. I get that… but there are so many beings and energies out there that are looking for openings in people, especially those who are are spiritual workers. The amount of trickster energies and beings and other energies I have released from spiritual workers who were not aware of their presence (or just knew something weird was going on) because they did not have the appropriate power level to do the work, the self-cultivation path traversed, the proper tools to know how to clear themselves after working… let’s just say it is a lot.

If we want to go below the surface we need to achieve depth. Most people are at the surface layers of consciousness, of their spiritual path… even if they have been on a spiritual path for a long time. Despite the workshops, the large amounts of money spent, they are still parroting their teacher and his/her words, they still are looking for power outside of themselves. They haven’t learned how to actually think, act, or be for themselves, and have not learned who they are. The amount of “shamanic practitioners” I have worked with who have no idea who they are is still astonishing to me. I regularly talk to people who only want to hear what I have to think about their situation. I have no problem letting people know what I think, but my purpose in working with people is to get them the tools so they don’t need people like me except for specific situations. But they have spent so much time and money on seeking the outer they have no concept of the inner… and are often incredibly resistant to layer one (or two for that matter).

If we want to do spiritual work, or have a deep spiritual path, we need to have some power. To be safe, to stop self-creating, but also to simply be able to interact with specific energies or worlds. If we do not have power, we do not gain entry. If we do not have power, we only achieve a certain depth in the spiritual realms. If we do not have power, we can only do so much, basically. If we do not have power, we will be unable to interact with certain energies, and they will have limited interest in us. As we gain power, the amount of spiritual experiences we have increases (and gets much, much weirder by the way) and the more we are able to interact with energies and beings that were not willing or were unable to interact with us before.

And what’s more, if we have power, our work and our lives get much simpler (in a lot of ways, and in other ways get more complex). My work has gone from extremely complex to very simple. I no longer have this huge urge to seek, which is helpful financially but also on a soul level I don’t have that emptiness that always makes me look for the next thing… I no longer have that sort of quest that I once did. This is not saying I do not have a huge amount of work to do, but the “seeker” mentality, the idea that I need to know more or be more is no longer a factor in my life.

And many people are fine at the surface. It is safe there– we like safety, we like control. To venture beyond this is to realize that we only have so much safety and control.. that we only know so much. I always know how fake a guru/teacher/etc is when they talk about how they know the totality of the cosmos (or about death, what happens after death, has every answer spiritually, etc).

I am not telling people to move beyond what they are ready for. People are where they are, and they will do what they are ready for if and when the time comes. But if anyone is looking for depth, for power, they can find it… with patience, with readiness, and with finding a simple tool (or two) and sticking with it for a period of time.

Getting Lost in the World(s)

It is not unusual for me to talk to people who say they feel stuck or lost in their lives. They may feel dizzy, out of body, or simply out of sorts.

For some of these people, there may be an actual part of them that is lost elsewhere.

A lot of people think of astral or etheric travel (where a portion of you or one of your energetic “bodies”) goes to other places (simply put) as a conscious thing, something that they may have read books about to learn how to do.

But far more people do this naturally. They do it without realizing that they do. 

Most people are familiar with the concept of Soul Retrieval– the idea that a part of you has disassociated/left as a result of trauma. I do not believe for this to be quite true, but that is another blog you can read here

But parts of you can leave not because they are traumatized but simply because they can.

Although this can be a difficult concept to explain (as many spiritual concepts are) there are parts of you that are likely more “awake” than others. There are parts of some people (due to past lives or ancestry most typically) that have more latent power and spiritual abilities/understandings than others. These parts of you are not likely conscious. But these aspects of you may travel in dreams (most common) or when awake. They may travel anywhere– from different parts of our world to different planes to different worlds.

In fact, many people talk about spiritual concepts not really aware of the fact that they are talking about a place. Most people who talk about a “dark night of the soul” or “being in the abyss” do not realize that these are spiritual places that we can inadvertently wander to and get lost. 

So the real question is what to do about this…

The first realization here is to recognize where you are, where all of you is. If you feel scattered energetically (feeling cloudy, dizzy, not all together, spacey) there may be a good reason for it.

If you know that you “travel” it is your responsibility to get the training and skills that you need so it can be a conscious thing that you do. So you know how to do it with skill. So you don’t get stuck or partially stuck if you journey or go somewhere (either consciously or not).

If you feel like you have latent power (a subject of another blog on power I will be doing soon) it is also your responsibility– to figure out how to work with it. Until you do it will be a stumbling block for you. There are a fair amount of people out there who have latent power causing all sorts of issues for them and they have no conscious understanding of why so many odd things happen to them.

And if you do not know how to sort something out yourself, or you find yourself saying things like “I feel like I am in a wasteland with no water” or that “I feel so blank in a space filled with nothingness” or “I feel like I am trapped alive in a coffin” or “I feel like I am in a deep dark abyss” realize that those are places that a talented spiritual worker can help you leave. A spiritual worker can find you, wherever you might be, and bring you home… As long as you want to come home (this is, of course, another story).

There are so many places and parts of us that can travel to some odd places. Most of us do this inadvertently, and have no conscious understanding of it, beyond reporting strange dreams to places you have never seen that feel oddly real or not about you (and not about your psychology). Learning about your individual skills and gifts (and being able to travel is an ability that some people naturally have more than others) and how to use them with safety is essential. Becoming aware of them is essential. Knowing how to call yourself back home is essential.

We all should be as “home” as we can be, with our dominant energies focused on this lifetime and our current human form, no matter who we believe or know ourselves to be. If this is not happening we cannot fully enjoy our lives to the full extent that we could. By bringing all of ourselves into the present, and learning the skills we need to to do so, we can bring our skills and abilities into our current lives and day-to-day realities. By becoming conscious and skilled we can achieve a lot in this world, and deeply understand ourselves, where we are, and what we individually bring to this world.

If you feel called to work with me, you can contact me here.


Healing Karma (and the Role of the Persecutor)

Throughout our perhaps long, winding path of healing ourselves we have come to understand that we have been victimized many times.

This is not an illusion. We have all experienced trauma, difficult situations, and have been in a state of real victimhood– being held captive by a persecutor or two who has caused us real, irreparable harm.

It is incredibly important to heal these inner victims– and to reconcile the harm that has befallen us. If we do not, we are still victims in our own lives, consistently feeling persecuted against by those that surround us (as well as the world).

If we do not heal our inner victim, we act out our patterns of victimhood again and again unconsciously, unknowingly… Whatever our pain and own unique brand of chaos, we act it out with the people and circumstances that surround us until we are able to heal it.

But a funny thing happens the more you heal your victimhood state(s), all of those past incidents in which you have had harm come against you because you were too young, or the force or circumstances were too great for you to bear.

Some of us, if we are willing, begin to understand and reconcile the times we were a persecutor, in which we have made victims of those around us.

It is a difficult thing to reconcile. We in fact have no issue thinking and acting out our victimhood state, the idea that we were wounded or hurt by another is not really news to us, and we are all too willing to accept it.

But the idea that we have harmed others, through our actions, our thoughts, and our emotions most of us cannot process. Or are not willing to.

And this is where karma comes in.

We can get into philosophical debates about karma if you like, but I will say what my understanding and direct experience of karmic patterns are. 

As I have mentioned in the past, I spent a great deal of time steeped in intellectualism and actually with each year, or month really, that passes I am less and less interested in sitting around and talking about such constructs. I don’t see much point in it… I would rather “do”: practices, work with others, and develop healing methods that are effective and practical… and I would rather “be”: meaning that I have little interest in questioning every thing that comes into my life, because I really have no idea what is happening to me about 70 percent of the time spiritually, even still.

So there are many understandings of karma, but here are my basics… In a past incarnation or through a past family member/part of our ancestral lineage there was an action that took place, complete with beliefs and understandings, emotions, and a story behind that action.

This action was so “large”– meaning that it had consequences– that it had a ripple effect down through your lives or through your ancestry.

And what is most important, is that if we trace this back far enough, that the originator of the karma was in fact not a victim, but a persecutor. 

This is important to understand. Again, we have no issue treking through our past lives, our ancestry (well most of us at a certain point don’t, but I am always surprised still when people want to argue with a spiritual worker that their family, ancestry can impact them.. but I digress) to tell the story of our victimhood, how we have been harmed. Again, this is important work to heal.

But the originator of our karma is, in most cases, someone who caused difficulty, chaos, and harm to another.

And we experience this pattern in our next incarnations until we heal it.

So this can present a few ways. And I will use an example here, to be clear.

A woman came to me feeling like she always needed to hide, that there was danger in her showing herself. She wanted consciously to be seen, but her whole life she felt invisible, was treated as invisible, and had difficulty speaking, being heard, and in fact showing up in any sort of way to her life.

She had many reasons for this from her own lifetime. Severe childhood abuse, a naturally shy disposition, psychic abilities and sensitivities that caused her to feel that the world was a chaotic place to be.

But she also had many past lives in which she needed to be hidden– wars, famines, and the sort of lives where it was in fact dangerous for her to be seen, because being seen meant that she would be raped, killed, sent to war or a death camp.

This was all important healing, and as we worked with this she came out of her shell, and was able to be seen for the first time in her life– at work, finding a partner and fulfilling sexual relationship, and so forth.

But as we worked she realized that she had a past life, and an originator of this pattern. This originator was someone who had been essentially a soldier who was responsible for sealing people up in catacombs, and trying to find people who escaped into those catacombs. He didn’t want to do this, and felt a bit of guilt, but it was either cooperating with those in charge or having harm come to himself.

I am talking about this person because this understanding is fairly typical, if we are willing to go to this depth in our own consciousness.

Most of us are not. We are not ready, willing, or able to think of ourselves in the “persecutor” role, whether it be from our own lifetime, and the karma we are accumulating from the various actions, thoughts, and realizations that we are going to pass on to our next incarnation(s) or down our family line, or from our past lives or ancestry passed to our current incarnation.

It takes a real depth of consciousness, a real willingness to fully heal, to work through patterns like this.  It also requires going beyond the surface levels, and stopping to realize that the “spiritual teachers” and “healers” who are suggesting that you can clear karma by waving your hands around or chanting their mantra, or any method that allows for us to simply, neatly, and clearly cut away our karma without understanding it or reconciling it may not know what they are talking about.

Until we reconcile what happened, we can only heal so much. Until we take personal responsibility, fully and with great courage, we can only heal so much.

We are all so used to the victimhood state, and that is important, if not essential to heal. In fact, it must be healed first, and often for a long period of time. But some people are ready to move beyond that, to really heal the root reasons of why they unconsciously move through patterns, why they are acting out these patterns with specific people in their lives, why there is so much unspoken energy between you and another when it just doesn’t make sense given the context of your lifetime.

For those willing to go to those depths, you can truly release patterns like this. To free yourself from not only the victim but the persecutor. To no longer be unconsciously moving through your life, through your relationships, with unspoken energy pressed on you from various incarnations and karmic energies.

It just requires a person of depth, and of courage, and of readiness.

If you are interested in releasing karmic energies, old contracts, various victimhoods, and/or even the persecutor, you can contact me… I will say that many people are not ready for this type of healing, and it is in our nature to jump to the most advanced thing we can think of (from A to Z, as the saying goes) without working with anything in the middle. Some of the middle needs to be worked with, and this work is typically for people who have been on a healing path for quite a while. But you can contact me with interest, and we can work with whatever energies show up for you to heal, and at whatever level you are ready to heal them.

Can We Ever Truly Get Over Trauma?

As a clinician, I have held space for people who have been through some terrible things. Rapes, incest, electrocutions, war, bombings, terrorist attacks, famine, starvation, persecution, and all sorts of violence and harm that this world can bring… often from the people that were intended to keep us safe and to tell us that the world is a safe place to be.

I have been told in the past that no matter how deep the trauma, no matter how horrible the trauma that we can heal fully.

Lately I have been thinking about this, and if this is in fact true. It is a good PR line, isn’t it? It is what we truly want to believe… that no trauma is insurmountable, that we can go from being broken to being healed. That no matter what we have experienced we can go back to the way things were, and that we just need to simply let go of the emotions and pain associated with the experience, to “erase our story”, to gather up the parts of self that have disassociated or wandered off, and to move on.

My objective here is not to be a pessimist, but a thoughtful realist about this subject. I truly think we can heal. We can heal so much from really difficult circumstances. And I am talking about difficult traumas here– meaning the sort of darkness and even evil that can be visited on some of us.

I am not talking about every-day trauma here… we all have trauma, and by looking at the spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional aspects of it we can heal.

I am talking about the type of darkness that some of us know all too well- the deep dark family secret, severe childhood neglect, plane crashes, famine, incest, murder of a loved one… I could go on, but my point I feel has been made.

When we experience these types of events they change us at our core. They imprint us. There are some imprints that can clear, that can be cleared, there are so many events that can be healed and worked with… but there are some events that create such a chasm that they cannot be healed fully, nor should they be, really.

Let me explain. Even if we have experienced something truly terrible in our lives, we can officially heal. We can forgive everyone involved, release the emotion(s) involved in the event, and not want to change anything about what happened. We can move beyond blindly repeating the patterns from the trauma– the beliefs and behaviors that have been ingrained in us from a trauma. It happened, and it happened to us, and we have accepted that, and have moved on.

This is official healing. All of those things I listed– basically what healing is is not being “okay” with everything, but releasing everything and everyone to the extent that there is no reason for any part of us to be stagnant there, to constantly be retelling the story again and again in our minds (or to others) as a loop.

And more than that, we no longer feel the need to change anything. It was horrible, it was difficult, but we accept that it has happened and no longer have the “what if’s” and the “if only” or the type of rage, powerlessness, or grief that hangs over our former selves who experienced this.

But we can have officially “healed”, we can have no part of ourselves spiritually lingering at the event, we can take the loop apart, we can mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually heal from this event… and we can still be technically “unhealed”.

What does this mean? It means that there are certain events in our lives that change us. They change us physiologically. They change us mentally. They change our very spiritual makeup.

If we have been harmed by another, or by the world we now have the understanding and the direct experience that the world or other people have that ability to harm us. If we have directly experienced evil, or devastation, panic, hunger, or fear to the point that we can physiologically recall it, there is no denying that these things exist. We can have new-age gurus tell us that “evil” doesn’t exist all they want, if we have directly experienced it we know to the depths of our soul that it does.

These events create a spiritual imprint. This can be seen in your field– they actually look like stamps. Faces, snapshots of events, and the type of energy someone who has witnessed or been a part of a cataclysmic event has in their field without exception.

We can talk about “clearing” or “releasing our story” or whatever the new spiritual trend is all we want… there are some events that change us. They change who we are. And it doesn’t mean that we are unhealed, it means that we have the direct experience and knowledge of something, a depth of knowledge of something, that few people know.

It makes us into an odd sort of club. And before this gets way too dark, I will say again that it is possible to heal from things, to really and truly not want the events of our past to change, no matter what they were. To let go of the emotions, and the pain, and whatever else is there from it.

But people who have known this type of pain, these type of events have a depth to their soul that cannot be erased. And this, believe it or not, is a good thing. It is a rare thing. It means that you have a depth of understanding about the world, about yourself, and about the nature of things that few do (or would want to). It means that if you are able to get to that healed state that you can hold space, bear witness, and help others who are struggling to get to that place of healing…

Because people who have experienced this naturally gravitate towards one another. They may not see the “stamp”, but they will understand that you have had this depth of experience. In some cases this creates further difficulty, as people still in the “chaos” portion of their unhealed states may gravitate towards another, but in other cases this can create people who can truly help others figure out their suffering, to heal in a way that only someone who has borne witness to this type of event can.

It is not easy to look out on the world after experiences like this. To realize that no matter what you do that the experience will always be with you. But the type of person who has experienced this has a depth of their soul that few others have, and can be of service to others who are their journey to healing in a way that most other healers, clinicians, teachers (or insert job here) cannot. We cannot bear witness to another’s pain if we have not seen it ourselves. 

For clarity, I do not mean even the same type of pain here.. the same sort of event. But if you have known the world and suffering with a certain depth of soul, it can facilitate a very deep path for yourself, and can allow for you to eventually be of service to others who are walking that same path in a way few can. It is a beautiful thing, to heal, and to be of service. One naturally extends into the other, whether we take on the label of “healer” or we are simply there for friends, or for family who will look to us for the type of depth-of-soul advice and support only someone who has been there can provide.