Monthly Archives: June 2015

Surrender and the Spiritual Path

One of the things that my Kundalini awakening taught me was how to surrender. And surrender again. And again…

This is not a rarity for anyone on a spiritual path. In order to awaken we must surrender the layers and layers of conditioning that create what we consider to be a fairly concrete, external reality (our day to day lives). The trauma, beliefs, and understandings that we have developed, that have been given to us by others, that society and the world has given us. Our reality is an illusion… what we consider to be reality is an illusion I should say… and when this reality begins breaking down… when we must surrender a layer of it or choose to surrender a layer of it… we become more of who we fully are. Our selves without obscuring elements.

This is a powerful thing. The more layers we cast off, the more we surrender, the more we become who we truly are. Who we were meant to be. We become embodied, we become truth, we become light.

Our minds/egos tell us not to surrender. Our minds create elaborate tricks to keep us where we are. Our minds create initiations, tests, illnesses, and circumstances in our outer reality when we think about changing. There was a time that when I would plan to re-start my yoga practice (yet again) and I would wake up that morning ill… or when a layer of conditioned reality, a belief or understanding was lifted off of me, that I created an illusion of huge spiritual tests to make logical sense out of no longer having that belief color my world, no longer constrict my view of the world, to make sense of that limited view no longer being present.

Surrender can be a difficult thing. It can shake us to our core. Because even though we may be in pain, we may be in misery, we may feel alone on a planet filled with billions of people, we are used to our circumstances. We are used to our pain and despair and isolation. So the idea of change is scary for us. It is especially scary for those of us when we seemingly do not choose to surrender… the surrender is forced upon us. In significant or sudden awakenings we can have totally different identities, beliefs, and understandings of the world from one day to the next, one hour to the next, even five minutes from the present moment if a blast of energy goes through us, releasing some of the layers quickly.

But surrender is really a beautiful thing. It is change. It is divinity. For long periods of time I heard the phrase “let go and let God” reverberate through my world. At the time I was resistant. I was antagonistic towards it. I did not see that surrender is the divine current of change– it allows for us to become who we truly are in this world. The more we allow ourselves to surrender the more we realize that we are not alone, that our pain and separation does not define us, and that change need not be frightening.

When we allow for ourselves to simply unfold into divinity, without stopping ourselves and blocking ourselves, simply surrendering what comes up without the creation of elaborate illusions, we can remember and reveal our light… our true selves… our power. We can continually be who we are meant to be, and continually become more of who we are. The obscuring layers can simply release without chaos.

When we truly let go… not of our physical circumstances and not even of our mental constructs but on a deep, cosmic consciousness type layer… allowing ourselves to feel the fear rise, to not feel in control, and realizing that when we let go like this all of those beliefs that are harming us, that are keeping us restricted into limited identities and limited realizations can release. We truly can release our trauma, release the layers of conditioning that have been given to us. We only need to understand that we can… and that beyond what we consider to be our selves, beyond what we have been given… we do not need to feel alone, afraid, and out of control. We can simply unfold with grace, with humility, with ease, and with the full knowledge of being held by something much greater than ourselves.

Ethics in Mediumship and Channeling

Although typically in my blog I make a specific point to not call out individuals, there is on ongoing trend in modern psychic communities to “channel” famous (or not-so-famous) historical figures, politicians, and people from the recent or not-so-distant past.

Although I have met some and worked with some incredible channels in my day, and very much believe in the phenomena due to direct experience, I very much doubt the validity of many of these channels. There are also considerable ethical issues with many of them who choose to “channel” anyone from Hitler to former POW’s to children or others who have been caught in a natural disaster.

If you are channeling something/someone from Galaxica 5 (yes, I made this up) you can choose to believe them or their message. They do not have friends, family, loved ones, and people who have been affected by their stories or their lives. But when you are claiming to channel Hitler, for example, and claiming that he is now all “love and light” and filled with compassion and understanding complete with messages for the universe about the “positive effects” he had due to what he perpetrated on earth, it is obnoxious. More than that, it is morally wrong.

The dead are not different than us, especially if they are still at a point where they are retaining their individual identities. When we die we retain many of the same qualities that we had on Earth. Any real medium or spiritual worker that I have met agrees with this point. If we died and were a 17 year old high school drop-out drug addict, we are not going to start quoting Osho. If we cling to material possessions and/or a religious fervor in life, we are like that in death. There is this grand illusion that once we die, perpetrated by common religious systems, that we all turn into love and light and can tell our loved ones about the depths of the universe.

It is understandable we want to believe this. Death is scary to most of us… life is scary to  most of us… and if we believe that there are people who can and do get messages from even the most difficult, despicable, souls, or the souls that have had the hardest life on earth that are all about forgiveness, light, and love, that makes us a bit less afraid about our own inevitable death.

If we are “channeling” messages from a loved one who is hearing multiple apologies and exactly what they need to hear in their grief-stricken state from their dead loved one, it is likely that they are deeply traumatized and have disassociated from the experience due to trauma that was too overwhelming, cultivating a sub-personality or it is something that is self-created to tell them exactly what they need to hear in that overwhelmed, grief-stricken state.

This is how most “mediums” and “channels” operate. They rarely have real abilities. The catch to this is that most of the people who go to mediums to talk to their loved ones do not really want to actually hear from their loved ones. They want a story constructed of forgiveness, of love, and of how they are safe and in a wonderful place. I have mixed feelings about this, because many of these stories can create comfort for the loved on who desperately needs to hear that their deceased loved one has forgiven them, has moved on, and is full of love and light. This illusion can be deeply comforting, healing, and exactly what the living need to hear to reconcile part of their grief.

But it is not actual mediumship or channeling. When a deceased loved one actually appears, they are likely to give specific messages that only the person seeking them can relate to, have the same personality in death as they did in life, and may actually need something from the medium or their loved ones in order to cross over. Real mediumship can be quite difficult, and often is not filled with the sort of awe-encompassing messages that we see from mediums on tv or in the media. This is because we really want that illusion of our loved ones suddenly being Einstein, and even the most difficult lives being transformed into utter bliss. Death is certainly freeing, but if we work through our fears about it and our needs for it to be a certain way, we will be more comfortable without the often elaborate illusions that we have set for ourselves about it and that are perpetrated by other “mediums” and “channels” that prey on our fears and needs… and often their own delusions and psychological needs relating to the same fears.

But let us also talk more about the ethics of this. Even if you are channeling a famous murder victim, Hitler, your own child, or someone on the news, why are you not questioning yourself as to the veracity of this information? Why are you so important that this information needs to get out to popular media? Why should this equal you having a Youtube channel, a book, or telling hundreds, thousands, or even millions of people about this? 

Unless you are an extremely advanced channel or medium (this is extraordinarily rare) you cannot know without question that what and who you are channeling is 100 percent accurate. Everything that is channeled is filtered through our own beliefs, our own illusions, and our own needs. If we see a news report about a famous person who has just died and who is all over the news and suddenly we are “channeling them” ethically we need to question if we are right, if we are valid, and if we are just in this information getting out there, whether it is real or not. Because if this information does get out there, the situation becomes energetically focused on us… instead of who it should be… the deceased, their family, and their loved ones.

Also, when someone channels someone who has affected many lives, are those lives considered at all when the “channel” is relating messages? We live real, physical lives on Earth… complete with emotions, relationships, and personal and cultural histories. When someone is claiming to channel a famous veteran who was killed in combat, they are often not considering anyone other than themselves. They certainly are not considering if the friends, family, and those affected would be open or need to hear this type of information. It is also interesting that many of these “channels” never channel anything that has not been on national news or is part of our national history. They channel controversial and popular figures to build up notoriety. Most real channels I have met channel a specific person or group. Most real mediums I have met encounter thousands of dead people on a daily if not weekly basis, many of whom nobody has heard of.

It is always funny to me that when people relate “past lives” that they are always someone like Cleopatra, when they have a “spirit guide” it is always Native American, and when they “channel” it is always someone well known. If we consider this logically, there are millions of spirits and past incarnations out there. Many channels and mediums (that I do not have doubts about) work with a variety of beings, energies, and spirits of all sorts. Most real channels and mediums are they types to ethically consider the ramifications of their work, the energetics of their work, and the veracity of their work. They have enough energetic and spiritual awareness and sensitivity to constantly question themselves, to question if what and who they are working with is real (vs. something they have self-created due to seeing a news report or their own needs or wants for notoriety, from trauma or personal emotional needs), and what the impact of relating specific information will be like to a general public that does not have the spiritual abilities or awareness that they have cultivated. Basically, if they do channel Hitler, they will likely shut up about it (and seriously- Hitler?)

It is important for all of us to question what we see popularized in media, social networks, and in literature when people claim spiritual experiences or to have spiritual abilities. Is what they are saying logical? Does it hit our personal “gut instinct” as being right and true? Could there be other underlying reasons why this person is claiming that they are channeling something? These are all questions that we need to consider. The spiritual is not illogical.

Let us also consider our own needs and issues when we want to go to a medium or channel (or listen to them, buy their books, etc). Do we really need to believe what they are saying? Why? Do we acknowledge our own fear of death? What would happen if we let go of that fear or worked through it? What would happen if we let go of our cosmology (just even a little bit) that is based out of fear and a real need for anyone in death to become suddenly much more intelligent, capable, spiritual, eloquent, kind, filled with love, and more beautiful?

If we look at the channel or medium it is also true that if we are in any way sensitive we will notice a palpable change in them when they are channeling. If you are able to view them are they filled with a different sort of energy than before? Are their facial features different? Is their personality different? No matter what type of medium (some people are more physical than others) and no matter what they are channeling or bringing across, there will be some sort of noticeable, palpable change in them… one that also when we check in with our gut instinct (our inherent sense of knowing) seems real and not contrived.

There are real mediums and channels out there. There are sensitives of all sorts, people with psychic abilities of all sorts. When I begin to talk about problems that appear in communities like this, it is natural for people who want to believe in anything and everything to say that I am not a believer, or am angry, or I don’t understand. These are all common ways to not process or consider what I am saying because you do not wish to or are not ready to. I get that, and people are where they are. This is also a complex issues, as I do not think that the “fake” mediums out there who tell loved ones that their family member is charming and safe and forgives them (or whatever else the family member needs to hear) are creating more harm than good. It can be deeply healing to hear from someone with purported psychic abilities that their loved one is healed, healthy, and filled with love and forgiveness.

But the point remains that we need to consider, in a logical manner, what is real and what is creating more illusion. What we want to believe based on our own trauma and psychology and what would happen to that belief if we healed that trauma. What would happen if we healed our fear of death? What would happen if we approached spiritual work and spiritual experiences as logically as we did going to the grocery store or doing our laundry? 

If we are a medium or channel, considering what we need to hear and what we may be self-creating vs. what is actually coming through is of vital importance. We may really need to hear that nothing and nobody is evil and that Hitler is picking posies in a field somewhere filled with love and compassion. That is likely our own stuff and our own needs for the universe creating illusions. More than that, we need to consider the ethics of what we relate to the general public. If we are “channeling” a well-known celebrity or person that has met a tragic death recently on the news, are we relating this to be of service? Or are we doing this to add to our own notoriety or needs for attention? There is no such thing as 100 percent trusting anything that is coming across to us. We can be fairly certain, but as sensitives, even if we see a giant neon sign about the head of someone that says CANCER!!!!! it could be a metaphorical cancer, it could be actual cancer, it could be something that we need to be paying attention to in ourselves. The point is that we can never be 100 percent sure. Everything is filtered through our own perceptions, and ethically we need to consider that, and consider the effects of the information we relay in the “mundane” (our ordinary reality- the one we all live in) before we relay it.

Spiritual Bathing: The Basics

One of the tools that I recommend most to my patients who are energetically sensitive in any way is spiritual bathing. Although it sound a bit trite to say (and to read I am sure) the practice of spiritual bathing has completely turned my life around. I used to be consistently exhausted, overwhelmed, and felt ill consistently (with illness that nobody could figure out) due to the amount of spiritual stimulus that was around me. This was despite knowing how to ward (protect myself and my home), how to clear my space, having proper boundaries, claiming my body, working through my traumas and illusions, and doing all of the multitude of practices that have helped me to become whole, given me power, and facilitated understanding on a rather deep level.

Despite all of this I still was overwhelmed because of my sensitivities. I could ward, banish, clear, cultivate my light and compassion and do everything “right” and because I was so sensitive I still was overloaded from seeing too much, from sensing too much, and from feeling the effects of the amount of energies attracted to me and just simply that surround me.

Spiritual bathing comes from pretty much every culture on the planet. It is mentioned in the Bible, it is mentioned in most forms of folk practices and magic from Greece to China to Africa. At its simplest, spiritual bathing is just as it sounds. It is bathing in herbs and minerals for a specific purpose. 

Spiritual bathing can be done for anything. It can be done to clear energy from you (or from inside of you), release emotions/trauma, clear blocks, bring in new opportunities and money, engender romance, for fertility, for protection, sealing of the energies around you, and simply for relaxation.

The prescribing of specific herbs and minerals for spiritual bathing should be done by an experienced root worker, root doctor, or folk practitioner who understands the spiritual properties of specific herbs and minerals and who can come up with an exact prescription of what ingredients you should use to help your exact situation.  (Yes, I do this, and it is often part of the “homework” I give people after a spiritual healing session)

That being said, there are basic ingredients that we can all utilize that are wonderful for most of us to gain the benefits of spiritual bathing. I have included a few of my basic, favorite baths below, and then will tell you how spiritual bathing is done.

Clearing and Releasing Baths
My favorite “basic” bath is a salt bath. This can be as simple as getting dead sea salts or Epsom salts, putting a cup in the bathtub, and soaking in it, with the intent that anything that is not yours and/or anything that wants to clear, can do so.

One of my other favorite baths is with coconut. Ideally you would get a whole coconut, drill three holes in it, put the coconut water in the tub and again intend that anything that is not yours will clear. In some Caribbean traditions you would then fill up the coconut with the dirty bath water (it doesn’t have to be a lot) and release the coconut into the sea or ocean, or at the very least crack it by some sort of body of water to signify that the old energy is leaving and that new energy can come in.

Nurturing and Romance
Goats Milk 
is both mildly clearing as well as deeply nurturing, and is a part of many prescriptions for fertility. The addition of rose petals can nurture as well as allow for a woman to feel romantic about her male partner, or lavender is classically used for women who wish to feel romantic about their female partner.

Protection
Any of the clearing herbs can certainly help with protection, but the addition of rosemary will help women to feel protected, especially women who have children. Rue is an herb that is specific to clear negativity and to protect you from negative energy sent from others.

Clearing Jinxes and Crossed Conditions, Starting Anew
Some spiritual situations are incredibly complex or more serious than simply taking a salt bath. Herbs like hyssop combined with agrimony and rue are an excellent place to start. This is a simple prescription for those who have had any sort of magic done against them, or who are spiritual workers to ensure any negativity or backlash has been cleared. Parsley is often used to banish or clear more difficult spirits or energies from us (temporarily, but effectively).

For complex situations (yes I am repeating myself) an individualized prescription is often necessary. Spiritual bathing can be a simple way to work with a variety of situations– from simply creating a fresh start for ourselves, for general release and clearing or “blockbusting”… to specific or difficult situations such as spirit release, undoing the work of others against us (or our subconscious work against ourselves)… to engendering romance, fertility, protection, and better finances and general flow in our lives.

How Spiritual Bathing works
You will simply gather your ingredients. For loose herbs (either dried or fresh) so you do not mess up your bathtub you have two choices:

  1. Put the herb in a large bowl, bring up some water to a boil, and cover the herb with the water and let it steep. When it gets dark/infused, strain it, bring the water portion up to the bath and pour it in with the rest of the water.
  2. Get an empty teabag or cheesecloth and put the herb in. Then put it in the hot water of your bath and let it steep a bit.

For salt you can simply put a cup or two into the bottom of your bathtub. For the coconut you would drill the holes before getting in the bathtub, and simply bring it in the bath with you.

There is no set amount for ingredients, but like a loose leaf tea, you want there to be enough of an impact that the water changes color, that you can smell the herbs, and that you can sense their presence while bathing. There is no set amount for ingredients– meaning that you may choose to take a salt and rosemary bath, or a goats milk and rose petal bath. Or even a salt, hyssop, agrimony, parsley, and rue bath to hedge your bets. With combining ingredients you want to ensure that you are not canceling one out, or adding too many purposes to one bath. You would not want to take a clearing bath and a romance bath at the same time, for example. You would take the clearing bath and then on a separate day take the romance bath. Unless you know what you are doing, simple is often best. A simple salt bath can make a world of difference to someone who is sensitive if done regularly.

How often do I do this?
I suggest to most people that they do a spiritual cleansing bath once a week. Again this can be a simple salt bath.

What do I do?
After gathering the ingredients and putting them in the bath, you will get in the bath. You will state your intent (this bath will clear any negativity, any energy that is not mine, allow for me to move forward in my life, clear any energies/entities, protect me, etc). You may choose to call in a spiritual guide before getting into the bath or utilize source energy/reiki to bring extra energy and intent into the bath as well. Often this is really not necessary, however.

You will then get into the bath and basically take a bath. There are many different cultures who do spiritual bathing and some of them utilize cups (for example) to take the bath water and pour it over the head, letting it run down to the feet.

Many of the directions for spiritual bathing were created in cultures before there were bathtubs, or when they were quite expensive, so I suggest to most people to simply immerse themselves in the bath after stating their intent and allow for the bathwater to be poured or streamed over you head to feet for clearing purposes… and feet to head for anything you want to gain (protection, romance, money, for example). This can be as simple as cupping your hands and pouring a bit over the top of your head and then gently sweeping your body in a downward fashion until you reach your feet.

You then get out of the bath. Like I said, a simple salt bath is often quite effective (just pouring in some salt, sitting in it and saying your intent of clearing, and then getting out). I find that the ritualization of spiritual bathing (or the “classical” rootwork methods) to be quite effective. These are not absolutely necessary, but if you are dealing with a lot of negativity or struggle or you think someone is working against you are something is attached to you, I do suggest doing the ritual in full.

The full ritual:
In rootwork, the bath is often taken at or just before dawn. A portion of the bathwater is saved. You would get out of the tub and air dry. Some people like to step out of the tub between two white candles that are lit to signify that a fresh start is being made. I do find that it is a lovely way to do things.

You would then get dressed, put any clothes you were wearing in the laundry, and bring the portion of the bathwater that you saved to a crossroads (basically where any road intersects with another road). You would then dump out the bathwater you saved over your left shoulder and go back home, taking a different route than you took on the way there. You would not look back at the crossroad that you dumped the water at.

The modified ritual:
Most people who are not in severe situations, or who are willing to make spiritual bathing a routine (as in once or twice a week, or once a week and whenever they are feeling “off”) that they will stick to will do a modified ritual.

You would bathe the same way, collect a portion of the bathwater, step out between the two candles, and then drop the bath water off at a crossroads, in a brook or stream, or ask permission of a tree or other natural object to mulch or dispose of the water for you.

The modified ritual cuts out the air drying, the timing portion, and the ritual of the crossroads (at least to the extent of not needing to do it at dawn, pouring over left shoulder, etc).

A simple bath:
Like I mentioned, most people could really just use a salt bath. Just put the salt in the tub, get in and state your intent, and soak for 10-20 minutes or so.

This cuts out need for downward motion for clearing, collecting bath water, timing, ritual aspects, etc. But even doing a simple salt bath once a week, if done regularly, can clear a lot of energy.

It sounds so simple, but often the simple things are the most effective… we just really want things to be complex because our minds think they will work better. When I began spiritual bathing I didn’t know much about the spiritual properties of herbs and did a salt bath (simple version) once a night for seven nights. My health immediately improved, my fatigue lessened, my energetic space became clearer and clearer. I do realize as a clinician that salt baths also contain a lot of magnesium and minerals that are highly effective, but the effect of not having so much energetic “junk” around me even with the simple bath was astonishing to me. The gradual addition of herbs to help clear, protect, banish, or break through negativity, to nourish, or to bring certain elements to my life as well as the ritualized, classical aspects of it has had an astronomical impact on my life and on my practice.

If you are looking to begin a practice of spiritual bathing, you can contact me for a reading or appointment. Like I mentioned, these are the very, very basics of doing these practices, and with the right prescription the results can be really beautiful. But the practices mentioned are an excellent start at integrating spiritual bathing into your life.

 

Thoughtforms: The Consolidated Energy of Thoughts

A few weeks ago I got into a discussion with a woman who is somewhat of a colleague of mine, although with different interests in the fields of energy work and spiritual healing. I have a lot of love for this woman, because she has had a difficult past, is quite ill, and is willing to look beyond what society, her family, and her traumas are telling her about herself in order to heal. I find it admirable, and beautiful, when anyone is willing to question or really to think in a world where most of our thoughts or ideas and our understandings about the world have been given to us by others.

But an interesting thing happened. We had a discussion that ended up in disagreement. Both of us are past the point that disagreement causes animosity towards the other person. The ability to have in-depth discussions like this, even with opposing viewpoints or different ideas about a subject, that do not turn into hurt feelings or personal attacks or the magnification of personal trauma is rare, and I love when it happens.

Later that evening as I was going to bed I became acutely aware of an energy in my room that was not mine. I have excellent protections in my home due to the type of work that I do and my general sensitivity level so it is rare that something could get in the bedroom that was not mine. But it was this woman, my colleague…

It was not her astral projecting, or in any way her physical or spiritual presence. The discussion that we had that afternoon had stirred up emotions from her and she had some thoughts towards me that were less than complimentary. I repeat that this was and is a lovely woman who temporarily got triggered, and the thoughts that she had, due in major part to her spiritual/energetic abilities were sent to me as a consolidated, projected thoughtform. 

As for this situation, I messaged her and she realized what she was doing and apologized. Like I said, she is the type of lovely person who is willing to take personal responsibility for herself and is spiritually aware/advanced enough to understand that she is not perfect. (She is fine with me telling this story, just as an FYI for those curious).

So what is a thoughtform? We are in a sea of thoughts, of emotions, of understandings and ideas that are not our own. In our “spiritual” society there is a huge focus on chakras and larger energies like spirits. But what is most common energetically to encounter is this energetic sea of thoughts. It surrounds us, it engulfs us. Most of us pick up on these thoughts, these ideas subconsciously and incorporate them into our lives without even realizing it.

It is hard to break free from this. Releasing the thoughts and belief systems of other people, of teachers/gurus, of society, is typically a really hard transition. Our thoughts and beliefs form most of our external day-to-day reality. The ability to break free from this is a deeply healing process, and typically allows for us to see or sense thoughtforms and the sea of thoughts, as well as allows for us to stop, for the most part, caring what other people think about us. This is incredibly freeing, as we all fear judgement and may find ourselves feared, hated, or gossiped about by others… this really hurts until we are able to free ourselves from thoughtforms… and then we can take personal stock of what is our issue and what is theirs, often discovering that what people don’t like about us or judge us for doesn’t have much to do with us, but rather something we have triggered that is unhealed or doesn’t want to be conscious in them.

Thoughtforms are really just consolidated thoughts. Like I mentioned, we are in a sea of thoughts. Many of them affect us, but a lot of them don’t have a large impact on us– it would be like walking through a mist or a cloud– we would make it out the other side a little damp but not that much changed.

Thoughtforms are a bit different. These are consolidated thoughts… they typically have emotion attached to them as well. These will either be charged by society (meaning that many people in that society have a lot of emotion and are resonating with and helping to create that thought on a societal level… which is how our reality is constructed basically) or they are projected thoughts at you that either have a lot of emotion, are of importance, or are coming from someone who has some spiritual/energetic power. 

Let me explain.

Some thoughts have a lot of emotion attached to them. They resonate with our own traumas, our own fears, our own sense of injustice in the world. When we argue with someone, when we disagree with someone, when we get into an altercation with someone this often turns into personal attack… if not physical altercation. But what also happens is that the person, with a great deal of emotion, begins thinking negative thoughts about you. The thoughts they are having, plus the heightened emotions, aimed at you means that you are having thoughtforms hurled at you from that person. 

This is like a bubble of animosity, or not-so-nice thoughts, that comes at you and stays in your energetic field until it naturally dissipates, or you take care of it. If this is a one time occurrence, and you are of relative stable and sound mind, you will likely be mad for a bit, notice the thoughtform subconsciously (perhaps sending one back) and it will naturally break apart over time. If the person is consistently thinking negative thoughts about you they will be sending a lot of these “bubbles” into your field, and it might need to be cleared by a spiritual worker. The person sending these thoughts doesn’t need to be aware of this (and they frequently are not) or be spiritual aware, powerful, etc. in any way. They just have to have a lot of emotion and negativity towards you.

Some thoughts consolidate and crystallize in your energy field because they are of importance. Or they come from an important person. For example, if our parent says that we will never amount to anything, if a teacher we had says that our paper was awful, if a friend calls us a terrible friend, if a boyfriend says we will never find anyone else like him. These thoughts all come from people that we care more about, and so their words carry a specific sort of weight that is more likely to cause consolidated thoughtforms and trauma. In this case we will begin to believe the crystallized thoughtform (again, likely not on a conscious level) believing that we are worthless, or a terrible friend, or that we cannot write papers. In this case the thoughtform/consolidated energy needs to be removed and often there needs to be a bit of trauma work done so you can move past the situation and person that created this, or at the very least forgive them for doing so.

The third basic way thoughtforms are created and affect us are thoughtforms that are projected at us from someone with spiritual or energetic abilities or power. The more spiritual power that we have the more we have to be responsible for our thoughts, because they can project and affect a lot of things. Basically, the more spiritually aware we are the more we are able to affect the environment and world around us energetically. But it doesn’t take a lot of spiritual power or capability to have our thoughts be more powerful than “average” or projected at others. Recently I have become aware of someone who dislikes me because I talk about things that are not “safe” or “love and light”. I am not his cup of tea, as it goes. This is fine, and I still consider him to be a lovely person, if a bit fearful and stuck in spiritual immaturity. I became aware as he was consistently thinking negative thoughts about me of jealous and rather nasty thoughtforms coming my way. I am at the point where I just reflect them (and wear a mirror to do so) but I do find it funny that the “love and light-ers” are the most likely to send out negativity and negative thoughtforms into the world. 

When we take care of our negativity… when we acknowledge it… it does not go out into the world. If we choose to remain “love and light” and not acknowledge our negativity, our emotions, and so on these get powerfully sent out into the world. If all of the “lightworkers”, energy workers, “shamans” and spiritual workers would just focus on clearing their own trauma and negativity, and reconciling with their darkness and primal natures the world could powerfully change. That won’t happen, but it of course would be lovely if it did.

Working with Thoughtforms: The Basics
This can be as simple as watching our thoughts. This can also be taken a step further and be watching our thoughts and acknowledging when thoughts come up that are not so pleasant. Or realizing that when we have a lot of negativity towards someone that it likely more about us than them… or that it is likely more about the situation or topic than them. There is no need to send negative thoughts to someone who disagrees with us politically, or has a different understanding of the world than us (no matter how twisted we may feel theirs may be and how “right” ours is). If someone cuts us off in traffic and we get really upset at them we can realize that it is about the situation, rather than them. 

This does not mean that someone we are getting into conflict in isn’t an idiot, or dangerous, or unkind. In most cases it does mean that they have a lot of trauma and difficulty in their lives. People who are happy with themselves don’t send brutal negativity into the world. In general, realizing that people operate under a whole lot of sleep, with a lot of trauma and difficulty and struggle and rigidity in their lives is enough to begin to feel compassion for them.

If we are a “lightworker” we can realize that not everything has to be “light”. We can sit with our negativity, our fears, our judgements, our passion, our primal, animal natures, our physical bodies, our darkness, and have compassion and love for it. Real “lightwork” is acknowledging and loving every part of us– light and dark– and becoming embodied. Spirituality isn’t about escaping our physical realities, or only focusing on the “light”. When we can sit with and acknowledge our anger as well as our bliss and feel compassion for both we are well on our way to becoming “en-light-ened”.

I am certainly not perfect (although I am generally happy with my existence, path, etc) so when I catch myself sending out thoughtforms I apologize, allow myself to see them, and call them back to me. I then “pop” them and watch them disintegrate into the earth. I then apologize to the person who I sent them to, asking for their forgiveness (mentally, of course, I do not call them on the phone unless they are a friend and really, really spiritual aware), and thank them for being a teacher for me. They have showed me something that I need to heal in myself.. otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten mad, jealous, fearful, or whatever in the first place.

As I mentioned, I also wear a small mirror necklace to deflect these sorts of things, do spiritual bathing (a topic for another day) once or twice a week to clear anything that is not “mine”, and track (look for) anyone or anything that is around me that is affecting me.

Thoughtforms can affect our mood, can make us feel negative about ourselves (we feel the emotion or thought that is being sent to us and believe it is our own), and can make us think about the person or event that has transpired (that has created the thoughtform) long after it is over. Learning to clear your energy field, learning how to track thoughtforms, realizing when you are sending out thoughtforms (and bringing them back/taking personal responsibility for them), and learning how to protect yourself and free yourself from thoughtforms, learning how to clear cords if necessary (I have a class on cord clearing/cutting here) are all skills that can be acquired. If you have interest in doing so and setting an appointment to learn how to do so, you can contact me.

 

Ego Death and Dissolution

There are a lot of odd, ill-conceived, and often brutally violent thoughts out there when it comes to the concept of the ego.

  • You should kill your ego
  • You shouldn’t have an ego
  • Destroy your ego
  • If you didn’t have an ego you wouldn’t judge
  • If you didn’t have an ego you would see everyone as the same
  • Basically, that the ego is a bad thing that should be killed, maimed, murdered, or brutally attacked until it is no longer present in ourselves

I have watched this sort of brutality when it comes to talking about the ego with interest. The above sentences are all ones that have been quoted to me or said by people who I have conversed with in some manner. We are brutal to our egos. 

I am of the general opinion that we should love ourselves, and love all aspects of ourselves (yes, even our darkness, our primal natures, our emotions, and our physical bodies). And yes, even our egos… There is no need for brutality.

What is needed instead is expansion. By talking about what ego expansion is (and yes, the phase of dissolution) we can understand what a healthy non-murderous type of relationship to our egos can be like.

Most of us are stuck in the “I” phase of spiritual awakening (or lack thereof). We are unable to see outside of ourselves. The whole world is centered around ourselves. Any opinion, insight, or action that goes against our personal sense of ethics, our personal cosmology, our personal direct experience of this world is simply wrong.

As an aside, in many, many cases of spiritual awakening people get stuck. This is because they are afraid to move any further (to unfold), because they are claiming to be enlightened or know the totality of the cosmos (which means that they cannot learn any more, of course), or they are so stuck on what classes they have taken, what courses, with what teachers and a sort of intellectualism without direct experience that they simply have not progressed. This is called an Ego Awakening.

Ego Awakenings are way too common, and unfortunate. They are the number two reason why people do not spiritually progress (fear or perhaps lack of surrender being the number one).

Many of us begin to expand a bit out of the “I” phase. This is where cute kitty and puppy videos come in. We are able to have compassion and perhaps even see the view (a bit) of both our own illusory reality we have constructed out of “I”– our thoughts, needs, fears, emotions, and traumas– and have expanded to consider the plight of kittens and puppies. This is where most people are, and where they remain.

Some of us expand our “I” even further– and form the ability to see the world through the eyes of our children, our community, or generally people just like us– from the same race, culture, and educational status.

It is a rarity, and a beautiful thing when we can expand our “I” any further of this– and see people who are not “I”– meaning the same education, sexual orientation, cosmology, thought patterns, political status– and whatever other illusory constructs we have come up with for our own personal “I” centered universe. It is a rarity to have an open enough “I” to consider the beliefs, direct experiences, and understandings of people essentially different than us and the illusory constructs we have chosen to create for ourselves as valid, and true. It is difficult for most people to even read the thoughts or interact with people in this category. It would disrupt our illusions, our cosmologies to do so.

This is why there is so much anger and hostility in the world (one of the largest reasons, anyway). When we get confronted by other thought patterns, other understandings, beliefs, other “I”‘s– people who have also constructed their own illusory universe out of their “I” and it is so much different than our own we react. We get angry, we get fearful. We realize, even if for a momentary second (or at least until we return to our own comfortable sphere of “I”) that we are not as in control as we thought, that the world may not be as we have constructed it to be. Anything that threatens our illusions of the world causes a reaction. We react, and then we go back to the safety and illusions we have constructed– often constructing even more illusion after each reaction to ensure that our personal cage… our person “I”… our beliefs and illusions we have created for ourselves and our version of the world… remain intact.

Some people are able to expand beyond this layer of “I” and it is beautiful to witness. They are able to sit with dissimilar opinions, thoughts, and people without it causing a fear response. They are able to see where others are coming from who are dissimilar to them– in thoughts, in beliefs, in understandings. This is still true even if they do not agree with them. There no longer is that backlash to keep themselves encaged. People in this category do not need the cage of believing that only their universe that they have created is right. They no longer need to understand themselves as the sole creator of the universe, and are able to recognize that they have many co-creators of the universe.

This stage of “I”, if we allow it, expands until we can have understanding for everyone and everything in our world. It is easy to understand someone who has the same exact viewpoint as us. We often surround ourselves with those people. We read materials that are not “scary” to us– ones that come from people who have similar cosmologies to us. It is also easy (but also difficult emotionally, I realize) to see the world from the viewpoint of a kitten who needs a home. It is much more difficult to understand the worldview of someone who is a highly violent alcoholic, someone who is homeless, or someone who is incredibly close-minded (such as people who picket funerals). To understand who they are, to understand their point of view, even if we don’t agree with it allows for us to expand our “I”. 

We then go through the phases of expanding our “I” with compassion. Again, it is easy to feel compassion for others who have the same view, the same socio-economics, the same race, culture, location as our own. It is more difficult to feel compassion for someone who dislikes you, for someone who has murdered someone, for someone who is filled with hate.

At a certain point we do expand our “I” enough that we encompass the world. We have reached oneness and there is a brief dissolution. This is actually a really disorienting time where we feel and breathe with everything. Without our egos we have no concept of “I”… of who we are as individuals. We are intended to have egos, to have “I”‘s. When our ego returns after a brief (or somewhat brief) period of time after dissolution it is with the realization of “I” and the realization of all “other” and oneness at the same time.

After this point we no longer create illusions (or don’t to the same extent). We are still an individual, with an individual purpose, beliefs, and understandings. But we have compassion and understanding for other beliefs, even those diametrically opposed to our own, at the same time. We can love the people who hate us. We are no longer encaged by our own “I”, we are no longer creating a cage for ourselves that shuts out any other views or any other “I”. 

There are a lot of illusions that are created about the dissolution or “killing” of the ego. What it really means is that we have expanded to the point that we can see ourselves in all other people… that we can see the divine in all other people… that we can see the same divine in ourselves and other people… even if they cannot see it in themselves. Even if they are still encaged, enraged, and filled with illusions.We can sit with dissimilar opinions with compassion, with understanding, and there is no longer polarity between two opposing thoughts. They do not make us feel rage, and fear, and have us crawl back to our personal cage of beliefs we have constructed for ourselves.

One of the biggest myths is this idea that we no longer “judge” once the ego has been “killed”. This is false. What happens is that we may see someone filled with fear, anger, and hate… someone so afraid that they cannot sit with any other opinions than their own… someone unable to grow past who they are. We are able to see all of that and have compassion for them. It must be really hard to struggle with all of that. It doesn’t mean that we do not see those things– it just means that we have compassion for the unique cages that people construct for themselves out of their “I”– their personal illusory universe.

I encourage people to see how they are reacting to others. People can be our greatest teachers. Are we reacting out of anger to them because they are threatening our own “I”? Are we reacting out of fear because our “I” wants us to? When we come to a state of peace, of compassion, of expanded “I” within ourselves those reactions to individual people will be gone. They will simply be seen as people struggling with their “I”… their cages. We will still have emotions (all of them), we will not be vapid and shallow beings who never feel anything, but the anger at individual people and our internal reactions to them will cease. Anyone that does cause that reaction is a teacher, and can be looked at to reconcile some small or large part of ourselves… to expand our “I” even further.

I encourage people to visit, make friends with, and read things from people of different cultures, belief systems, and understandings than our own. We grow not by reading something that tells us what we want to know, what we already believe, and what we want to hear, we grow through reading and learning from people who have different views, different understandings, and much different “I”‘s than our own.

Most of us are still in the stage of only reading things that we agree with– anything else creates a reaction of disdain, fear, or we are simply unable to process it. We come up with surface understandings of why it may be wrong without even allowing ourselves to read it or or to listen to someone who has a different “I” than us. This is our ego protecting itself. If we want to grow we will question if our reaction is one of fear, of not wanting to change or grow, of wanting to protect ourselves and our illusory “I”. We will read anyway, we will listen anyway, if we are at a point we are able to consider other beliefs than our own… and deeply consider them… and then take what works for us to help us grown.

And feel compassion for your “I”. Your ego wants to protect itself. It is deeply afraid. It wants to protect you. It does not need to be “killed”, it needs love, and gentle expansion. It needs to be thanked for attempting to protect you. Have compassion for it, have love for it, and let it know that it is okay if it expands… even just a little.

Ancestral Healing– Understanding the Gifts of our Ancestors

Much of healing work is focused on clearing. This is especially true with spiritual work, in which the focus always seems to be on getting rid of things– trauma, patterns, belief systems, and more.

This is especially true with ancestral healing. Most people who are moderately or seriously into spiritual work or have done a lot of personal cultivation such as meditation understand that they have a lot of emotions and patterns that are not theirs. Beyond family and past life patterns, ancestral patterns are some of the first traumas and large emotions that come up to clear that are not “ours”.

Clearing and healing this stuff is often a really big deal. Life-long patterns of depression, feelings of stagnancy and inability to move forward, financial issues (some of them), and deeply held emotions that are not “ours” – meaning not from our lifetime– are rarely understood or broached in our most external, consensual reality (the one we all agree upon, the one in which modern psychotherapy is in as well). It is just now being “discovered” by many “fringe” science groups that the emotions and experiences of our ancestors can have an effect on us.

Spiritual healers have, of course, known this for many years. The ancestral layer… the one that contains the traumas, the experiences, and the beliefs of our ancestors… is in fact passed down to us. We are rarely conscious of it, and are unable to realize why we are so angry, or grief-stricken, or depressed, or even question why we cannot progress beyond a certain point in our lives, when we have no cause (or have worked through the causes) for the trauma, the emotions, and experiences of our own lifetime.

So clearing of this level is profound, and necessary. This level was extremely profound for me personally, as has all ancestral work been when I began to explore it and work with it slowly and over an extended period of time.

But our ancestors also have gifts for us. This is rarely looked at because there is so much focus and “discovery” about how trauma is passed down that affects us. The gifts and abilities and understandings and wisdom of our ancestors flow through our veins. They are always present with us. We only need to learn how to access them.

When we learn how to work with our ancestors our world transforms. While many of the spiritual guides, deities, and spirits that we encounter may care about us, and our lives, it is often in a sort of expanded, focused on the spirit sort of way. Ancestors deeply care about our lives, about us, and can help us through our external reality in a profound manner. Through the financial worries, the stress of our jobs, our household, and our lives as a whole. They can help us, guide us, and teach us in a profound yet often practical way.

This can help anyone have more ease in their lives. We can also discover what gifts, or traits, flow through our bloodlines from our ancestors. When we have the ability to focus on these gifts we are able to become stronger, and more who we truly and vitally are.

Many people who contact me also have spiritual gifts that run through their ancestry. Most highly sensitive people, or people truly called to spiritual work, have it happen because it is a sort of genetic trait– meaning that other people in your family were sensitive or psychic, or were spiritual workers. Ideally this would be known and cultivated in the family. In most cases it is not, as we have culturally gone through long periods of violence towards anyone who has spiritual gifts, and it simply was likely not safe to work with them or even talk about them in an open manner.

So while ancestral healing and clearing is profound and necessary, so is discovering how to communicate with your ancestors, how to find out and claim the gifts of your ancestry. 

Resolving any large pattern (such as an ancestral pattern) that is creating a lot of chaos and strong emotions can be simple yet profound to do. It creates the ability to let go of things that are not yours and to move forward in your life in a profound manner. It is deeply healing, and often necessary for anyone who is “waking up”. It is a huge layer with often many patterns that have been handed down.

But claiming your ancestral gifts and learning how to communicate with your ancestors is a simple process that is about gaining. Gaining understanding, gaining clarity, gaining wisdom. All you need to do is learn how to communicate properly and safely.

I am able to help people clear their ancestral traumas, patterns, and emotions, as well as learn how to communicate with their ancestors in a simple way, and to learn about the unique gifts and/or traits of their ancestry. If you are interested in an ancestral healing session, or learning how to communicate and work with the gifts of your ancestry, you can contact me. I do sessions worldwide via Skype/phone.

You can also read more about working with your ancestry here and here.

The Beauty of Anger and Rage

When I was younger I kept my anger under wraps, stuffing it way below the surface and way below my every-day consciousness because it was just too much, and as a short, too skinny and ethereal looking small child it really wasn’t culturally appropriate for me to express the anger that I felt. As I have previously talked about, I also had the tendency to pick up the emotions of others and the environment around me which led to a roller coaster of emotions that I did not have the tools or realizations to understand at the time.

As I got older I got involved with bodywork, which teaches how to clear this anger… the anger of old traumas and experiences. This work was (and is) enormously helpful, and clearing the anger that I had towards my early childhood and my experiences of this world were integral in my ability to live in this world with a sort of ease.

Beyond that anger there was anger from my family, ancestry, from society, and even the world that I then processed. I did this again as a sort of way to clear any sort of residual expression or experience that was not of my current Self or that wasn’t vitally mine… anything that did not need to be there I cleared, anything that was blocked or harming free flow of energy through me rose.

After this point I began to realize the power of anger. There was a time in my life that I looked at any emotion as “bad”. I stopped myself from experiencing any emotions that I considered “bad” which ironically also had the effect of stifling any “good” emotions from truly expressing. I began to see that no emotion is bad, that they are all expressions of divinity.

It is easy to engage in the sort of new-age platitudes that only light and love are divine and everything else is dark, evil, “of a negative vibration” (one of my favorites), and to judge and dismiss others because they have anger or any other sort of emotion.

A realization about emotions came to me. That I deeply feared them, and the expression of them. That most other people do the same. All emotions boil down to fear. This realization was profound for me, as I began to look at not only the “negative” or “destructive” emotions that I held but also the “positive” and how I feared expressing those.

Most people will not allow for themselves to be happy or angry out of fear. It is a fear of our most primal, emotional selves. A fear that if we really got to know ourselves, we wouldn’t like what we would find. A fear that we could really be everything we want to be and have everything we wanted and accomplish what we really want to in this world. A fear of knowing with total and complete certainty who we are.

I then began to see all emotions as part of divinity with individual divine currents. The current of anger is one also of outward expression, of getting things done and of a primal sort of sexuality. The current of grief is one of inward reflection and creativity. The current of joy is an outward expression of vitality and often physical health. The current of fear is one of inward expression, questioning, and a stopping of any momentum in our lives.

I began to see these all as beautiful, unique expressions of divinity, with different purposes, flows, and intentions. 

In an ideal state we would embrace all of our emotions as ourselves. We would have compassion for the most evil aspect of ourselves as well as the shiniest aspects of joy. All too often we do not allow for ourselves to explore or embrace either… so we are stuck in a middle ground of repressed emotions and fears… lashing out at anyone and everyone around us. 

When we truly explore our emotions, sit with them, embody them in the most divine of ways we are able to divorce them from specific people in our lives. The person who is saying bad things about us at the office is just seen as who they are– a person filled with fear and anger. The person who doesn’t understand is seen as who they are– as someone filled with repressed anger and fear to the extent that they are not willing or even able to understand. People simply are who they are, and most people really struggle with emotions. They cannot allow themselves to sit with or express rational and appropriate anger, to feel the divine flow of anger, because of all of the anger they have stored… they are unwilling or unable or not conscious (or unwilling to be conscious) of the amount of stored anger they have, or even the idea that they have anger. They fear because they know that they have this anger, no matter how mild mannered, meek, or love and light they try to appear. They fear all of the angry, disassociated, parts of themselves and constantly berate themselves, and by extension anyone else, who has anger… even healthy and appropriate anger. They cannot have true joy and bliss in their lives because they fear it. 

We are all aspects of divinity. We are all light. Most of us are struggling on the surface, disassociating from any sort of embodiment or emotion because we are unable to recognize that all aspects of ourselves are divinity itself. I wish for every one of you to wake up to the understanding that all emotions and all aspects of yourself are divine without question.

When we realize that everyone is divine, that all emotions are divine, we can sit back and divorce ourselves from the chaos of others. From the layers and layers of struggle, chaos, sleep, and anger that they are attempting to shove down into some deep layer of their psyche or the fear that organizes and terrorizes their lives. We can feel compassion for who they are and the fact that they struggle to such a great extent.

Most people really need to feel that there are aspects of themselves that are “bad” or “evil”, and in the repression of those emotions (which are readily seen in their energy field by someone like me) they are not allowing themselves to truly move forward, to progress, or to experience bliss and joy on a deep level.

I encourage people to sit with their emotions… all of them… and realize why they might think that they are “bad”. What is wrong with anger? What is wrong with fear? What is wrong with the darkest emotion we can currently recognize? What would happen if we befriended our anger, our hate… had compassion for the fear? What would happen if we talked with our fear… if we thanked our fear for protecting us… and then let it know it does not need to protect us to the extent that it is? What if we did this gently, without condemning any emotion that arises? If we saw the beauty of anger to the same extent we saw the beauty of joy?

I worked with a spiritual healer for a short while who fed on emotions like anger. He said that we wasted them, and that they were a source of power that we willingly just threw away. We are only too willing to become disassociated, disembodied, and give away our power out of fear. What would happen if we saw our own power? The power of our own emotions? If we allowed the pure divine force and current of everything is this world flow through us? What would happen if we put down the facades, the masks, and the judgement of anger or anything else that we experience? If we actually allowed ourselves to feel it, to allow it to flow through us, instead of saying that we are “spiritual” or “light” and that anything other than bliss (which we will not experience ironically if we do not feel other deep currents of emotion like anger) needs to be shoved down, disassociated from, or for us to pretend that it is not there?

What would happen is that we would become whole, embodied individuals who experience divine flow on a regular basis. We would be able to move forward with large leaps in our lives. We would experience the full continuum of emotions… fear, anger, joy, grief, happiness, bliss… and they would all inform our lives with their separate divine flows. We would see other people as who they are– divinity itself struggling with its own layers of trauma, chaos and fear that is holding it back from expressing itself. We would see that people are holding themselves back from really experiencing life… from experiencing anything good or bad… and often only make a small amount of progress in an entire lifetime out of fear. People are vitally unique expressions of the divine. They just don’t realize that, so they hold themselves back, sabotage themselves, and treat aspects of themselves as “bad” or “evil”, not realizing that in castigating these emotions, judging these emotions in others, that they are showing their own unprocessed emotions and trauma, their own lack of embodiment and wholeness, to the world.

The world and our emotions, our physical body, our primal selves, and anything else we can name that is within ourselves is a blissful if we let it be. Everything within ourselves can be sat with, loved, and held in a safe place. I imagine a world where we all sat with our emotions, where we processed them appropriately, where we treated them all with compassion and love. It would be a beautiful place.