Monthly Archives: May 2015

Spiritual Advice: Processing of Energy, Soul Retrieval, and Proper Aftercare

Mary-

I recently worked on someone who had a soul retrieval done, and she said she had had many lifetimes of horrific deaths and suicides brought back in, which she then had to integrate. This led to months of anger and depression, as her body tried to process it. My question is, do we need to process all of our spiritual experiences through our bodies? It was affecting her spleen and liver systems. She was “digesting” it. It seems like many people have superficial spiritual experiences. They are too happy, like they haven’t been dragged through the muck! Do we usually digest the information or whatever in order to really integrate and experience it? Are there other routes or pathways? Can we just let some things go, or keep them on a less physical level and still have them be real?  I know this question is getting weird…

Katie

Hi Katie-

So the short answer is yes, we need to process things through our physical bodies, our physical container for us to consider it to be real and for it to have an effect on our physical, external lives. We hold all of our experiences in our body– our current lifetime, past lives, ancestry, karma… and even larger patterns like societal patterns, family patterns, and even the whole Universe (I will not go there this blog) that are not technically “of us”.

For the “lower” patterns (stuff that actually has to do with us like our current lifetime, past lives, and our ancestry) anything that has a charge stays in our bodies. This typically is thought of as negative stuff– emotions and experiences that were too overwhelming at the time to process (like a death in a past life)  or various traumas in our own life that were too emotional or too much for us to deal with at the time. This energy then gets consolidated and walled off in our bodies. 

As a side note, we also carry the wisdom of our ancestors, the joy of our past lives, and the beauty of our current life with us.. it just is a vibration around us rather than being walled off.

Dr. John Upledger (innovator of CranioSacral therapy) referred to this phenomena as an energy cyst– a localized area of walled-off, entropic energy. The body walls this energy and experience off in a localized area and then disassociates from it in order to keep the whole organism (our physical-mental-emotional-spiritual) continuum and our external day-to-day lives intact and reasonably functional.

In Shamanic work there is a thought that this energy actually leaves, or goes somewhere. This really isn’t true. We are always whole, all of the time. We just believe or create stories that we are not. What happens is that we actually are holding a trauma in our intestines from that time we got made fun of as a teenager, in our uterus from a previous life dying in childbirth, or in our heart from an ancestor losing a child and having an emotion of grief be too overwhelming. This energy then, as I said, walls off, still believing that the incident is still occurring because it simply doesn’t know any better. 

So we will have parts of ourselves that believe we are still a five year old whose father just left, or parts of ourselves that are still in a cycle of grief from our ancestors. Our minds, and then our physical bodies, wall this energy off so we can go about our lives without having to deal with the energy. In reality, we are whole, but our minds have fractured. And then our body-mind fractures, leading often to physical issues in the localized area of the “energy cyst”.

So in a soul retrieval the story of that energy cyst comes up to the surface to be released and integrated. The difficulty with this is that it then has to process. Meaning that if we have an energy cyst in our liver that is pretty large that contains a lot of anger and depression we are going to have to deal with that, to integrate that.

All that being said, the practitioner should know how to help the client/patient cycle that energy, have a basis in working with trauma so they can recognize when an experience from the past shouldn’t be uncovered (or fully uncovered), and provide appropriate aftercare to deal with the ramifications of such an energy.

It is somewhat rare that spiritual practitioners, who often operate outside of the licensing process, have an understanding and appreciation of emotional health and trauma response (the physiology of trauma, basically) to understand if an experience is too much to uncover, and to help their patient through when they do uncover something deeply traumatic. Trauma is real, and it has real, physiological consequences. If the practitioner is not trained in trauma response, I suggest that they pair up or learn to refer to someone experienced in trauma response. My personal favorite is Somatic Experiencing practitioners, who are typically open-minded as well as have gone through a three year training (or more) just in trauma work and know everything about how trauma shows up and how to process it. Nobody should have to process their trauma alone. It is much harder to do so, and to have the perspective when you are overwhelmed and emotional to do so, especially if it is something as removed from our current lifetime as past lives (but really, in any case).

It is also rare that spiritual practitioners do appropriate aftercare. Although a different subject, I have worked with people who have gone to the jungle and through Ayahuasca ceremonies and come back deeply traumatized because of sheer overwhelm at the amount of material coming up to process at one time. Our body-mind fractures for a reason, and it takes a sound mind to be able to process this stuff. Ideally for something like a soul retrieval, especially if they are working with an energy cyst that contains multiple lifetimes there would be a minimum of three appointments (ideally five). This means that the “shaman” would do the soul retrieval (sometimes this may take more than one session) and would schedule appointments weekly, or bi-weekly, to deal with the processing of energy and residual energy that comes up. This unfortunately does not happen too often, and the client is left with an energy cyst burst open and to deal with the residue and trauma on their own. If the spiritual practitioner does not want to deal with the residue, again I suggest a referral to a Somatic Experiencing practitioner, or an Acupuncturist, another Spiritual practitioner or Energy Worker who can help this energy clear out. 

So if I were to summarize this the answer is yes we need to process things. But the answer is also no, we do not need to have months of processing or deal with the process alone. Although integration and re-orientation can take longer than this period of time, the longest that someone should have to deal with really intense energy and emotion after a Soul Retrieval or any sort of energy cyst/emotional clearing process is three days. What happens after that period of time, or if the practitioner brings something up into consciousness that the patient wasn’t ready for the client/person just becomes re-traumatized and forms another energy cyst out of the current as well as past experiences that were brought up.

This means that they should have a follow-up appointment (or at the very least a check-in) with their spiritual worker or another professional if any emotion or experience is still lingering. And the spiritual practitioner should ethically be aware of when a big process is starting to do follow-up appointments and referrals so their patient does not end up non-functional or even hospitalized (yes, unfortunately, it does happen on occasion if the spiritual practitioner is not versed in working with trauma).

Just for clarity, I will say how I do spiritual work with emotions/trauma and Soul Retrieval work. I will have someone come in or send me an email for distance work (not for Soul Retrieval, although that may be their interest… I do not do “pick and choose” appointments, I ask the energies I work with and do divination to see what type of spiritual work should be done). Based on the first appointment and how intense the experience is (or not, if the person has a sound body-mind or a milder experience or meditates a lot), I will do anything from just checking in a few days later and suggesting aftercare like salt baths and connecting to nature or having sex (yes, I suggest that sometimes) or watching a funny movie (yes, I suggest this a lot actually) to telling the client that there needs to be 1-3 more appointments in short succession (1-2 appointments a week).

If the person reports back (especially for distance work) that they are non-functional, or are really struggling after the work (which occasionally does happen, but not that often since I make it a policy to ask during the appointment the persons subconscious if they want to deal with a specific trauma and/or are ready to) I suggest a Somatic Experiencing practitioner in their local area (or a thoughtful therapist if they cannot find an SE practitioner) to ensure that they are safe. When they get out of the intense amount of struggle phase they can come back and I will help them process the rest of the energy. But it is our responsibility as spiritual workers to ensure that the people we see are safe as well as functional (especially after a few days) after we work with them. There is no reason for someone to be dealing with that much trauma and emotion over such an extended period of time. They are just being re-traumatized at that point.

I hope that helps, Katie. We can all help others as well as ourselves work with trauma, but if we are not qualified, there are a lot of people out there that specialize in it, and there is no reason to deal with it by ourselves. It is a beautiful thing to become more whole, to release emotions and experiences that likely have a huge impact on our lives, and if it is done with clarity, with understanding (of trauma and emotions on a deep level), and with appropriate care, it can have a huge positive effect on anyone willing to plumb those depths to become more realized and whole.

Spiritual Advice: What is Wrong with being a Lightworker?

Dear Mary:

I enjoy reading your blogs. It is nice that it is not a repeat of information like so many blogs tend to be. I appreciate the time and effort that you put into teaching about things that go beyond what is commonly taught or thought about. I do have a question though. In some of your blogs you talk about lightworkers. You speak about how you take issue with lightworkers and what they are doing, but I am not 100% clear why. I am a long time Reiki master and can see how there are some issues, but can you clarify this for me?

In appreciation,

Mel

Hi Mel-

Thanks for the email! (If anyone wants to submit a question for my spiritual advice column they can by contacting me with the heading “spiritual advice” and I will answer it if it would make a good blog and/or I am able to).

I have no difficulty with bringing more light into the world, of people doing good or thinking positively. We actually need that in this world, and more of it is always wonderful. What I take issue with is the lightworker community thinking that anything “not light”– and by that I mean their individual and often very puritanical and judgmental version of what “not light” means is– is “bad”, “wrong”, “ego”, or whatever modifier they put on it and is cast aside so that they can only focus on the “light”.

Lightworkers often use the “light” as a way to judge everyone around them (even if they are talking constantly about how “nonjudgmental” they are) and use only focusing on the “light”, the safe, the positive as a way to not look at the world around them, to not look at people, cultures, economic realities, or other situations different than them, and often to not do anything but sit in judgment and victim blame people who are having difficulty in their lives.

It is easy when life is going well to judge other people for attracting negative elements in their lives. It is easy to say that there is a reason for everything, and if something negative happens to someone (diseases, murders, rapes, finances, homelessness, and even smaller things like bugs in the house or cars breaking down, for example, or for spiritual happenings anything from curses to spirits in the house to bad dreams) that they deserved it and/or attracted it to themselves. This is utter bullshit (pardon my language). There are so many different layers of existence, and the reason that a five year old is homeless, or that a woman (or man) just got raped or mugged or killed often has nothing to do with them. And if it does, it has to do with karma (as in, not the new-age definition of karma but as in they are replaying or dealing with an action in a prior lifetime that only vaguely has to do with them in their current incarnation).

As much as the “lightworker” community feigns ignorance (or is actually ignorant) there is more out there than just you creating the universe singularly. There are societal, communal, and global energies that create the world… and beyond that cosmic flows…and we all have ancestral, family, and even past life patterns informing our current existence. Most of us are not aware of any of these patterns and how they make up and/or inform our singular existence. Although it can be really comforting to think in an odd way that a starving five year old somehow “attracted” this energy to her and if you just think positively you will never be homeless, or need food, or have to deal with anything “dark” it simply isn’t true.

The other huge illusion in the “lightworker” community is one of control. All lightworkers I have met have this huge illusion of control. That if only they think correctly, or go to the right amount of yoga classes, or only “journey” to the upper and lower worlds in core shamanism, or don’t read or look at “dark” or “bad” things, that they will be in control of every aspect of their lives and their outer world and their lives will be complete enlightened bliss. This isn’t what any version of actual awakening is like (read my what it is like to be awake here) but helps lightworkers feel like they are in control of everything, including the cosmos, and if they are just positive enough they will get the new car or house they have been wanting.

The biggest difficulty I have with lightworkers, though… is not that they are judgmental, or lack compassion, or victim blame, or try to control everything in the world around them out of a huge misguided fear of control and sub-realization that they are not in fact in control (which is where all of this fear and need for control actually comes from, and why so many of these LOA and other “gurus” can so easily create memes and programs and illusions that are rather meaningless but incredibly popular), and all of the illusions… it is that they do not take care of their own issues, and with the amount of light that grows the amount of darkness grows that needs tending. 

Let me explain. When you take Reiki classes, or you go to a Shamanic workshop, or start getting interested in whatever spiritual or religious path there is a good chance that you will, at least temporarily, be growing your light. In simple terms, this means that the possibility of awakening, or awakening has started… you are beginning to remember or understand your spiritual path (or at least be interested in it), and you are actively sending energy into the world and being in the world in that state.

This can be wonderful. We need more light in this world. But the more light you are aware of the more darkness comes up. It comes up to heal, to be worked with… and to be loved. Darkness isn’t “bad”. It is beautiful. It is as beautiful and special and crucial for awakening as the “light”. It is all light, in fact, the darkest black and the whitest white.

But anyone who is on a spiritual path, anyone who is on any sort of healing path, anyone who is in the awakening process has a responsibility to take care of their own shit. You cannot fault people who are asleep for reenacting their patterns again and again, for putting themselves back to sleep when they are wounded or feel out of control. But people who are awakening are having their issues rise to the surface. Their issues are more active, basically. And these issues, if not taken care of, go into the consciousness of the collective grids. 

Basically, anything you do not take care of is taken up by the collective shadow, by societal, communal, and world energies. It is how war is created, it is how the Kardashians are created… And people who are “awakening” (which all lightworkers are to some degree) have a bunch of energy that is “dark” or rather uncomfortable that is coming up to deal with. And most of them do not. So it goes out into the world.

That is my difficulty with the lightworker community. That beyond the many illusions of control that are created (I still think it is odd anyone thinks they can control the cosmos let alone the spiritual realms)…that beyond the fact that I frequently work doing “fix-it” work from well-meaning but ignorant spiritual practitioners who victim-blamed people, who didn’t help people, or who screwed people up royally… that beyond the fact that they think that everything can be taken care of by sending white (or purple, whatever the trend is these days) light… that lightworkers are not taking care of their own issues that are arising, so those issues are becoming a part of the collective grids, and are just adding on more illusion, more sleep, more anger, more fear, more control issues, more shadow into a world that is already drowning in illusion and neglect of anything considered “dark” or “bad”.

It is only by loving ourselves… every inch of ourselves.. both “good” and “bad”… both “light” and “dark”.. that we can become fully awakened, that we can become fully embodied, fully healed. It is by reconciling ourselves, being at peace with our emotions (all of them), the murderous aspects of ourselves, the demons that we have inside, the fears that we have, the things we have done yet dare not say, the impulses and sexual urges and “sins” that we can do so. They do not need to be cast aside. They do not need to have illusions heaped on top of them. They do not need to be cleared. They need to be loved every bit as much as the brightest happiest joy filled wave of bliss. This is how we stop putting things into the collective. This is how we go beyond illusion. This is how we awaken.

I am now accepting new submissions for the spiritual advice column. If you have a question, feel free to contact me with the heading “spiritual advice”, and I will answer your question if it would make for a good blog and if I can actually answer it.

Processing World Energies: The World Grid

I am not the type to typically complain, or even comment on the flow of world energies. I understand (and have had many astrologers back me up) that Mercury Retrograde has people feeling off because they attach such importance to it, and fifteen years ago was around the time that most people started blaming all of their computer issues on Mercury Retrograde.

Similarly, I think that many people in spiritual communities ascribe issues that are actually their own to happenings in the world. I am the type of person that if I drop a hammer on my foot I am going to look to my own clumsiness and question my own issues before I look to the world, or the cosmos, or a being or energy influencing me causing that happening. The worst sort of fake psychic in my opinion is the one who says the day after a bombing, terrorist attack, plane crash, or celebrity dying that they knew it was going to happen because they had a dream or premonition about it. It is tacky, and it is typically the lowest level awareness type of “psychic” who does this sort of thing to prove how awakened they are. I have said it before, but if you are something, and you know you are something (be it a psychic or a mechanic or a teacher or a meditator or whatever you can possibly imagine) you no longer need to prove yourself. You just are.

While I can appreciate astrology (even though I am at only a surface level understanding of it for the most part, and am totally fine with that) the focus in spiritual communities on astrologers putting out forecasts telling us to “brace ourselves” or that “huge energies and shifts are coming our way” or whatever they are saying (do you ever notice none of them say that it is going to be a lovely blissful time of peace?) only serves to perpetuate and create a state of fear and hyper-reaction amongst the spiritual set. This serves to magnify an energy that likely is there, but not to the extent that most people are even aware of or need to process. I always love the expression when you hear hoofbeats look for horses not zebras. While not a perfect aphorism for this context, it shows what most people do: they focus on anything seemingly outside of themselves and are in a permanent state of reaction to energies that they very likely are not even feeling to a great extent.

I also know that by going online and participating in spiritual communities like I have over the past decade that people love to ascribe all of their issues to something outside of themselves. It makes things spiritual… and they do not have to take personal responsibility for them. They can just form groups that all feed off of each other energetically and create huge thoughtforms and grids and illusions magnifying the effects of these supposed energies. When we have dealt with our own issues, for the most part, even the flows of the largest energies from the cosmos do not cause us a great deal of pain. They are just a part of divine flow. We move from a state of reaction to one of simply noticing.

Typically to process most world events you just have to be open enough, and aware enough, to process larger energies through you. This means you have taken care of your own traumas, your family traumas, ancestral issues, past lives, and all of those belief systems and illusions… that you have awakened to community and social and state and country type of grids of energy. As we get further out, the energies and the grids get larger. What may be a small stream of energy from our community turns into a tidal wave of energy from the world.

These grids, these energies, flow through all of us. Most of us are not awake enough to notice them. Most of us are so focused on ourselves (or we need to be focused on ourselves) that we cannot even look to what is directly influencing us– our family, ancestry, etc. So the fact that all of us interface with world energies and only some of us are conscious of it means that only some of us are really noticing these grids in actuality. It means that most people have so much stuff of a personal nature to take care of that the illusion that much of their issues are caused by Mercury Retrograde is comforting. And in fact the fear and illusion of Mercury Retrograde that is created by society, on a societal level, on a spiritual community level, is enough to intensify any spiritual happening much past its actual nature.

All that being said, some of us are awake or sensitive enough to interface with the grid of global energies. For some people this can be very difficult and disorienting, especially because it is not talked about and if you have a bunch of “stuff” in front of it (all of the other layers of you, your family, ancestry, belief systems and trauma etc) that feeling a huge grid of energy, a huge wave of energy, only magnifies all of the “lower level” issues rather than being just a huge wave of energy that informs your existence. There is also a lot of understandable fear that happens, as people who can see/hear/feel/smell this type of grid are freaked out because they don’t know what to do, why this is happening, or even what it is. They don’t know how to interact or work with this energy in any sort of healthy or beneficial way.

At a certain point we become fault lines for larger energies. They manifest through us, we process them. We process energies for ourselves, but also for our communities, for the world, and even for the cosmos. But as these energies are flowing through us (if we are sensitive/ awake enough to notice or feel them) they bring up our other stuff we haven’t processed yet. This stuff may be painful. So this large wave of energy is flowing through us… and we will have to process the wave of energy as well as the layers and layers of unprocessed belief systems, illusions, and traumas coming from many sources that are present in more superficial layers of ourselves.

In addition, sometimes things happen in the world, like this week, that cause a massive wave of energy to come through the world grid. It actually doesn’t happen that often. World energies are pretty wide and big. But sometimes this energy rather than being simply a big energy, or even a tidal wave, becomes a massive multi-story typhoon. And this is enough to wipe anyone out, to completely change their outlook on things, and basically to put anyone sensitive to these energies into a state of overwhelm. Even the most integrated, healthy, and balanced awakened person can be caught off guard by certain huge energies, just because they are so large and take a while to process.

So I have no idea what was happening this week. I know it was from the world grid (as opposed to other grids like cosmic, societal, communal, etc which all have different energies and feels to them). It is ending now (or soon) but it was difficult on a lot of sensitive and/or awakened people to integrate, and resulted in a lot of personal change. So although I am not a person who seeks to look outside of myself, who seeks to blame my headache on the cosmos or a bombing that happened half a world away… it is important to know that these energies can be worked with, they can be integrated in 99 percent of cases. But that 1 percent that we can’t is a good time to surrender and simply allow that change to occur. And when we get back to a state of normalcy, a state of functionality, we can begin the process of understanding and working through what occurred. But it is always important to note that we do react to huge energies that are not “us”… but most of the time and in 99 percent of cases if we had cleared our own stuff, or our family, ancestral, past lives… and progressed through and understood the lower grids that we wouldn’t be in a state of reaction. We would just be in a state of noticing.

I realize that this may be the first time you have been introduced to world grids, or the grid system overall. You can read a bit more about them here but in reality it is important to have a physical teacher to help you understand and process things. It is possible to go to a state of participation and noticing of even the most intensive spiritual divine flows. They can be quite beautiful. But if you do not know how to handle them, or what is going on, they can be painful, and difficult, and cause a lot of issues. You can contact me if you are interested in a reading (in which I can tell you what you are reacting to, what your individual sensitivities are, etc) or to schedule a session for sensitives (read more here) so we can talk about how to understand, work with, and consciously participate in the larger energies that comprise the Universe.

Spiritual Advice: Control, Law of Attraction, and the true nature of Enlightenment

This letter has been edited…you can read the whole letter as a response/comment to the blog on Kundalini, Spiritual Awakening, and Control here (click on comments).

My dear Mary,

I understand that there is a pervasive attitude in the new age community which seems to be telling us that we can affect all aspects of reality by means of our will alone, at least in theory. This is interpreted to mean many things and a lot of what is touted as “law” or a consequence of this “undeniable truth” does often seem naive and misinterpreted (or just straight up wrong), and can result in a ‘blaming the victim’ sort of approach to “helping” people, (or advising them on how to help themselves); nonetheless, I must admit it: even though I accept fate, I also believe in the affecting of reality via the will!

Is it not both?

I have read a lot about the methods of becoming more successful at ‘manifestation’ (ie prayer, meditation, visualization, affirmation, ritual, spell, cultivation of subconscious belief, etc.) — and with actually many years of practice now I am of the opinion that something more than confirmation bias is responsible for what appears to be a development in my ability to affect reality. This belief, that I have a degree of power and control previously unrecognized, or undeveloped, has been a major catalyst in my spiritual development and study of philosophy and other abstract matters. I have a better life now than I once did.

But in those moments of intense existential fear, or of strongly disliking some aspect of my life and very much wanting it to change, I  am deeply comforted by the illusion/knowledge of control. And the idea that it’s an illusion really scares me, as do the existential/Buddhist concepts of life having no inherent meaning. This can be extremely depressing on lonely, rainy days.

I guess the main thing I want to ask is, are you sure that those of us at the lower levels of awareness really benefit from the idea that we have no control, or mightn’t some of us be nourished by our ‘law of attraction’ paradigm? I feel that I am, but at the same time, I’m still rather fearful and as much as I hate to admit it, I do feel that as long as life is going well, it’s easy to look at other peoples misfortunes and comfort ourselves by saying ‘well, they attracted that at the subconscious level’ and I suspect that this is a head-in-the-sand thought maneuver. At the same time, in all honesty, I do believe that at some level this is utterly true, wrong (both morally & theoretically) as that may seem to some.

Also, and this is in response to a certain message you’ve gotten across in other blogs about our individual puniness, are you not in line with the concept that we are united in essence with God, and an extension, yet identical in substance, of this Force, and therefore powerful little limbs in our own right? Cheesy as it may seem to some, the LOA idea that we are “co-creating with the universe” remains one of the most profound spiritual concepts I ever embraced, and as an added bonus it seems to solve the free-will/determinism problem in a way that western philosophy never could (and I literally majored in philosophy). I guess I just want to know if, due to being at a kundalini-unleashed level of awareness, this idea also has been blown to smithereens, and/or could it still be valid at the same time?

With love and respect,

Adriana

Hi Adriana-

Thank you for your thoughts. I find it easier, and more beneficial, to respond via blog because other people have made similar inquiries. What you are coming up against are paradoxes, and in simplicity what I would say is that when people gain spiritual awareness/awakened state something can easily be true and false at the same time.

By that I mean that the LOA is true… but it is also very false at the same time. At the deepest spiritual levels we do not have any control. Things flow as they are intended to… and when we are awake we can realize that flow and capitalize on the opportunities and energies of that flow. This is one of the deepest, and most difficult lessons for anyone who is undergoing a spiritual awakening to deal with.

We love control. The idea that we do not have any on the deepest levels is terrifying. Most people come to spiritual matters, to spirituality itself because they are unhappy with their lives. They are unhappy with themselves. The spiritual precepts (that are very true by the way) that we are divine, that we are beautiful, that we are something, and that we have a specific spiritual path with specific unique attributes to bring to this world is extraordinarily appealing. Most of us have felt so horrible about ourselves and dislike our lives to the extent that these precepts are what we look for.

The same is true about oneness. We are lonely. We are isolated. We feel like nobody cares for us. Many of us feel like screaming out about what our lives have become, who we have become because in our hearts we know that things could be different “if only”. So the idea that we are all connected, that we are all part of one big flow of divinity is immensely appealing.

And these precepts are true, by the way. They just are also false. There have been illusions created on top of these precepts, intellectualization of these concepts, and these concepts are read and seen by people who are still dealing with the very real experience of feeling isolated, of having poor self-worth, of hating their lives. This intellectualization has created a lot of mythology about what these experiences, what the direct experience of these states is actually like. And a lot of falsehood.

So yes, it is very comforting for people to believe that they alone create the Universe, or are co-creating the Universe, it is very comforting for people to believe that we are all oneness like a congealed blob, and that if they were only “awake” enough, or went to go to yoga or did certain meditations or got the right spirit guide that their lives would be bliss, that all of their self-worth issues, their isolation, and their hatred would disappear.

But, quite frankly, I do not talk about that or to those people because 99 percent of the information in the spiritual community is for those people. Those concepts are comfortable, and people are welcome to them. But there is a certain percentage of the population who is ready to go beyond those ideas, and there is very little material out there for those people who are actually awakening, or actually struggling with realizing that the intellectualization of these spiritual precepts is false.

Most people are creating a lot of illusions out of these precepts. They only “think positively” because to think negatively is “bad”, they only “journey” to specific places in Shamanism because everything else is “dangerous”, they will not think about other cultures and how they are appropriating their spiritual precepts because they are entitled to them without doing any work or actually understanding (which may take decades) of what a specific spiritual path is. They think oneness means to not judge anyone ever and that we are all the same, because the person thinking this feels inferior. They think spirituality is somewhere “out there” because of hatred for the physical form and their physical realities. They think that if only they were spiritual enough they would be able have complete and total control over their lives… because in our hearts we realize that we could die tomorrow, we could be murdered, we could be in a plane crash or be raped or be homeless… and the illusion that if we only think hard enough or are spiritual enough that this stuff wouldn’t happen to us is very, very comforting.

To dispel that illusion though… for complete and total clarity… the homeless five year old child who is starving didn’t do anything wrong, the woman who lost her job with three kids to support and is being evicted didn’t do anything wrong, the woman who just got raped down the corner didn’t do anything wrong, and the man who died after being mugged didn’t do anything wrong. On the surface level, we can judge them, or say they were wearing the wrong clothes or it must be “karma” or not look at them at all, because to do so would ruin our illusions of control. That if we were in complete and total control our lives would totally be ours and we would never have to worry about death, taxes, and hierarchy of needs type issues (food, clothing, shelter, etc). Nobody wants to think about that there are bigger energies, bigger issues out there, than self-created issues. And there are. 

We create our world to a certain extent. But other people are creating theirs. And they might not be willing to deal with their issues, or unable to deal with their issues. And they might break into your house and harm you. As communities we create our world, as a society, as a world. And then the cosmos creates our world. And we have some control, we have our individual will… but we do not have control over others to the extent we think we do (i.e. not everything/everyone is a mirror), and all of the new-agers who only want to think positively and judge everyone who is poor or homeless or whatever else because it will never happen to them because they are “spiritual” and “think right” is actually actively participating and creating the cultural and world shadow that creates the situations in which black teenagers get shot by police, or wars, or hate crimes… because they are not willing to look at their own shit, basically, and it enters the communal and world shadow.

To get to the heart of your question, though… The LOA is true to a certain extent. To achieve something we must have spiritual, mental, and physical alignment (basically). The simplest way to talk about this is getting a new car. If we focus our mental awareness on manifesting a new car (LOA or mantras or vision boards or simply thinking about it)  and we focus on the physical aspects of it (saving money, getting another part time job, doing research on cars and finance plans, etc) and it is in the appropriate spiritual alignment (meaning that it is the divine right time for us to get a car, the energies of the Universe, so to speak are creating the opportunity for us to have one) then we will likely get the car. If one of these is really out of balance (spiritual, mental, or physical) we will not. So yes, you can think your car into existence. But you also need to have a job that can pay for all of your daily expenses and a car. And it also needs to be the right divine timing for one. If one of those is somewhat off, we will get the car, but struggle. When everything is in alignment– physical, mental, and spiritual– we generally get what we want out of this world. But when we are in that state, what we “want” changes, and the realization that profound spiritual energies flow through us and create our world and that no matter who we are we die, get diseases, and have stuff happen in our lives, also happens.

It is easy to think that if we were in control we would get whatever we would want. We would be rich, we would have the perfect body, we would feel connected to everyone, we would love everyone, we would love ourselves. Finally. We would know what we were intended to do here on Earth and our misery would cease.

Most people who are awakening get to the “highs” of spiritual happenings and stop, just going from experience to experience looking for that high like an addict. They do not progress. Most people who are somewhat awake (awake enough to be interested in the subject) go to the gurus, the spiritual precepts, and the books that will facilitate them feeling better about their lives, that make them believe that if they only took this class or did this thing or were more awake that their lives would be total bliss and they would be multi-millionaires. They do not move on from this understanding because they do not want to, and they are left in a state of perpetual wanting, always seeking the next guru or book or meme or Oprah show to show them the next thing they should do, the next surface spiritual path they should take.

For others who are actually awakening they discover that the direct understanding of these spiritual precepts is true. We are all connected, we are all one, we are all divine, we are all in bliss… we find our purpose and know why we are here, we have access to power and feel “big” and discover our self-worth and are embodied and integrated and know what is going on in the world… but we are simultaneously very small, and not that big of a deal, and that we can have stuff happen in our lives no matter how “spiritual” we are… and that looking from the vantage point of being awakened you can be simultaneously in oneness and also isolated, that you can feel bliss and full of self-worth and embodied and also feel sorrow, and pain at the same time.

I hope that provides food for thought. I wish you the best on your path. It is admirable that you are willing to be uncomfortable, that you are willing to look at things beyond the level you are currently at. This trait leads to true awakening… which is beautiful and blissful and wonderful… just not in the ways that is marketed to you.

Mary