Monthly Archives: December 2014

The Holidays… and Creating your own Reality

For many of us the holiday season can be difficult. For some of us it can be downright dangerous- holidays bring up old wounds, depression, mood issues, and even suicidal tendencies. The holidays can be a struggle to get through- we look online and see examples of the best of the holiday season. No matter who we are (even if we are the people in the pictures) our lives are rarely perfect. This is amplified during times when we are force-fed the idea of perfection, of what a perfect family meal should look like, what presents to get, and what should be done and with whom the day of Christmas.

It has been a long road for many of us to take any sort of personal responsibility for our lives. To consciously work with the patterns that have been handed down to us by parents, by ancestors, by society. But many of us have taken the idea of being accountable too far. We have constructed this idea that we must be responsible for everything in our lives. In fact, the thought is that we create everything in our lives and everything that surrounds us- every event, every person, is a disassociated aspect of ourselves. If we were only to love ourselves, to learn our lessons, to heal our wounds our lives would be wonderful. Every person we meet, every event, everything in our lives would be bliss. And if it isn’t it is our fault.

Can we think for a moment about how narcissistic this is? That the whole world is about us? That the whole world stems from us? That if our lives are not bliss it is somehow our fault?

This thought, like so many in the new-age community, is simply false. It is thought to be understood and then ventured forward from. Because if you remain at this level of thinking you start to think that your friend who was just sexually assaulted was somehow asking the universe for it, that the people who are starving simply have “poverty consciousness” and if we come from a family of narcissists, selfish sorts, have a family member with mental illness, cancer, AIDS, or simply dislike a relative for past behavior or attitude that we have something to heal within our selves.

This may be true. We may need to look at a situation and heal its charge. We can look at family and realize who they are fully- even if they are truly awful people- without any sort of animosity or wounding patterns coming up to heal. We can realize who they are, act appropriately, and move on with our existences. But simply because we heal it doesn’t mean that they will. They may get a bit better, you might not react to them like you once did… all of this certainly happens. But everyone is not an extension of you. Simply because you are whole doesn’t mean everyone else around you is.

So my point of this blog is… IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. I see so many people offering “helpful” advice about dealing with family members on a spiritual level. There is much to be healed at a family level, at a deeper ancestral level as well. But sometimes the most healing thing is to realize fully who a family member or relative is, make your peace with that, let go of emotional charge of the past and any lingering trauma from what they may have done to you, and realize that whatever they do and whoever they are IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Quite simply, you are responsible for you. You cannot control other people. You cannot maintain personal responsibility for anyone other than yourself. We may learn from trauma, from difficult events, from family members and relatives. But we do not control anything- even many of the events in our own lives. What we can do is take responsibility for healing ourselves, for healing our pasts, and coming to a peaceful, content (and dare I say) blissful present for doing so. We can ensure our own safety, our own boundaries, and our own wholeness. We can love those who love us back, and be more present for those we love. We can be at peace with who we are and our own version of the holidays, whatever they might be.

Whoever you are and wherever you are, I know that seeing all of the illusion of perfection this holiday season can be difficult to take. Take care of yourself, and know that much of what you are seeing is an illusion. It simply is not real. Most of the perfect family photos, trees, presents, and more are being put on display for a reason. Be thankful for what you have and those around you that truly care. Take care of yourself- if there is nobody around you that truly cares you can be the person that cares for you. Get through the season intact, and allow yourself some peace during this time of year.

Spiritual Awakening and Eating Meat

There is a pervasive myth in the “awakening” community that in order to become awake, enlightened (or insert word here) that it is essential to not eat any sort of meat. Many in this community take it a step further and publicly denounce others who eat meat, judging them as being barbaric if they are not a raw vegan.

This is a belief that can be transcended to allow for greater awakening. What does this mean? When we hold onto any belief tightly, no matter how “right” we believe we are, and judge others for not following our path and choices we are creating a cage for ourselves out of that belief. We are imprisoning ourselves. When we hold a belief to this extent we are in a state of cognitive dissonance, meaning that any evidence that does not support your claims (that you can be awakened and eat meat, or that the amount of judgement that comes with the belief that you must not eat meat and the superiority complex that comes with it may actually be more harmful to you energetically than eating meat) is not processed or even heard.

This is one of the biggest illusions in the awakening/spiritual community. Dietary changes are necessary when awakening. Foods with chemicals, heavy foods, eating a great amount at one time, eating for emotional and spiritual purposes, and eating meat may all have to be deeply considered by the individual. Those of us going through Kundalini or other intense spiritual awakenings may find ourselves unable to eat anything, or very much beyond simple foods like rice. Many of us going through awakenings may find ourselves questioning the portion size (of the American diet in particular) and our go-to foods in times of stress. Others may find themselves ravenously hungry for meats, breads, cheeses, sweets and other heavy foods to anchor ourselves, for energy, or as a coping mechanism for the trauma that is created by awakening.

Many of us may be unable to eat meat, or will make more conscious meat choices. For some of us this may extend to being unable to process anything that comes from animals. Many of us may find that we cannot process endogenous hormones and have to buy grass-fed or local animal products. Many of us may find that we desire less meat and eat it much less regularly.

But these are all individual choices. They are based on what our body can process, not our belief system. There is a difference. I would love to eat chocolate every day. I have a sweet tooth that is legendary. As I began awakening I noticed that I craved more sweets to self-soothe. It was a long-standing belief structure and psychological mechanism to anesthetize myself. As I awakened further my body no longer processed sweets. I could no longer eat ice cream, then as much chocolate, and sweets overall started tasting too sweet for me. Then I began examining the psychological mechanisms that created the belief structure that sweets were helpful for specific emotions. When I was ready my body slowly cut down on the amount of sweets that I craved and felt I needed. I still enjoy sweets- just not to the extent and not for the same reasons I once did.

Belief systems work differently in this regard. If we have ethical issues with eating meat, that is understandable. But typically in the awakening process it is not an ethical issue but an inability to process the energy or vibration of the material coming into our bodies that is the issue. And if we harbor hate, violence, and animosity towards anyone else for their food choices, or maintain a superiority complex about our food choices, that quite simply is not an awakened state. It is certainly true that many “awakened” individuals may not eat meat. But it is not an imprisoning belief, and generally it is understood that people are where they are in their lives (even if it is at a McDonald’s).

The belief that one cannot or should not eat meat is a belief that should be looked at and transcended like any other. Once you have transcended this belief you can understand that everything is vitally alive- everything has spirit. Every animal, vegetable, plant, even the air we breathe has spirit. If we are still in a place of looking down at others, judging them for their choices regarding meat (or anything else) we will remain static in our belief systems. We will not progress any further. At some level we will understand that we are blocked and will develop animosity towards others as a reflection of our own stuckness. When we do what is right for us and understand that people are where they are on their journey we can transcend. When we lose that sense of superiority that our choices are “right” and everyone else is “wrong” we can open ourselves up to new knowledge and understandings that may be further of the path we are on or an entirely new path altogether. When we stop branding ourselves as being a certain way (vegan, vegetarian, raw) we can stop holding that belief so tightly that creates further illusions and separation so we can actually awaken.

So I invite you to look at your individual beliefs. Look at how you have labeled yourself. As an individual understand how specific foods, like meat affect you. Ask your body how they affect you. Notice how you feel after you eat them. Let go of the illusions of the “awakening” community, the superiority complexes, the labels, the memes, whatever illusions food companies and society (even spiritual communities) want for us. Awakening is an individual path. Be thankful for the food you take in. Give thanks for it. Allow for yourself to stop being imprisoned by food, by diet, and notice the pure, sensual, experience of it. A grape can be bliss if we allow it.