Monthly Archives: March 2015

Working with Your Ancestral Line

In my practice I do Ancestral Healing (I will talk about this in a future blog and how significant/important this is) but I also teach people how to work with their ancestors and the power of the ancestral line.

This is often a crucial step that is simply not taken by many modern practitioners and spiritual seekers. This is often because many practitioners first come across spiritual paths and understandings that are not of their own heritage. That, or they do not see the significance of working with their ancestors.

In modern spiritual practice it is common to take a deity from one culture, spiritual ideas from another, or work within the context of a “spiritual system” that has been created (often unknowingly to the participant) out of a hodge-podge of Peruvian, Eastern, South American, Native American, and other indigenous-type sources and mixed with psychological mechanisms and self-help ideologies. Unless you are from a deeply spiritual family or culture, this is where most modern practitioners first begin (and perhaps end) their path.

It is also true that most people interested in spiritual paths will try out one, not find immediate results, and will then go on to the next deity, the next spell, the next spiritual path or practice. This is how many people remain beginners in their understandings and practices– and subconsciously they may desire to remain beginners (which is fine, of course, I do not judge… this is simply a commentary for those of you who wish to go deeper and are realizing that you can).

But many of you may be ready to move forward, to move beyond the pop psychology and the marketing of the new-age canon. Maybe you are ready to finally commit yourself to a weekly or daily practice, to integrate spirituality in your life. To not only intellectualize it and create images out of your imagination and keep on attending workshops to get a temporary “high” but to have the direct experience of it. To let go of the fads in shamanism, magic(k), the occult, folk magic, and energy work. To learn how to cultivate power, to learn how to cultivate yourself. To step out of that path of beginner and finally begin to have concrete understandings and direct experiences of a spiritual nature.

For this I suggest working with your ancestral line. No matter how screwed up our current family is, or how many cultures and regions of the world we are comprised of, we have ancestors that can be strong spiritual allies. Our ancestral line is our power– it runs through our blood, it gives us our spiritual capabilities, it gives us our calling (if we have one to become a spiritual practitioner).

The cultures and places we are from (even if we have never physically visited) give us power. Our ancestors can give us protection and guidance if we know how to access them. It is typical to try to borrow the power, to feel the power of other cultures, to continually go to workshops and seek gurus whose power we can be in the presence of. I personally have a passion for folk medicine and spiritual and occult practices from many cultures that I am not from. I have learned a lot from them. But when we adopt other cultures as our own, when we appropriate them without the baseline of our own power, our own ancestry, often we are just mimicking power of other peoples’ ancestors. We have not cultivated our own.

I talk a lot about power in my practice because it is important. Most people have not developed any power. They believe they are powerless because of trauma, they believe that power needs to be given to them by taking classes or through their teachers. Real spiritual power comes from within. It at first comes from understanding who and what we are. This is our history, our lineage. After we understand this we can move on to greater spiritual powers. But first we must develop our own spiritual power. And that is done through understanding our ancestors, receiving guidance from them, and understanding what abilities and power flow through our lineage.

Working with your ancestral line is fairly simple but requires a bit of guidance. I say this because it is important to have an ancestral guardian– a point person to contact and work through, especially early on in the practice. There is a huge misunderstanding in the spiritual community that once people pass over they become all-knowing and wise. This is untrue (and typically people who have written books about communicating with their dead son or relative or whomever who suddenly starts espousing Osho after death when they were educated at a high school level and were a drug addict in life are accessing their higher self or are simply delusional with grief unfortunately). Simply because someone is dead does not mean they are all-knowing, know the totality of the cosmos, or are even in place of being able to help us out. We have all sorts of ancestors who need healing (again, a separate post I will do in the next few weeks). We have all sorts of ancestors that have not accessed their own power, who will simply give bad advice.

With that understanding, you need a spiritual practitioner that can help you to find your spiritual guardian and teach you how to access your ancestral line. Gradually many of you (especially if you are interested in going beyond beginner-dom and are resonating with this post) may become lineage bearers for your ancestral line– meaning that you carry the spiritual power of your entire line. Through an appointment together we can find out who your guardian is, set up your practice to honor and work with them, and begin to answer questions of what ancestral abilities and knowledge flow through you. Generally it is a one-time appointment to set you up with a practice that will give you power and guidance for the rest of your life, if you choose to cultivate it properly. This is often a huge step for people, and often takes them from being spiritual seekers (without finding or even knowing what they are looking for) to looking within and beginning to cultivate themselves and develop power on a rather deep level. If you are interested in doing so, you can contact me, and we can see if it is the right time for you to begin this practice.

Spiritual Advice: Seeing Energetic Lines and Grids

Hi there. I sometimes see energetic lines. Sometimes in my bed at night I lie awake and can see grids and lines. This has just been happening the last few years. Sometimes they just look like faint lines, sometimes they look like a tic tac toe grid, and other times they look like a big net. They are varying colors, blue, silver, or white mostly. When I describe them to people they don’t know what I am talking about or they say that they are in my head. A practitioner I went to told me that I was seeing the grids that make up the universe. Can you tell me more about this?- Empath in San Diego

Hi Empath-

Yes, what you are describing is what is known as the grid system. It is actually pretty rare that people can see these, sometimes people get a sense of them… but it suggests to me that you are actually pretty advanced and highly clairvoyant (clear seeing) if you can actually see them.

I will attempt to keep this simple. We have energies that make up ourselves. This is our personal history, our family history, past lives, and our ancestral history. These all have to do with us, our own stories, or own energies, who we vitally are as people. As an interesting side note, a lot of people are not able to see past this point and think that everything in the universe is about them, or a reflection of themselves. But there are many energies past this point.

When we get past the energies that make up us and how we came to be as individuals… meaning our individual belief systems, stories, and the energies that inform our personal spiritual path and personal energetic history, we come to communal energies. These are the grids, or nets.

Once we get beyond the idea that we make up the universe we realize that collectively we make up our communities, our society, our state, our country, our world. As individuals we feed energy into this system, and by taking personal responsibility for our part in it we can do a lot of good. But there are hundreds, thousands, and even millions of people creating these energetic grids.

These grids are the collective energies that we all blindly are under the thrall of (well, most of us are). They inform our thoughts, our activities, our cosmologies. There are many grids ranging from grids that are fairly close to us (our community grids) to grids that comprise the universe. Most people when they are waking up see the closest grids, those of the community and societal grids. There are specific colors to the grids, but I do not teach them to people because then they have an expectation and start to self-create the grids instead of actually experiencing them directly (this happens all the time with the chakra system and colors).

Once we wake up to these grids we can transcend them. We can notice how our community is under a collective thrall, how our society is largely in a sleeper state and wishes to remain in that state (this is how we get things like the Kardashians), and we can then choose to act differently. This means that when we go out to the local restaurant or movie theater and notice how collective energies are causing people to act a certain way, or that most people are really asleep (especially to this level) and are moving through their lives in a really unconscious state we can acknowledge that this is happening. When we do this we will naturally transcend this level and act differently. When we wake up to a grid we can understand it and break free from it. 

Ideally this would be done grid by grid, starting with the grids closest to us and working our way out to universal grids. I will say that there are some really highly psychic individuals who unfortunately are plugged into the really large grids that have huge energies (like the world or universal grid) and are really unskilled (meaning they do not have the tools to deal with it and have no idea what is happening) which can actually have pretty devastating consequences on their life and health.

It is also worth a mention that once we transcend the world and universal grids that there are grids that make up the outer energies of the universe, like the grid of archetypes, collective consciousness, and mythic layers, as well as geometric patterns. There are also energetic lines that create the world- the earth, our land, our homes… which can be seen, felt, and worked with by some people. And beyond all this is the void, then pure consciousness, pure divinity, freedom, an awakened state, etc. Each of these grids is within our own body as well as is reflected in the universe. The more we break free from not only our own Self layers (our own history, past lives, ancestral and family wounds and belief systems) and the collective layers (the grid systems and collective energies we create as communities, states, and the world), the more freedom that we have and the closer we are to a truly awakened state.

So in summary: Yes, you are seeing the grid system. You are seeing collective energies. Acknowledge them, meditate on them, see how they affect you and those around you. If they are making you ill or you are feeling off balance because of them you simply need some skills to navigate them.I suggest looking at my books, particularly Managing Psychic Abilities, if you are interested in learning what your psychic experiences may mean, and how to work with them, or my Discernment course.

Due to the amount of emails received, Mary is unable to offer advice, guidance, or referrals via email.

Spiritual Awakening and Isolation

One of the most common experiences on the spiritual path is a sensation of isolation and loneliness. This experience of isolation grows larger the more awakened we are, and can be illusory or a real experience based on having experiences and understandings that not many other people in the world have.

All over the world people are experiencing small or large manifestations of spiritual awakening. Initially these can be very isolating. One of the funniest things that I have found in my practice is that people with actually manifested psychic abilities or who are going through considerable spiritual awakenings will often consider the experience (at least at first and maybe for a considerable period of time after) negative, difficult, and isolating while people without psychic abilities (or with very mild psychic abilities) or who are not going through a significant spiritual awakening will loudly proclaim these experiences and do things like go up to people in grocery stores and say that their dead aunt is there, or will speak about their Kundalini awakening even though they do not know what one is. It is just the way of the world, and an interesting phenomena… people with actual psychic abilities and spiritual awakenings will often find them really isolating, especially if they are intense or significant experiences resulting in a much different understanding and view of society than what is commonly accepted as consensual reality.

In the beginning, when you are just waking up, the isolation is self-created and is also a construct of a society that does not really talk about such things. Most of us who are sensitive, psychic, or able to see beyond the cultural norm experience trauma in our lives because we think, feel, or see differently and more deeply than most people. We question things that nobody else would even think to. We are told that our experiences are not real, that there are no colors around people or that there is no way we can feel sad because the person next to us is sad. And that the feelings, these sensitivities, our experiences are not appropriate. This creates trauma patterns in which we self-isolate, feeling as if we are the only sensitive or the only person having spiritual or energetic experiences because we have been traumatized (at typically an early age) and told that our experiences, sight, feelings, and abilities are in some way not okay.

But there are millions of people “waking up”, in the beginning stages or intermediate stages of questioning. There are millions of people who notice that they are more sensitive, notice more, or see more than the general population does. There are millions of people drawn to spiritual practices, meditation, yoga, shamanism, tarot, herbalism, reiki, and healing practices because they are waking up. Many of these people will eventually find communities of like minds and begin to see that although larger society doesn’t talk about these experiences that there are many others with similar experiences that they can chat with, get advice from, and feel a communal bond with. Much of the isolation for these people will begin to alleviate or even disappear with this discovery… as the beginning and even intermediate “awakened” person finds their tribe of people who are on the same wavelength as they are. This is especially true if they can work through the and clear the initial experience of the teacher, parent, adult, or child that initially traumatized them and told them that their experiences were not valid, or were wrong to see/feel/sense.

But there is a point where spiritual experiences are isolating. It is no longer an illusion, nor self-created. It simply is. Most people, even those beginning to awaken, or who have been for a short or even long period of time, are still on the surface levels of reality. They are still participating in illusions, in their wounds, and in the giant play that we all externally participate in in this world. As I have talked about before, most books, teachers, gurus, and information out there is for the 90 percent (or so) of people who are in beginning stages.

As we go beyond this 90 percent, our experiences cause us to become isolated. We begin to have experiences that are so far off the cultural norm that they cannot be talked about. There are certain spiritual doors that begin to open that once gone through create understanding levels and experiences that are rarely talked about. This is because most people are still engaged in illusion, in control patterns, and in self-creation. Many spiritual experiences are beyond words as well. Anything beyond what is culturally accepted as consensual reality beyond a certain point (even in spiritual circles) is too scary for us to consider unless we have had the direct experience or are at a stage of being especially open and have worked through our traumas and control issues. But typically anything beyond this 90 percent point needs to be experienced to be believed. Anything beyond this point is too far off from consensual reality to be assimilated easily and there is a cognitive dissonance, meaning that people who have not experienced it themselves will not be able to process the information and will do anything to return to their current state of thinking to preserve safety, control, and their own cosmologies.

This very real experience of isolation is difficult. But it is important to know that even if you are not in the 90 percent who is in the beginner stage and are actually beginning to awaken out of the script, the plays, and the understandings of the dominant 90 percent that you have company. If you are in the 90-98 percentile (intermediate to beginning advanced for simplicity and clarity), or are even in the 90 percent but are beginning to question things and are ready to move on, there are still plenty of people in this category. They do not populate that chat rooms, they do not need to give advice, they have lost some of that seeker mentality and the incessant need to prove themselves so they are typically a bit more difficult to find. They know that their experiences are far off the cultural norm so they are frightened to talk or they keep their mouths shut to not be thought insane.

And there are also teachers in the 95-100 percent category. There are enlightened people throughout this world. You simply will not find them if you are not ready for them. Let me put this more simply. There is of little use for someone who is just beginning their spiritual journey to find works by Krishnamurti or Ramana Maharshi. They will first find Oprah, Andrew Weil, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Michael Harner and Alberto Villoldo, and then move on to Adyashanti and Mooji before they move on to Krishnamurti, Ramana Maharshi, Muktananda, Hazrat Inayat Khan, Gopi Krishna… and then they may move on to source materials from various biblical and spiritual texts before they lose the need for others and their teachings to influence their lives and be part of their cosmologies.

Real spiritual experiences are isolating. But for most of us we can find communities. Even if we are in the 99 percent, or even 100 percent, we can find someone of a different culture or relationship to the divine to teach us, to guide us, to be friends with us. When we are ready to open our belief systems, to move forward, to release in an authentic and true way that is when the appropriate teacher, book, or understanding will come our way to take us from 40 to 42 percent, or 99 to 100 percent, or even 100 to 0 percent. We just may find ourselves needing to share (or not share) with others who have not had the same experiences in a different way, in a way they may understand. We can have spiritual experiences that are isolating and take us far away from the cultural norm and simultaneously experience oneness, have friends and lovers and partners and family (even when they are part of the norm), go to yoga, PTA meetings, work, and the grocery store and find teachers and guides to help us understand and build skills to work with what we are experiencing. We just need to be open and ready to move on from where we are. We have to be okay with going beyond that 90 percent, beyond the chat rooms and the meetups and the spiritual communities and the books that are immersed and do not wish to divert from the cultural norms of “okay” spiritual experience and the surface levels of external reality.

The Illusion of Positivity… or Becoming Real in a Society that is Not

In most modern spiritual communities, there is the thought of remaining positive. At surface glance, this idea is wonderful. The world is full of negativity and chaos and we really could use positivity. We really need the cute puppy, kitty, and various animal videos online because they bring us into a state of positivity, of safe love, and take us away from the rest of the internet which is typically a bunch of arguing, politics, shootings, and various negativity.

I am all for positivity. I am all for gratitude. I think the world would be a much more wonderful place if we were all grateful for the things we have rather than focusing on what we have not… on seeing the good of the world and each other rather than focusing on the negativity and chaos that are so dominant in our world.

But I am for true positivity, true gratitude. Realness. It is well understood that we put on masks to cope with the world, to cover who we truly are. Most of the people that I see that are espousing this spiritual belief that “everything must be positive”… or light, or that we should not focus on the chaos and negativity of the world are quite negative themselves. The person with the most positive memes, the fakest cheeriest smile is typically the one that under the surface you can see the chaos, trauma, and negativity brewing.

I understand and have compassion for the fact that this is how people need to survive. That we are all doing what we generally think is the best we can do in this world. But in general the people who are constantly preaching about positivity, about love, about the oneness state and how it is bliss are not feeling those states themselves. And this fuels the jealousy, negativity, and “shadow” of people who witness them acting and speaking this way- others think that their lives are perfect, and blissful, and full of oneness and connectedness to all humanity. So this adds to the cultural illusion, the shadow. And any time we deny ourselves, what we are experiencing, what we are feeling it adds to the personal and collective shadow. 

So we have a situation in which someone is acting really positive but they are actually quite lonely, or chaotic, or even suicidal. They are denying themselves. That energy that they are covering not only festers underneath the surface of the individuals’ lives, but since it is not attended to it enters the cultural shadow at large. The jealousy, thoughts, and anger that the person who witnesses these people and do not understand that it is all an act also adds to this cultural shadow because it is a large energy that is also not directed at the right place (anger and especially jealousy point to our own trauma and desire for a different life).

These unattended emotions and self-denials create a cultural cloud, a cultural shadow. Individually we are creating our own little realities- our own belief systems, our own understandings of the world. But as communities, states, cultures, and even the world we are creating our communities, states, cultures, and the world. We are dreaming ourselves into existence. And right now we have a bunch of people creating huge cultural shadows out of not attending to their negativity, their chaos, their trauma. Our wars inside ourselves create our wars outside of ourselves. As an individual we do not create a war… but many individuals not attending to themselves and their true emotions and developing compassion and embodiment for themselves and others do.

One of the things I encourage people to do most is to be real. To know how they are feeling and attend to it. If we are angry, we should be angry. If we are happy, we should be happy. If we are constantly angry at every little things in our lives we should get help for it through bodywork, counseling, or meditation. We should attend to ourselves. We should not vilify any emotion, experience, or thought that we are having. By doing this we can not only have a clearer, dare I say more positive experience on this earth, we can also do our small part for releasing our unattended thoughts, emotions, and experiences influencing the collective energies of the community/state/society/world. We cannot do this with wearing masks, even if they are masks of positivity, “light”, “love”, wisdom, or anything else we would pretend to be. Once we finally are instead of pretending to be something we wish we were, we can become real in a society that is not, in a cultural narrative that is not, in a world that is not. We can free ourselves from all of the restrictions we have created for ourselves, and that our communities, genders, culture, society, and the world has created for us.

The Energetics of Facebook Part Three: Groups

For parts one and two of this series, click here (for the basic energetics of Facebook) and here (for a look at Facebook “gurus”)

Beyond interacting individually on Facebook with friends and associates it is also (obviously) common for most of us to join one or more groups. So let us look at the common dynamics and archetypes of the group members, which can reveal what the overall energetics of groups on Facebook are like:

Common Archetypes and Energies in Facebook Groups:

1. The Guru– you can look at Part Two for a more detailed explanation of this, but in groups the “Guru” tends to act a bit differently. In group dynamics the Guru will be considered a leader or teacher of the group. They will amass followers who like or automatically exclaim about whatever they say, no matter what it is. The Guru will put on a mask for the purposes of the group – acting loving, caring, and knowing all– when individually or under the surface it is obvious that they are typically suffering (due in part to the facade they maintain of being this loving, caring, knowing all person when they could often use help or assistance themselves).

Unfortunately the mask that the Guru wears is not real in these groups, and so the Guru cannot offer anything of themselves beyond platitudes, memes, and the mimicking of words of others and what they believe a Guru should be or act like. In watching these Gurus notice that they never ask for help, or advice… and they never really offer anything of themselves. You never get to know them, because if you did you would notice or begin to think about why this “Guru” is online and on Facebook 24/7 always ready to answer questions or chat with their followers at a moments notice. You would see that they need to be seen as a Guru because they are lonely and typically have poor self-worth and self-esteem. Instead of doing personal work or looking at their own issues the Guru is always ready with an Eckhart Tolle quote, or advice for others, when they should be looking at their own lives and why they need to be seen as a Guru… and what would happen if they dropped the facade of enlightenment, of knowing everything, and simply asked for help and showed that they were not perfect, and their lives were not perfect.

2. The Monarch- this is typically a group founder. They typically have control issues as well as sometimes have mental health issues. This means that they (yet again) will be online and on Facebook 24/7 (I am still curious why nobody question taking advice from people who are on Facebook literally all day and night) because they have to “rule” their group. The group members will typically be people very new to the path or knowledge that the Monarch provides, so they appreciate the Monarch, and are not at the point where they can see or sense that the Monarch is actively cording and taking energy from their members.

The Monarch (like the people in the next category, The Point B’ers), will have just enough information to satisfy newbies– or people desperate for information and guidance who are new to the path that is the focus of the group. The group members will never realize that the Monarch is still at the surface level of understanding (just at Point “B” instead of Point “A” with it) and that they have plenty of their own issues that they should be focused on instead of “ruling” a group. The Monarch needs control over the group, and any member who offers guidance (no matter how wonderful it may be), knowledge, or subtly interferes with the perception that the Monarch “knows all” will be viciously attacked, banned, or kicked out of the group by the Monarch. The Monarch may be quite mentally ill (I have no issues with mental illness, but there is a control factor here that shows a certain amount of mental imbalance) and will hyper-react to any perceived threat to their monarchy, often taking their group as seriously as they would a full time job, and will substitute having an actual, external existence (like going out with friends or to a yoga class or whatever) for the “reality” of their group.

3. The Point B’er– groups are filled with Point B’ers. These are the people who are no longer technically newbies. This means that they may have been studying whatever the group is about for a few months, or a few years… or may have just read a Wikipedia entry on the subject. They then offer their vast expertise to the group members, much of which may be misguided or simply wrong. The Point B’ers answer many questions in the group to prove their authority and expertise. There is often an air of desperation with the Point B’er in that they will point out their lineage, their studies, and their qualifications to prove themselves. The newbies will often delight in their expertise, not understanding that the person who is giving them “expert” advice is just a few steps down the same path they are on. In some ways the Point B’ers are necessary in groups… there are not enough of the Sages (the next category) who have the interest in the very basic questions that Newbies will ask, and they do not need to be seen as an authority… they already are.

Most of the questions in groups are from Newbies (a category below), but many are from Point B’ers, who are then offered advice, guidance, and cautions from other Point B’ers and the occasional Sage (group below). The Point B’er will sense that they have perhaps upset being seen as an “authority” in the group and will get angry at the advice givers… even if they have been given wonderful and appropriate advice. Most of the arguments in groups are from Point B’ers, who know enough about a subject (even if they just read one book or even a Wikipedia page) to think that they know what they are talking about. The Point B’er will then argue with anyone. I have personally seen Point B’ers argue with elders who have been walking a path for forty years, as well as argue with people who literally wrote the book on the subject in group dynamics. The Point B’er will insist that they are right, may delete their question, and will retreat for a few days until they return as an “authority” in the group.

The Point B’er will also often post what they view their unique, individual, “deep” musings and thoughts to groups, not realizing that many of the group members, even other Point B’ers, have gone way past that understanding and/or realization stage. This will be the type to post memes with their names on them (that they have made themselves) and do individual and frequent posts to groups of their thoughts, much of which is of a very surface understanding (but may be deep for the individual Point B’er).

4. The Sage- there are always a few Sages in every group. The wise souls, the people who have been pursuing a path for decades, the actual Shamans in the Shamanic groups, the practicing Rootworkers in the Hoodoo groups, the practicing (not just intellectual or armchair) Occult Workers, Herbalists, Reiki and Energy Workers. These people typically join groups because of sheer interest and the opportunity to meet fellow Sages… to learn information that they did not know. This information that they are looking for is likely 1% or less of the group dynamics, because they are not interested in the newbies, the Point B’ers, or the arguing and drama that most groups have. These people will engage when they are actually interested in something, or if someone asks an intelligent question (yes, even if they are a newbie). They do not have time to engage in drama, or politics, but will sometimes engage in the group more when they are bored or procrastinating. They do not have to prove themselves and they have a natural energy of confidence and authority that only the most brazen and offensive newbie or Point B’er will try to engage or take down.

5. The Newbie– most groups are filled with Newbies. They are the people who ask for a definition of the basics on what the group is about, for books to read, for spells or rituals to do. We have all been Newbies at some point (and if you are a Sage I highly suggest joining and being part of a different path as a Newbie). The Newbies will ask most of the questions of the group, seek the most help, and will lovingly and willingly seek guidance from the Point B’ers. Most of the arguments on Facebook are between Newbie and Point B’ers (or between Newbies or between Point B’ers). The Newbie will put themselves out there for guidance in a group and will find the other Newbies and Point B’ers engaging in trivial discussions, dramatizing the question or questioning the motives of the questioner, and so forth. The Newbie, depending on personality, will then retreat or engage in the dynamics of the discussion – either defending themselves or loudly proclaiming that the group is horrible and that they are going to leave.

Most of the groups on Facebook are 95-99 percent Newbie and Point B’ers. They create and engage in most of the drama in Facebook groups, and lead to discussions and advice that would make any Sage shake their head. Be careful with the advice that is given on Facebook- it is most of this dynamic, which is a “blind leading the blind” type of dynamic. If you are truly looking for advice or guidance, be sincere and thoughtful, and maybe a Sage will answer. Most of the other information in groups is all very surface level understandings, Point B’ers getting angry about not being seen as an authority, and Newbies being upset that their question has led to chaos.

6. The Dramatic– every group has a Dramatic (or two). This is the person that is quite imbalanced and has a great deal of chaos and trauma in their lives that they should be working out with an experienced professional of some sort. They will come into the group and reveal very personal information about themselves and their lives for attention and sympathy. They then will get this sympathy, at least the first 5-10 ten times. When the Dramatic is offered advice or guidance it is never taken, and the Dramatic will come back to the group time and time again, month after month, in the same predicaments, and with the same level of drama and chaos in their lives. Although it is easy to feel sympathy or even pity for the Dramatic, it is best not to engage with them unless they are threatening suicide or self-harming behavior, in which case they should be told of hotlines or other resources to assist them.

So there are the basic archetypes in groups. There are several not discussed that are more moderate in nature, but most of the chaos comes from the dynamics of these personalities. If you have read Part One of this series you understand that even if we do not fit in one of these archetypes that we tend to engage from a disembodied sort of place where our personal unprocessed traumas can easily engage… so we can (even as reasonable people) find ourselves arguing with a 17 year old Point B’er from half a world away online even though we never would consider doing that in person. Facebook is a tricky place, and it is a place that we can find all of our unprocessed trauma, our “shadows”, and our buttons being pushed. It is a good test of sorts. But mainly Facebook is a huge amount of information that is often meaningless or simply wrong/bad advice. In groups it can be worth it looking for the Sage and their thoughts, but frequently they are pretty quiet in groups, and it is a bunch of people who need energy from one another, to feel better about themselves, to satisfy a need for control or authority, or to ease the effects of loneliness or personal wounding patterns. It is always a question that all of us should have of interacting online of how much of the information we are receiving is valid, what reasoning the person has for providing this information, and if the people we are interacting with are such Gurus, Monarchs, and understanding of the totality cosmos why they are on Facebook all day to give us advice.

The Energetics of Facebook Part 2: Gurus

A few weeks ago I wrote Part One of this series (which you can access here) which went over the basic energies of Facebook and the typical Facebook user. Very basically, when we use technology we are living from the neck up, meaning that who we are vitally as people and who we then project or create an illusion of ourselves being on Facebook are two separate things. This disconnect also means that our “shadow” selves, meaning that the anger, bitterness, and general animosity that is pervasive in so many of our lives, and that we choose to ignore or not deal with, comes out full force because it does not have the typical filters that come with the physical form.

Some of the most interesting dynamics I have encountered are by Facebook “gurus”– people who have designated themselves as spiritual teachers, some with a fairly large following.

It is a natural progression on any path, spiritual or not, to become a teacher or mentor at some point to others. Specifically spiritual teachers have typically had a great deal of trauma, pain, and imbalances in their lives. These issues and traumas have taught us a great deal, made us more sensitive, and allowed for us to really hold space and understand where others who have been traumatized similarly, are coming from.

This is actually in its natural state a beautiful process. The teacher or “spiritual” sort works through their trauma, lets go of identification with it, the chaotic energy behind it, and the belief systems that have been created by it, and so can recognize and help others work through that same, or similar states. When you are able to recognize and work with a teacher or healer who has walked the path of the “wounded healer” and has come out the other side there can be very deep and transformative work that happens. They are able to hold space, or witness, your transformation without agenda and without inserting themselves or their issues into the equation.

But this rarely happens, especially with Facebook “gurus”. Most of the Facebook gurus I see are still actively living out their traumas and subsequent belief systems that have been created by them. They are still in a place of creating drama or are putting on a mask of being “enlightened” while at the same time participating in and creating drama and chaos. Trauma is chaos. When someone is still engaged with it their life will be chaotic and they will willingly participate in chaos.Their followers will on some level understand this and be drawn to this Guru because they wish to participate in the chaotic and often negative energies that this person provides time and again. This is not to say that shit doesn’t happen in all of our lives, even if we are not trapped in a cycle of chaos. But our reactions are different when we have risen above and walked through our traumas. We no longer are part of the energies of the chaos and can witness them rather than amplifying them. We are in a place of quiet examination rather than negativity, emotion, and chaos (yes, I am using that word a lot, because it is how the energy of trauma presents).

So the Facebook guru posts endless facts about what abuse they have suffered, how their lives have been awful, along with pictures of themselves and quotes from themselves in an attempt to gain attention and to satisfy their need for energy from their followers to alleviate their own trauma energy. Again, I am not saying that someone should not post pictures of themselves, or that the sharing of their lives is somehow wrong. But the endless stream of narcissistic pictures, quotes and memes with their names at the bottom that they have created, and the endless loop of reveals about the abuse, trauma, and darkness (from an emotional and not a quiet reflective place made to assist others through that some process instead of satisfying their own energy that comes with revealing something like that) that they have endured shows that they are still fully engaged in their own issues. This means that they do not really have space in their lives to help others, are not really in a place to teach, and is also engaging a dynamic in which they are essentially energy vampires, needing energy and attention from their followers. The posts are about them, basically, and their needs. For energy, for attention, for chaos, for drama. A Spiritual Teacher should be at the point to help you walk through your own personal hell– not to introduce you to the flames of theirs.

Let me explain this last part because it is important. When you are friends with someone it is supposed to be an equal exchange of energy (it rarely is, but let us pretend). When someone is a spiritual teacher they are supposed to be far enough away from their own stuff that they can provide insight and allow space so that their students can transform without the teacher needing anything from them. This is a big deal. Most spiritual teachers I see on Facebook are actively engaged in cording and taking energy from their students and followers. They are still deeply engaged in trauma patterns which create a need and craving for attention. This creates a loop in which the teacher is not feeling well and will begin to post flattering pictures of themselves to get compliments or horror stories in which they reveal their past to get responses. Some spiritual teachers will also engage in arguments or create chaos within their followers for the purpose of feeding on energy as well.

Although this sounds a bit harsh, it is simply what happens. There are wonderful spiritual teachers out there who are far away enough from their own issues that they can hold space for your own… without any agenda on their part. There are wonderful spiritual teachers out there who have been to hell and back, or survived things that would make most people traumatized for their entire lifetimes and have seen the other side and have worked through the trauma so it no longer has no resonance. Most of the “Spiritual Teachers” out there, however are not of this ilk. They are actively feeding on the energy of their followers because they are traumatized and have not worked through that trauma. Many of them do this unconsciously, posting pictures and quotes and creating drama and chaos and negativity without realizing that they are doing it to feed on the energy of their followers. Many spiritual teachers do not realize that their students or followers are a reflection of themselves– and if there is a great deal of discord, animosity, anger, and issues within their students that the dynamics of their “group” is a direct reflection of their own emotional state and issues they have not yet worked through.

However, some teachers do this very actively and with purpose. This is somewhat rare, but a few teachers out there (this is rare for the Facebook guru, but it happens) will specifically cord and create energetic structures (and all sorts of complex contracts and weird alliances we will not discuss here) for the explicit purpose of draining energy from their students in order to receive power. It is rare that the “Facebook guru” knows how to do this– most of them have very, very little power, or concept or connection to their own power, otherwise they wouldn’t need to feed and create issues like they do.  But it is worth a mention because it is out there. I do work with this… so if you have participated with a group, guru, or school/organization that you feel weird about, or like your energy was taken (or still is being taken), you can contact me and we can release any ties you have to them.

In Part Three of The Energetics of Facebook I will examine group dynamics. Stay tuned, and thanks for reading!

The Energetics of the Neck, Throat, and Cervical Spine

I am in a bit of recovery mode after taking an intensive Biodynamic CranioSacral Therapy course this past weekend. Many of my friends, clients, and so forth know that I am a Diplomate of CranioSacral Therapy through the Upledger Institute, which is the highest degree of certification offered, and have been a CranioSacral Therapist for about 12 years now doing Upledger-style Cranial work.

For the past few years I have become extremely interested in Polarity Therapy, which merges Vedic understandings of the Energetic Anatomy of the body with understandings similar to CranioSacral Therapy and other Energetic Anatomy systems which talk about how the energies of the body form to create matter/physical structure and how we are constantly in flux vibrationally and energetically… going from negative to neutral to positive polarities and constantly contracting and expanding. This understanding very much goes along with my Chinese Medicine background and understandings, which talk about how the elements create the contractions and expansion states that we are constantly undergoing and that determine our state of health or imbalance, our thought processes, and what organs or elements we may have core issues with.

I realize that the last paragraph was likely a little dense, but for simplicity sake let me just say that for the past few years I have been taking courses to become a Biodynamic CranioSacral Therapist. This work differs from “Upledger”-style CranioSacral therapy in many ways, one of them in that it talks quite a bit about our energetic blueprints (meaning the energies that go into us being formed), how we interact with universal, “God” flows of energy, and the fact that our body constantly has rhythms and waves that can be felt and understood to come to a place of stillness, and more importantly, to release trauma from the body.

This weekend was a course in working with the spine as a whole but particularly the cervical spine (your neck), the occiput and structures associated with it (the back of your head) as well as some of the anterior neck/throat structures.

As someone who has had varying amounts of neck pain due to very physical reasons (car accident) as well as more energetic/spiritual reasons (Kundalini hitting my throat chakra and attempting to clear out a huge amount of stuff as well as Top-Down energies coming through my crown through massive waves and being too massive to make it past my throat at times to be incorporated properly) the neck has been an interest of mine for quite some time. It is also true that many of my patients, clients, friends, family, etc. have a lot of neck pain. It is incredibly common.

We all know that there are very physical reasons for neck pain. We look at the TV from an odd angle, we have a desk that doesn’t support our spine, we get in car accidents, our pelvis is out of line which screws up our whole body. There are also physiological reasons, mainly our thyroid being unhappy, or our Liver/Gallbladder system transmitting pain up into our shoulders. There are also basic energetic surface reasons for our neck being out of sorts… the biggest being that our throat chakra/communication center is not releasing properly. Basically that we are not speaking our truth, and do not have an outlet for things like creativity or our own unique individual expression in this world. This is obviously a big deal, or can be, for a lot of people, and is talked about quite a bit in many books on chakras and energy work.

But if we go beyond the surface reasons for our neck pain, throat issues, or discomfort, there are other reasons for constriction in this area.

The first and most significant is birth trauma. When you were being born it is likely something happened to your neck. It got twisted, you got pulled out by forceps or vacuumed out, or maybe you were in utero or came through C-section at a uncomfortable angle. When we have any sort of trauma we need to process it. When we are that young we are unable to, and the primary force (being pulled or yanked out of your mother, for example) can be a huge trauma for us… and our necks. I have done in-utero and birth processing before, but this weekend every single class member through focused gentle attention (without any sort of agenda) at some point released birth trauma from their neck. And in doing so released a minor or significant amount of long-standing neck pain that they had experienced.

The second reason is that we are a “thinky” culture. This means that we are so wrapped up in our heads, in thinking, in intellectualism (well, some of us), or in the type of new-age “spirituality is up there I can’t think of anything negative let me open my third eye and crown and focus on angels” type of spirituality that it is rare that any of us are embodied. We have a lot of energies in our head, basically, and are disconnected from the rest of our bodies. The neck connects our head to our heart, it is a gateway to who we vitally are as people and embodiment in our physical beings. Most people have so much trauma or have made a conscious choice to not be embodied, which equals neck pain, headaches, and other issues like mental illness or delusional type understandings of the world I won’t go into right now.

The third reason is that the back of the neck is an important energetic gateway. There are a few major energy gateways in the body known as “spirit doors”. The back of the neck is one of the largest. This means that if you are in the least bit sensitive that information, energies, spirits, thoughtforms, beings (you get the drift) are coming at you to be processed through this doorway. This means that for most of us who are unskilled (basically meaning sensitive or having psychic capabilities but are untrained), this area is congested.

The fourth reason is that we are out of line with what we know we should be doing on this Earth. This means that we have lots of thoughts and societal conditioning that tell us that we should get normal jobs, have a normal life, that we need to make a certain amount of money and need to be doing certain things with our lives. The societal grids, or energies, are stored in our throat chakra. When we are doing things to get by when we know as a vital human being that we should be on another path, or doing something else with our lives, our heads get out of line with the rest of our body. Our neck twists and turns the further we get away from the awakened understanding of who we are and what we should be doing with ourselves, if only we were free from what society tells us we need to do.

The last reason is that this is one of the areas that is most energetically surface in the body. In the Chinese Medical system, this area is one of the areas that has the most surface channels in the body. This means that it is susceptible to things like wind (for example) going directly from the surface/ skin level to the channel systems (energetic pathways that are typically a bit deeper in the body). We instinctively protect this area, even without this knowledge, because we know subconsciously that this area is somewhat delicate and is not only a “spirit door” but also a place where things like cold, illness, and other environmental factors that can throw us of balance take hold.

There are other reasons for neck pain, and again, I am not ignoring the physical here. When we look at any disease, any area of the body, it is important to understand not only the spiritual factors, the energies, the mental/thoughtforms, but also the physical/physiological, and emotional reasoning behind an imbalance. Although it can certainly be a sort of “missing link” to understand the spiritual and energetic factors of something like neck pain, mainly because it is not discussed or really treated in our culture unless you are fortunate enough to have done enough research to find a really well trained CranioSacral therapist, Acupuncturist, Spiritual Healer etc (and many practitioners are barely trained out there, sad but true).

If you are experiencing neck pain, and have tried other methods (or even if you haven’t, but it is typical that most of us have long standing neck pain after visiting doctors, physical therapists, chiropractors, and the like) I encourage you to find a CranioSacral therapist who has been well trained (meaning has taken Advanced Coursework/the Advanced Class through the Upledger Institute and is preferably certified through them, or has taken a 3-4 year Biodynamic CranioSacral training- you will see the initials RCST or BCST after their names). I would not really recommend any other Cranial practitioners or training institutes except for practitioners who have completed the Visionary program through the Milne Institute, which is also a three year program, or “old school” Osteopaths that are are interested in cranial work (as opposed to being an allopathic-type physician) and do not scoff at the words “energy” or “spiritual”. Ask your potential practitioner if they can consider the energetic and spiritual elements- such as Birth trauma, of your neck issues, how long they have been practicing, and if they are certified, advanced, and have been so through one of the above licensed bodies. I am so adamant about this because of the amount of “weekend warriors” who have taken a class or two and say they do CranioSacral therapy, or the amount of “teachers” out there who have taken a few classes and then decided to teach lengthy programs and “certify” people without being certified themselves. CranioSacral Therapy is an art, and it can be a profound place of healing on a level that very few modalities can touch if you can get a practitioner who is truly passionate, knowledgable, and has had good teachers on the subject. Although a basic practitioner or one who has been poorly trained or “certified” through a teacher who may or may not be certified themselves can certainly help a bit with some of the basic physical and surface emotional energies, a well-trained practitioner can consider and hold space for the type of deep transformation and resolution that the neck often requires.