Monthly Archives: October 2015

Letting go of the Goddess

A woman twirls around a circle with twelve other friends and acquaintances surrounding her. Wearing a thin, gauzy dress with a scarf over her head and a single flower in her hair, she dances in a sort of light trance. She feels supported, joy, and the community around her. Temporarily gone are the thoughts of papers she needs to grade, the emails she needs to answer, and feelings of the impending work day on Monday.

So what is wrong with this picture? It sounds lovely, it in fact can be lovely, and takes place in spiritual communities all the time. Women getting together to act the role of goddess… to dance, eat, and enjoy the company of others who also seek to act the same role.

In some spiritual communities, the idea of drawing in a goddess, or essentially acting out the role of a specific archetype or idea of goddess is done. In rare cases, the separate energy of an archetype or deity is actually drawn in, but in most cases, it is the woman acting out a role in the safety of a sacred community.

So on its surface, there is nothing wrong with this. It makes people feel better about themselves and inspires community. It takes people away from their mundane lives of children and grocery stores and allows for them to dress up in pretty clothes, put flowers in their hair, and to participate in a celebration to make themselves feel better.

But this is just for a moment, and then that moment ends. 

The difficulty with this is that it is play-acting, and it is something considered separate from our daily lives.

Real spiritual work has power. Real spiritual ceremonies have power. People rarely believe this until they have direct experience of it. The difficulty is that most spiritual circles are devoid of any sort of power. Most spiritual ceremonies are devoid of any sort of power.

Many people who know me know I started out going to “core” shamanic classes. I would feel elevated energy, sure, but once you have seen someone “ridden” or “mounted” by an actual spirit, an actual deity or goddess and then go back to the ceremonies of women sharing wine and twirling and acting out hollow ceremonies, the latter will seem like the strange play it is.

I am sure that I will get a lot of flak from people about this, about the fact that once I moved away from this sort of new-age fluff, ceremony, and sort of bubble that I came in touch with power that scared me (at times) and saw and experienced things that I never thought possible, but it is true… and once you experience real power, real spirit, and have direct experiences of a spiritual nature, the hollow acting that many people do in all sorts of ceremonies (not just Goddess ones) is abundantly evident.

But this is actually not my difficulty with the Goddess ceremonies. I think it is fine if people want to act, if people find comfort in this sort of acting, and are largely ignorant that there is anything more powerful or substantial out there.

A lot of people will not come into contact with anything of real spiritual import in their lives, and go to ceremony after ceremony, workshop after workshop, creating their experiences out of psychological need rather than really interfacing with any spiritual power. Because spiritual power would likely scare the crap out of them, the idea that there are people and spirits with immense spiritual power out there most people could not process and are not ready for, and most people prefer their self-constructed universes, quite frankly. Many people never go beyond their own mental constructions, and need to have their experiences fit that framework, and the idea of direct experience frightens them. It certainly frightened me at first.

My real difficulty is that in most of these circles (not all) it is still the weekend retreat mentality, meaning that women will go to these circles and experience their “inner goddess” or act out the archetype of the goddess and will go home to their lives basically unchanged.

It is still encouraging a state of separation, basically. A state of mind where we consider the spiritual separate (and not a part of our daily lives) so that we do not have to have the spiritual, or anything we choose to do in our circles and workshops, affect our daily lives. Most of us do not like change, and so we go to our workshops to feel this community, or some elevated energy and go home, thinking about the next circle or community.

We do not consider that this elevated energy could be a part of our existence, that we could be a goddess in our daily lives, not just on weekend retreats.

And more than that, that we do not need to be goddesses. As women, we are good enough to simply be who we are. We do not need to rely on exterior constructs, to turn into a sex goddess or some archetype of beauty or goddess-ness that we can never achieve in our daily lives.

We can uncover who we truly are, and do this in our daily lives, and that is more than enough.

No play acting, no weekend retreats, no hollow ceremonies, no fluffy pillows and billowing robes and headbands made out of flowers.

If we took the time to uncover our own femininity, our own essence of who we are, we wouldn’t need to act. We wouldn’t need to draw anything in, and it wouldn’t be limited to the circle, to the weekend retreat, to the ceremony. We could be who we fully are in our daily lives and not need to be or feel or draw in anything else– because to do so (in most cases) is essentially saying that who we are is not good enough, what we are isn’t good enough. We could let go of societal expectations and framework of what a woman is supposed to be, even our own creations and archetypes and mental constructs of the Goddess.

We could let go of the Goddess, and become who we really and truly are.


Therapy, Medication, Kundalini, and Spiritual Awakening

So I occasionally get asked by someone to talk about my feelings of “standard treatments” and Spiritual Awakenings, such as Kundalini awakenings.

I am generally a reasonable person, and so my response to the person is that each person is individual and must do what is right for themselves in their own life. Which is the truth. I am not you, and I cannot decide if therapy, hospitalization, medication, and so forth is the right trajectory for you. Sometimes it is. But what is more often the case is that the current treatment options for anyone who is acting out of the “ordinary” and admits to it, or is not functional in their daily lives is medication and/or hospitalization. Basically, if it is not physical, it is mental.

That is where we are as a society, and where we still are in terms of treating diseases. Our society as a whole is just now really (well maybe for the last decade or two) understanding that mind and body are connected, and their are a gamut of new-age authors who were former doctors (or something like that) who say that they truly understand the mind-body-spirit and have discovered how they are connected. Most of them are talking about the mind-body connection, and their understandings are really surface but palatable to a wide, mainstream new-age audience who is just discovering the same surface understandings, but I won’t go there in this blog.

Most of the material about spiritual awakenings that has been introduced to a mainstream audience (well, an audience that has been interested in it, so not exactly mainstream) has been through psycho-therapeutic models. Meaning that psychiatrists and psychologists became interested in the subject and have written books, and done studies and programs about it. A lot of this material is still enormously helpful and insightful, by the way, even if it was written decades ago by this point. I do not wish to castigate this material, suggest it is not important, or that it is not essential readings and understandings for anyone going through a spiritual awakening.

But the psychotherapeutic model has its limitations.

Mainly because it considers anything deviating from “normal behavior”– meaning anything that the “normal” sleeping person (the person that just goes about their life in the repeated behavior/loops and is under a lot of conditioning and never really questions it, or gets upset if they have to) wouldn’t do is considered aberrant behavior because it diverges from that state. Meaning that anyone who is actually going through a spiritual awakening has something wrong with them because they are not acting or living their lives how a “normal” person should act.

There are all sorts of words for this– Qi gong sickness, or Meditation Related Problems, or Problems Related to Spiritual Practice. All diagnosable (some questionable diagnoses by the mainstream of psychiatry still, by the way) issues.

The difficult with this is that the Spiritual Awakening process is an aberration, but it doesn’t mean that something is wrong. In fact, it often means that something is really right. That someone is awakening beyond conditioned reality. And what happens is that the psychotherapeutic model defines this aberration as wrong, bad, medication or hospitalization worthy so that the person can return to “normal”– meaning the sleeper state.

I have read countless studies, for example, of well meaning physicians who became interested in “meditation related problems” who have blamed meditation for the cause of the issues presenting. In some cases it very much is an issue, by the way… we tend to focus on meditations that are too advanced for us (going from A to Z in one leap), make contact with spiritual truths that are too much for us to process, or focus on meditations that open us up psychically (open your third eye!) without processing any of our lower chakra stuff first. But even in those cases, what the person needs is someone to help them process, not someone to diagnose them and put them back to sleep.  

And many times, even if it is the “wrong” meditation, what is actually happening is this… the person is going through an Awakening. It is uncomfortable. It is causing physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual issues. It is causing the person to become non-functional in their daily lives, or to realize that their former, sleeping lives are not who and what they want to be now. 

And this is certainly an aberration– a deviation from the norm. But we have a tendency to want to put back to sleep anything that is uncomfortable, anything that causes pain or dis-ease or difficulty in our lives. 

And many times what is happening in spiritual awakening is a healing process. A rapid, uncomfortable, healing process. 

But that is not how it is treated in the psycho-therapeutic model. 

We are so used to medicating anything that makes us feel. Any emotions that are coming up (and there will be a lot in the awakening process) that we cannot define as “our own” are treated as dysfunctions, and something to be medicated or treated.

This is because psychotherapeutic methods have only “awakened” to the family system level. It is still news, and not accepted– that ancestral patterns, past lives, societal, world, cosmic patterns (for example, there are others… you can read about them in my book) live within us and can be expressed, processed, worked through. So when someone is coming upon a pile of rage, or a huge amount of grief that does not come from early childhood, psychotherapeutic practitioners do not (by and large) have the knowledge to know how to identify these patterns or work with them. So typically what happens is that the person under their care will go through therapy (talk therapy) to go over their early childhood again and again to solve the mental aspects of this (which certainly can be helpful) or to give the person some tools to help them in their daily lives be a bit more functional… or in some cases medication or being told they will “just have to live” with things.

Because most psychotherapeutic practitioners typically have a great deal of ignorance about the spiritual awakening process, or about anything beyond early childhood type trauma or energies. Some do, by the way, and are exploring ancestral work (family constellations) or spiritual awakening (transpersonal, some jungian, for example) but even many of those still define the spiritual awakening process not as a process of growth, of unfolding, and of healing… but of one of deviation from societal norms that must be stopped. 

We do not like to feel, to experience, to grow. Growth can be painful, it can be brutal in fact. And our current society, our current cultural mindset is to make anything painful, out-of-the ordinary, or difficult simply go away. To sweep it under the rug, to put it back to sleep, to drug, drink, and screw it away until we no longer remember our existential pain.

SO I WILL SAY WITH A LOT OF CAVEATS: I am not a physician, I am not a therapist. I personally do not find those models helpful, and never particularly have. Personally, I have needed much more work on a spiritual level vs. a mental level, and have worked far beyond the context of any early childhood pain that I have experienced… and don’t feel the need to talk about it much anymore.

BUT I WILL SAY THIS: There currently is not a model in place to keep people in Spiritual Emergency safe. This is, unfortunately, the hospital systems and psychotherapeutic models. It is the limitations of our current cultural mindset that causes this. But I digress. There are some points in the spiritual awakening process that someone may need hospitalization or medication or they will harm themselves, or someone else. They are so broken down that they need someone to watch over them, and their family or friends are not able to.

I very much understand this. I also wish it was different, but for people who are in such a state of emergency, this is their only option, and it is often life-saving.

The difficulty with this option is that it goes on your “record” and you are given medication. Medication that is hard to titrate off of (despite what clinicians might say, all anti-depressants and/or anti-psychotics are extremely difficult to work your way off of, some more than others… but Acupuncture can really help with this by the way if you are wanting to do so in concert with your physicians knowledge). Once you are on medication it is intended to be for the long-term, and you are also expected to be in therapy for a long time (typically).

All of these methods may be life-saving, but medication in particular stops the spiritual awakening process. It just does– again, some more than others (I work with plenty of people on medication, by the way, and don’t pass judgement on people who are taking it, as I have mentioned, these are simply my thoughts). This may be exactly what you want or need if you are reading this, by the way. I do understand that, I have compassion for that. I talk to people weekly who I tell truthfully that I cannot help– they are too far gone into an emergency state that they need someone local (at the very least) because I work through teaching people tools and understandings to work through their stuff, and if they are not in a place to be able to process something (or anything) that I say, there isn’t much, quite frankly, that I can do.

My last caveat (I promise): Again, I am not a physician, but as someone who has gone through a difficult process I know that one of the biggest difficulties in this world is that people think that their own experiences, their own opinions and insights need to be had by everyone else. Basically, what this means is that (like I mentioned above) I do not personally suggest medication for people going through Spiritual Awakening, and I think that therapy is helpful only to a certain limited point (see limitations above) because the Spiritual Awakening process is spiritual, not mental… But I am not you. I cannot decide for you what you should do with your life. You can read my thoughts to family members of people going through Spiritual Awakening here, but I am not living your life and cannot decide what the right trajectory for you is. I am the first to acknowledge that hospitals can be life-saving. That is what they are there for. If you are at that point, that might be the best decision for you. But if you are not, you may want to consider things a bit more deeply.

Ideally, some day there will be treatment centers focused on giving people who are experiencing Spiritual Awakenings a place to really process what is coming up for them… instead of pushing it back down to the depths of their subconscious (Anyone want to give me funding for this?) But until that day, we must live in a world that all of us have co-created, and do the best that we can. There are ways to work with Spiritual Awakenings so they are not treated as a diagnosable process, an aberration, or something to be put back to sleep. There really are. The Spiritual Awakening process, despite its difficulty, allows for you to release what is not whole– what is broken, traumatized, and conditioned in you– so you can awaken to who you truly are. Just imagine if we could have that basic understanding… or if the whole world could (or at least the allopathic world could).

If you are interested in working with me, you can contact me

Critical Thinking, Conscious Thought, and Letting go of Reactions to the Sleeping World

There was a time in my life when I was in a state of despair– the sort of existential crisis that spiritual awakening, or traversing a spiritual path with depth– creates. I looked out on the world and saw darkness, I saw the diseases and imbalances and masks and lack of truth that people carried with them. I saw the conditioning that they were under, and how they reacted unthinkingly, and unconsciously, and based on fear and other emotions rather than any type of clarity.

At this point I was actually well paid for seeing this, and had made it my career. People came to me for body work, for energy work, and for spiritual healing and I was able to see right through them– to see the blockages, pain, and diseases that their body and soul had made. I still do this, I still have this capability, but it no longer creates a state of angst for me.

At a certain point in my path I looked outward and all I could see was falseness. I could see my own patterns and blockages and that of the world. I could see how people were acting in a sort of play, and most of them did not realize that they were actors in their own lives.

This was a difficult crisis to reconcile, as it required me to switch my vantage point.

But what does this actually mean? It means that I sat with this pattern, this realization, this darkness. I didn’t chase it away, I didn’t tell it that it was wrong, or angry, or react to it based off of it making me feel isolated, based off of it making me want to isolate. I sat with it to understand it, to offer it my ear, to finally listen to it.

And it told me that people are doing the best they can, or the best they think they can. That I am doing the best I can, or think I can. We all are doing the best we can, or more accurately, we think we can.

The more I realized this, the better I was able to interact with others, to see where they were coming from, and to offer them compassion. We all are doing the best we can, or the best we think we can.

And more than that I am able to look out at the world and see people awakening, claiming their inner light, and realizing who they are. To go beyond what has been given to them or created for them by various sources. To want to heal and become more whole. Most of us struggle with this– we are so used to our own creations, the illusions we are under, the play that we are in, and the thoughts and understandings we have been given.

It is a rare and beautiful quality when we are able to consciously and critically think.

Because many of us simply are not capable of it. Without realizing it we think the thoughts of our father and mother, of the wounds and patterns of our past lives and ancestry, what society wishes and creates for us to think, repeat the thoughts and ideas of our teachers and gurus (who rarely have created such thoughts themselves), and allow for our minds to create a reality based on our fears, the above patterns, and what we already know to be “true”.

We unconsciously look for words, ideas, and teachers that can placate us, that can keep us who and what we are. That fit what our mind requires to feel safe– to not grow, to not unfold or move forward. This is why there is such popularity with certain teachers who tell us that all we need to do is to think positively and we will have a new car, that if we “awaken” we will be an immortal millionaire in perfect health, that there is no such thing as evil, and that if something bad happens to someone, they on some level must have asked for it.

We have a plethora of teachers out there who are more than willing to cater to this, and who are willing to make simplistic, easy to digest mentally one-for-one associations (what a particular “power” animal means, if you have thyroid issues you must hate yourself, and so forth) that will allow for us to not think at all critically about what the events, symbols, and ideas that are coming into our lives mean.

I will illustrate this with an example that not many people are aware of. Many people are aware that Reiki, an energy healing modality, did not originally have to do with the chakras. But the chakras themselves were standardized in the “rainbow” format by Christopher Hills (in the late 70’s, early 80’s I believe) through his book Nuclear Evolution. Before that time, and by the accounts of many people who can actually see the chakras and the energy bodies that surround us, the chakras do not have a ROYGBIV (rainbow) format at all (actually a really good representation of what actual clairvoyants see is Dora Kunz’ The Personal Aura if you can still get your hands on it– it shows how all energy fields and their colors are different based on thoughts, experiences, and imprints of the individual).

But we all believe this to be true. This is what we were taught in our Reiki classes and through basic exploration of the chakras and books about the chakras.

In fact, I have had several natural healers and clairvoyants go to Reiki classes and be told they were seeing “wrong” and what they were doing naturally to heal people was “wrong” because it didn’t fit their teachings, and they came out of the classes confused and much worse healers than they were to begin with. 

So we can see how easily we are taught how not to think and to take up teachings without conscious thought. Now, I know many of you reading this are saying that you are not clairvoyant, and so the idea of seeing the chakras in another manner wouldn’t be possible for you. But you can still have your direct experience of them, however you wish to.

By this I mean that once you learn something, thoroughly and respectfully (always respect teachers, of course) you can “throw out” the teachings and experience for yourself. Does this chakra really seem red? Did what my teacher tell me make sense to me logically? What do I actually think about it?

Because what we are taught comes through the filters of another and their experiences, their beliefs, and more basically… what they were taught. It is often like a bad game of Telephone (the old parlor game where there would be multiple people standing in a row and the original person would say a simple phrase like “monkey eating a banana” and by the time it was passed down to the last person in line it would have turned into “mon senior has a bastien”.

Most of us simply repeat what our teachers say, what we were taught in school, and the patterns and thoughts we have been given. If we come across a thought that doesn’t fit into our proverbial wheelhouse, we either are not able to process it (cognitive dissonance, basically), or we outright reject it with an emotional reaction (either to ourselves, or more frequently, heaping our emotions onto the speaker, teacher, book, etc that has given their thoughts that do not fit into our own constructed universe).

So how to critically think? How to Consciously Think?

This is the real question. Look to your own thoughts and ask what would happen if they were not true. This is not an easy task, so start out asking if what you believe to be true about yourself or about the world could be slightly less “true” than you perceive it to be now.

But practically, read, watch, and see things that are outside of your comfort zone. Read a book you never would otherwise. Since this is a spiritual blog, I will say that a lot of people react when I tell them that I have studied and worked with many religious and spiritual paths– including the occult, magic, Hoodoo, Vodou (this one tends to be the big one), and folk practices from around the world.

Because of what we have been taught we would never educate ourselves on what Vodou actually is. We would never learn that it actually, first and foremost, a beautiful system and path of ancestral worship. We will never learn that the occult is just as concerned with “awakening” as new-age paths are, and that it can offer things that many “shamanic” or “spiritual” paths cannot– such as an understanding of how to work with the energies that comprise the Universe, how to actually communicate with angelic presences (beyond the new-age appropriation of them). How folk magic practices are inherently simple, effective, and can improve our finances, love life, clear energies off of us, and open our “road” so that we can have more ease in our lives.

But most of us will never learn this because we fear what we do not know. I recently read a book on Scientology, which I admittedly have biases towards (especially after watching a documentary about it). I state this because all of us should be continually learning, continually unfolding, continually questioning what we as individuals think and believe, and our inherent biases.

But we can do this in many ways. Go see a movie you wouldn’t normally see, a documentary, go hang out with people from a different culture, class, or religion. Participate in an activity that you have been holding yourself back from experiencing. Find people and thoughts different than you and experience them and let them change what you think. 

Most of us are unable to think beyond ourselves and what we have been given. This means that we surround ourselves with “us” – with the books, gurus, teachers, people, and experiences (food, culture, and pretty much everything) that is within our already created parameters. Much of what is wrong with this world (racially, culturally, financially, politically, and just in general) is this– that we cannot see outside of ourselves and think that the World has to cater to our constructed illusions and beliefs that have been given to us by others.

If we do so, if we are able to do so, we become more conscious. We start to become able to think for ourselves logically. We stop reacting based off of fear, off of emotion. We begin to see the world with clarity. We begin to experience the world with clarity, instead of the unconscious emotional reactions that we normally do. We let go, we release, we become happier, more accepting, and understand more about the world around us.


Psychic Attacks

I approach the subject of psychic attacks with something of a delicate touch. Due to our natures, we often believe the worst to be true, and as many people as can be assisted by openly and honestly approaching a subject like this, there are just as many who have a vested interest for personal reasons in this subject being talked about a specific way.

I will caution that this blog post may cause you to think differently about the world around you, and in particular about this subject. I mention this because if you have a vested interest in thinking about this subject with a rigid cosmology with new-age overtones, a serious introductory discussion about the topic may not be the right thing for you at this time in your life.

By this I mean that nowadays most people (especially in mainstream spirituality and new-age circles) think of the Will as being absolute… and when we talk about something like psychic attacks, those not in the know, or those really not wanting to be in the know will claim that the Will is absolute… and that nobody can attack another person psychically or otherwise without some sort of permission on the receivers part.

Taking this a step further, some people in the mainstream will also state that if someone is genuinely being psychically attacked that it is their fault, and that they must have done something to deserve it.

All of this, of course, preserves the new-ager or spiritual seeker and the safety net that they have created for themselves. If they create such rules for themselves and the Universe, and they venture out of their illusory safety net, or hear of anything else, they will refute it to again return to safety… and in their fear they will blame anyone who is being psychically attacked (or has specific diseases, life happenings, and so forth because they must have attracted them through negative thinking).

This sort of “blame the victim” ideology always bothers me, because if you bother to think about it for a moment these types are blaming homeless, hungry five year olds for not having food and shelter because they must not have thought positively enough, or women (or men) who have been raped or have various medical conditions or spiritual conditions because they must have secretly wanted such occurrences… otherwise they wouldn’t have “magnetized” them to themselves.

All of this is complete bullshit by the way. We certainly have Will, and positive thinking certainly helps, but we are not the center of the Universe (not even the center of our own Universe, really) and we certainly do not have control over every aspect of our lives, spiritually, physically, mentally… or on any other level.

But we love to feel this sense of control, and create vast illusions about it because below the surface we realize that we are not only not in control of the cosmos, but barely can control ourselves with all of the conditioning and fears we are under.

The other reason I hesitate to talk about this is because there are some people who truly wish to think they are being psychically attacked when they should be focused on trauma and inner work which is where their real struggle is. It is easy to blame things on the outer in spiritual culture, and while there are certainly people being psychically attacked (and many of these people may not even know about it), there are also many who will do anything to not deal with their own psyches, blaming outer constructs, demons, and living humans psychically attacking them… and not wanting to hear any different about the situation.

What is the “truth” in my experience is that psychic attacks are fairly common. We live in a sea of energy, of thoughts, and of spirit. These “unseen” energies (I use that in quotes because there are some of us who can see some of them, or a fraction of them) influence us more than we think.

Again, we love to feel like we are in control. But most of us are only aware of a slim fraction of this sea of energy. Even the most psychically inclined and aware of us are only aware of a certain segment of it. When we begin to become aware of how much we are surrounded by, and how we are a very small part and relatively small energy in the cosmic whole, the reaction is one typically of understanding that however much we know, we cannot know everything. This is why I caution so adamantly about “gurus” and “teachers” who claim to know the totality of the cosmos– they do not, and they are typically making up illusions to make themselves and their “followers” feel better. 

But back to psychic attacks…

Generally the most common form of psychic attack is that of thoughts and thoughtforms. Thoughts are things, and some of us are aware of this, or becoming aware of it. When we think negatively about someone, speak poorly about someone, gossip, malign, or become jealous of someone we send them negative energy. If we do this often, or we have a certain amount of spiritual skill this easily turns to spiritual attack. 

Most people who do this have no idea what they are doing. Interestingly, I have been spiritually attacked this way by several new-age “love and light-ers” who had difficulty with the fact that I have studied and work with “darkness” and out of their particular form of typically uptight puritanical construct for what spiritual work entails (complete with misogynistic, and oddly racist overtones sometimes despite their love and light oneness type words). It was not a big deal for me, as I just deflected their words/thoughts towards me, and I harbor no ill will towards them because they really know not what they do, and are just playing at the surface levels of spiritual work where they are comfortable and self-creating for the most part.

But this can do some damage. Again, words are things. The “good” aspect about this form of spiritual attack is that it is rarely strong enough to be physical, meaning that it can affect your mood, your thoughts about yourself, but it rarely affects your energy or physical body enough if you are on the receiving end of this to do anything. Also luckily, in most cases some cording work as well as simple clearing methods work wonders.

The other form of psychic attack is done consciously by someone adept at such things. As much as we would like to believe that our Wills are absolute, they are not… and there are people out there who can and will interfere or even attack others. 

The good news is that these people are fairly rare. Again, most people are at the surface level of things, whether it be in shamanic, spiritual, or magical work, so the chances of you running across someone who will attack you are minimal, especially if you are in new-age circles and simply don’t interact with anyone outside of your own comfort zone. The other good news is that most spiritual practitioners who have any power have no interest in you or attacking you. Really. They don’t– they have much better things to do with their time, and most (not all, of course) are balanced enough to realize that, even if you upset them, that it would be stupid of them to do anything about it, or to waste their time in doing anything about it… even if you really piss them off.

But it does happen. Most people in this world do not have sufficient power, and even the verbal/thoughtform attacks will not take root (and may, at most, interfere with your mind, basically, as a sort of hypnotic suggestion) because their power has not been even minimally developed. When power develops the amount of simple people thinking nasty thoughts about you can be recognized and deflected. But if you are weak, depleted, or simply don’t know much about anything it is a battle of the minds. And the strongest and most aware mind wins.

But in the case of actual psychic attack, where a practice has been done, a pact has been formed between a practitioner and another energy, or the practitioner has developed themselves to a certain point, even their words or thoughts can have a physical impact… let alone any other work they might do against you.

So what does a psychic attack look like? In most cases, as discussed above, a change in mood or an awareness of someone thinking negatively about you may develop. You also may think poorly about yourself, or feel depressed in some way because their thoughts and emotions are overlaying yours (basically).

If we take this a step further, and we are dealing with someone who has a lot of power or know-how, a psychic attack will begin to affect your mind more strongly. Similar to hypnosis, you may begin to believe certain thoughts stemming from someone else. When a strong psychic attack is launched mentally, you may even blank out or have little memory of certain moments (or hours).

Psychic attacks then begin to affect your sleep. For reasons I will not get into here, we are more vulnerable at night. We are most open in our sleep and dreams. Our subconscious will begin to tell us that we are under attack in some way (this is typically what happens first), and then we may begin to have odd dreams that seem frightening or malicious, or awaken tired as if we were in a fight or were active all night (there are other reasons this can happen, just so you are aware).

This is where most things stop, but in rare cases symptoms will continue to escalate…

You may begin to feel a presence with you or sitting on your chest, especially at night. You may have increasingly odd dreams and awaken with bruises or imprints on your skin. You may hear rustling in your bedroom or see shadows around your house at night. Hearing strange sounds, such as bells, whistles, and other noises begins to occur.

You will become increasingly fatigued. Physical symptoms no doctor can figure out will happen (again, many other reasons for this other than psychic attack) and you will feel like sleeping through most of the day. A strong psychic attack will render the person unable to function, or really unable to get out of bed.

So I do not mention this to create a state of fear… Psychic attacks happen, but typically they are of the first sort, with our thoughts and jealousies simply going out in that sea of energy to the other person.

And then typically they are of the second sort, where we have a fractured psyche with a history of abuse or other difficulties and it is much easier to believe that we are being psychically attacked than to heal from the sort of brutal attacks we can do on ourselves in an unhealed state.

But sometimes people are being psychically attacked. It is a real phenomena. It is much more likely to happen, of course, if you are way beyond the surface level of spiritual or shamanic work, witchcraft, or occult/magical studies. When you have a certain amount of power spiritually it emanates from you. It attracts others who have that same power to you, it makes them notice you… and most people really don’t have to worry about this, despite any of their claims to the contrary. On rare occasion, you may upset someone (typically by being an idiot, unfortunately) who has the ability to psychically attack someone… or someone is naturally very talented (typically has power from ancestral sources) who doesn’t realize that their thoughts are going out into the world and creating havoc for the people they are landing on.

By the way, it isn’t because the receiver in these cases isn’t thinking positively enough, and if the attack is strong, they cannot just say that they have will and sovereignty or call on their faith. In many cases, this may work (battle of the minds and such) but in some cases you are dealing with someone who has cultivated their power and has understandings beyond you to the point that they can interfere with your Will, and can attack or overshadow you. 

In rare cases, it is worth mentioning, you have visited a place with an elemental or other energy that is conscious and you will bring it home and it will begin to attack you and other members of your household. Again, this is rare, but it occasionally happens.

I am not discussing this to promote fear. If anything, we should approach this topic in a really logical fashion. If we feel we are being spiritually attacked, and we express our own Will, our own sovereignty, and perhaps learn how to properly take care of our homes and selves energetically and spiritually (you can read about my five week course here on energetic hygiene/how to properly cleanse yourself and your home), most spiritual attacks will stop.

If you are also willing to look at your own needs, your own traumas and emotions, and to think about your own self-healing, even more attacks will stop.

But on rare occasion you have upset someone who is attacking you (or a family member has) and is simply too powerful, too overpowering for you to release yourself from. It is a difficult situation, and not one that is easy to work with. I only take limited cases like this currently, and require a one question reading (you can purchase here or contact me if you are outside of the U.S. to process payment) to figure out if I can help, and what kind of spiritual attack, if any, you are undergoing.

In closing, I have done this blog in particular to make people think beyond the surface reality that is currently being presented in most new-age and spiritual communities. There are no hard and fast rules in spirituality, and anyone who is claiming that you “just have to” do anything, or that you just have to think positively or that it was your fault for “x” happening to you is just saying and believing what they need to… they do this to feel comfortable, to feel safe, to feel like they have control.

Most spirituality is self-created for our own intrinsic needs, and it is a rare person who is willing to look for truth instead of making themselves feel special or in control. I commend you if you are able to actually process this blog and think about it consciously, whether you agree with it or not… it is the conscious thought process that matters… and in being able to consciously think about a subject as difficult as this that we grow as people and go beyond the surface illusions that are being fed to us by mainstream spiritual circles and teachers, and that we grow out of spiritual immaturity and into our own power.


Healing as a Process

When I was an Acupuncturist treating people for mainstream complaints (back/neck pain, etc) I found that most people associated healing with less discomfort. If, after the appointment, they had a flareup of symptoms, or other uncomfortable symptoms occurred, they assumed that acupuncture wasn’t working or that something had gone wrong. Basically, they assume discomfort = not healing.

Taking this a step further– I also found that people who had their main complaint (the issue they came in with) lessened or if it completely went away the person would all but forget about it and go on to their next complaints, sometimes not even realizing that they came in initially for back pain and at their next appointment they were saying that acupuncture didn’t work because their stomach hurt.

Taking this even a step further– I also found that the group of people who experienced quick relief of their symptoms would often take an attitude of “I don’t know what happened, it must be luck/chance that I feel better”. I was not looking for accolades, and in fact many time patients had to directly do things– like stretches or eating differently– and they still wouldn’t attribute their healing to themselves.

Whatever the result, due to our conditioned mindset we do a few things in relation to the healing process:

1. Assume that anything seemingly negative (i.e. not numbness offered by pharmaceutical companies) means that we are not healing, or that whoever we went to for healing “did something wrong”.

In some cases, this can of course be true. People, including healers, screw up. Some quite a bit, and quite often. But in many cases we have been culturally indoctrinated to assume that healing means numbness, or that our symptoms will automatically improve.

This is often not the case. If we picture our healing process as an onion, we might have to take off layers of that onion in order to fully heal from whatever caused our imbalances/pain in the first place. In all cases of pain, dysfunction, and imbalance our whole body protects the area that is out of balance (yes, even in cases of emotional imbalance). So when we begin to peel the layers back of the proverbial onion, we might find that our body has to re-arrange, re-integrate, and actually process the pain or the original cause of our dysfunction.

This may not be pleasant. It may bring up physical pain, emotions, and needs for your body to figure out as a whole how to rebalance itself.

2. We do not realize that healing, real healing, has to involve us.

We are all to willing to give our power away. Sometimes this is necessary, such as if our appendix explodes and we need emergency surgery. But in many cases, the person who heals vs. the person who doesn’t has a lot to do with personal investment in healing. We are all to willing to go to the doctor, or the shaman, or the healer and have them do things to us… instead of us having a stake in the process and participating with them.

We assume that healing is immediate. Again, we are not willing to work for our own healing. Anything– be it exercise, eating differently, meditation and visualizations that could heal (or cure) our situation many of us simply won’t do… or we will do once and then say it didn’t work.

I will say that healing is a lot different than curing, by the way… and I am not of the mindset that you can just think “positive thoughts” and your cancer will go away. I have been in the holistic medical field for way too long, including working in hospice, clinics, and hospital systems, to know that is not true. But the person who thinks positive thoughts, does positive actions, and is invested in their healing process totally and completely with a desire to live will certainly be more likely to be both healed and cured.

3. We do not understand that healing is a process
This is a big one. See #1, but we are so used to taking a pill for something, utilizing something outer to quell our inner pain, that the idea that healing is a process and something that involves our own efforts is something of a foreign concept to most of us, even those of us seeking more holistic methods.

Basically, when we go for the numbing that pharmaceuticals offer, we are only looking for that numbing (in most cases, obviously there are exceptions to this). When we look for healing, we are going through a process. A process that likely needs our support as well as a team of varying clinicians and healing methods.

4. We do not understand that we are mind-body-spirit
People who come to me nowadays have likely gone through allopathic medical approaches, therapists of varying stripes, holistic providers such as acupuncturists, herbalists, and bodyworkers. And they are still having difficulty. This is because we can take care of the mind all we want, we can take care of the body all we want, if we are having an imbalance that is persisting despite these methods and/or is chronic, the spiritual layer of our illness and imbalance needs to be worked with.

This is if we actually do want to heal (some of us want to destroy ourselves, actually). But to heal from something chronic or serious (either physically or emotionally) we likely need that team of clinicians and different methods of healing for the mind, body, and spirit.

5. We trust people and “experts” that we shouldn’t
Every time I look on Facebook, or really anywhere on the internet I see people offering advice and articles that are ill-informed and some are downright dangerous. There are gurus and “spiritual teachers” espousing methods for healing mind, body, and spirit such as releasing trauma without any sort of training in the physiology of trauma, people who say that a specific herb will cure your cancer (without any sort of herbal training), and people without any sort of health care training, bodywork training, or understanding of really anything about, well, really anything, who say that your thyroid disease comes from hating yourself (like there is a one to one ratio for such things… or my favorite that Ebola (when that scare was going around) could only happen to you if you lacked self-concept.

Diseases are multi-dimensional. We are multi-dimensional. In fact, one of the first precepts that you learn about any sort of holistic or spiritual healing is that each person is an individual, with their own unique constellation of reasons why their imbalanced began. You learn that two people who have chronic fatigue (for example) may need two different herbal formulas (and yes, not just one herb).  It is only be teasing apart the emotional, traumatic, energetic, spiritual, mental, and physical reasons for illness and imbalance that we can truly understand it.

Until then, we are just perpetuating more illusion, and we are adding to the general ignorance that is continually shared and memed throughout our world. There are plenty of “experts” out there treating what they shouldn’t be. We were all new clinicians at some point, but if you want herbal help for your cancer go to a trained herbalist. And not only a trained herbalist, but one that specializes in cancer… one that has a track record of working with people with cancer. If you are looking to heal from trauma, do not go to someone who has no healthcare and/or psychology training and is saying they are a “shaman” from a weekend class and so now they can work with trauma. Go to someone who has studied trauma, knows it, can hold space for it, specializes in working with it.

If you want spiritual help, do not trust the “expert” on your Facebook or internet group that is telling you what you need to do with yourself without knowing you or even looking at the situation. The amount of bad advice I have seen just concerning Kundalini awakenings still is oddly astonishing to me, but this can extend to advice about spirits, trauma, or really anything else spiritually. A real spiritual worker will know that they need time to look at a specific situation, to do divination concerning it. And they will not either have the time to be on Facebook all day offering suggestions or mostly they will realize that spiritual work is not a game, and that people can get hurt or confused by bad advice, or advice that is simply not individualized for the person inquiring. Nobody who does this work professionally and ethically will offer suggestions on the internet, basically. They will not have the time to and they know that spiritual work requires diligence, ethics, and individualized attention… not generalized statements.

Basically, do your homework as both someone who wants treatment for something and/or as a hopeful clinician who wants to specialize. Learn to refer to someone who actually works with trauma, or cancer (or anything else) if you want to work with it so you can go beyond perpetuating more illusion with little help for your clients/patients.

6. We go to healers we know won’t help us
This one sounds odd at first glance, especially because we are spending actual money. I once worked under a woman healer who was excellent at working with digestive disorders, to the point that people with things like ulcerative colitis could leave her clinic after a month or two of treatments and resume basically their normal lives (with some dietary restrictions, of course).

Down the road was a new graduate who promised everyone he could “cure” them no matter what it was. He promised a one, two, or three treatment cure. I had seen this man work and he was simply not very good at what he did. But people came to him, partially because of his promise of “cure” but there are some complex energetics considering healers that most people do not want to discuss. I was always curious why people with digestive disorders would go to him instead of the woman healer I worked under who was incredibly more effective and cheaper than this man.

Really effective healers, true spiritual workers, and so forth are somewhat rare. There was a time in my life that I was looking for Truth (capital T). I was looking for a healer that could actually help me, and while I found a few that were moderately helpful, I couldn’t find someone that could heal or even explain what I was going through.

I realized one day that I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to be healed, or “cured”, and I simply wasn’t ready to meet anyone who had any type of power or capability to understand what I was going through.

When I was ready, I found healers, teachers, and so forth that had the explanations, the healing capabilities, and the teaching capabilities that I was so hungry for.

This pattern is hard to wrap your head around, so I will explain it with another story. Even as a more general acupuncturist I didn’t really want to work with fertility patients. Fertility in acupuncture is a really specialized area, and requires a lot of study in specific areas of reproductive endocrinology because patients are typically going through a lot of allopathic treatment. I was, in fact, not very good at fertility work. There were also three acupuncturists in the somewhat small town I was in who in bold letters stated they were specialists in fertility work, with requisite pictures of parents with their children conceived with the help of said acupuncturist.

But people would occasionally call me for fertility acupuncture. And I realized at a certain point that these were people who didn’t want a child. It sounds harsh, I realize, but when you would talk with them about their stress levels, their partners, or anything else it was loud and clear. I began referring all of these patients out, and no longer taking them on, and they wouldn’t call the fertility expert.

Sometimes we are afraid of healing and despite our best efforts we sabotage our own healing.

It is difficult to change, to want to change, to realize that healing is a process, to realize that we have to put our own efforts in. It can be difficult to do research to realize who is an expert in working with trauma spiritually (or anything spiritually) and who is just playing in the spiritual sandbox, or to find a specialized acupuncturist, herbalist, bodyworker, and so forth to help us heal. But if we want to heal, if we truly want to, if we are ready to find the people and teachers and healers that we are looking for, we will. We just have to want to move on in our lives, to heal, and to let go of the fear that is telling us that we want things to remain in our lives as they are.