Monthly Archives: March 2014

Spiritual Advice: Not connecting to the Earth and Feeling Death and Dead People

Date: March 20, 2014

Author: maryshutan

Categories: Mediumship, Psychopomp, shamanism, Spiritual Advice column

Hi Mary,

I have always felt like I am not a complete person, like I wasn’t connected to myself. My soul or my spirit is not one with my body. It’s been like a part of me, and frequently I have thought my soul, is trying to pull me or is called elsewhere. Whether on this Earth or beyond that.

Also, this feeling coincides with when I get these other feelings of something or someone unseen approaching. Usually it’s a heavy, dark and mysterious feeling. I always feel that something is about to happen but I can’t figure out who or what it will be. I just know by how strong the feeling is if it will be someone close in my family. The stronger the feeling, the closer to me they are, and it is usually a death. Now, I just say that I feel death. The feeling normally doesn’t fade until the event happens.

I feel that this year I have become more sensitive to both feelings I have described to you. I can now feel it for people I have never met, but live in my area. Here is an example of a recent experience. One night, I was sitting around the living room as my mom cooked in the kitchen. While I was checking my email the air suddenly became heavy, familiar, but also unfamiliar, however it didn’t feel ominous. It felt like someone was around. I spoke out, more to myself, that someone was here and I asked to no one particular, “who are you?” I felt it more a person this time. The thought of my deceased granddad came to my mind I broke down crying. I could not stop. The feeling was so strong and overwhelming. I tried thinking if it could be something or someone else, but nothing seemed to be a better answer than it being my granddad. My thoughts came back to him and it touched my heart. It felt like an affirmation.

When I finally spoke to whomever it were, believing it to be my grandad, I smiled and told him that I was glad he was visiting but his presence was very strong. I nicely asked him to tone it down some and then the feeling began to subside. A few days after that visit my grandma was rushed to the hospital after having a heart attack. I have felt that he came to let us know something was about to happen. I tied everything together, but I’m unsure of what I may be feeling or going through. It’s a haunting feeling, but it’s beautiful also because I feel more than just the physical of this world. None of it bothers me, except that I don’t understand completely what it is and that maybe it could be just in my mind or really something more.

– Unsure

Unsure-

It sounds like you are a natural medium and psychopomp. A medium is someone that can see, feel, or sense that spirits or other beings or energies are around them. Typically, most people use the word medium to mean that you can see dead people. However, historically people who are natural mediums utilize any of the psychic senses (meaning that you can see, sense, hear, even taste while being a medium depending on your natural psychic tendencies) to communicate with the deceased. Your natural psychic tendencies means whatever psychic abilities are open- some mediums tend towards seeing spirits, others hear them, others simply feel changes in the environment. A student of mine can taste a difference in the air and smell certain spirits. Many mediums have more than one psychic ability that goes along with mediumship, or will naturally develop more abilities or stronger abilities if they work with their mediumship skills.

The other aspect of mediumship is that although it is traditionally thought of as speaking or communication with the dead (as in dead people), this is a popularized notion. Real mediums are often quite empathic, and can sense many different things in a room- from emotions to spirits to beings of all sorts. And yes, dead people. But also everything from medical information on the living to seeing portals and mountain spirits can be developed or utilized with the ability of mediumship.

Mediumship is typically generational- meaning that someone else in your family has it. They may not be willing to talk about it, but sometimes it can be comforting to know that this ability comes from somewhere. Mediumship is typically one of the strongest psychic abilities, and can be one of the most overwhelming. Natural mediumship comes with a certain sort of light, or vibration within you that allows spirits, beings, and other energies know that you have the capability to see or sense them. This will draw them to you (picture yourself as a big nightlight, basically).

With mediumship often comes psychopomp capabilities. A psychopomp is someone on this side (in human form) that can help facilitate transit of the dead. This is where all of the feelings of death come from for you- you know you are intended to work with them, to help souls pass over. Picture Ghost Whisperer, but less cheesy. Until you are able to develop boundaries and understand your experiences, you will likely be overwhelmed by mediumship and psychopomp abilities.You need to develop a certain skill set that will allow for you to learn how to take on these roles you have been given, and learn how to draw extremely firm boundaries so that you have control over how and through what means you choose to interact with what comes through to you. You need a spiritual bouncer and to connect with your spirit guide. If you have a family member who is open about being a medium or sensitive and seems stable with their abilities, you can always learn from them. Since it sounds like that may not be the case for you, I suggest looking for a physical teacher who can help you learn these tools.

As far as your other question regarding feeling not of this Earth, or pulled elsewhere, I would hazard a guess that it is because of your mediumship and psychopomp abilities. You feel pulled elsewhere because you are elsewhere. You have one foot in this world, in this reality, and one foot in another reality, or many other realities. In addition to finding a physical teacher who can help you with your psychic abilities, I would suggest connecting to the Earth and becoming as embodied as you can in this reality. Play outside, hug a tree, use your very human senses- see a good movie, a play, a concert, eat good food… connect with friends and family again. You are a physical being for a reason. Enjoy it.

– Mary

Interested in submitting to the Spiritual Advice column? Contact me here with the heading “Spiritual Advice”. Please note that I am not an allopathic physician or psychiatrist, and my advice is not intended as substitution for the advice of those professionals. I reserve the right to edit emails for clarity.

Ethics in Spiritual Healing, Reiki & Energy Work contd.

Date: March 17, 2014

Author: maryshutan

Categories: ethics, Spiritual Advice column

I have gotten some recent feedback for my last post on Ethics in Spiritual Healing, Reiki & Energy Work. Most of it positive, some negative, but a lot of interest in the concept of Ethics in this field. I have answered to the best of my abilities below some of the questions I have received.

What do you do if you see someone obviously in pain or suffering and want to give them Reiki?
What I do in this situation is ask their permission verbally. Often I do this simply and ask for their names, strike up a small conversation, and offer to either send them Reiki if they seem open to it, or ask if it is okay to send them your prayers. Although prayers and Reiki do have some differences, they are both guided energies, and people are generally more open to being on a prayer list.

What if I see something really bad, like cancer, in someone? Wouldn’t they want to know?
Generally I don’t advise walking around “reading” people- it is bad form. But if you are sensitive, clairvoyant, psychic, whatever, you will naturally notice things that most people don’t in others around you- diseases, patterns, thoughts, inner truths. First of all, what you need to understand is that you are viewing the universe through your perceptual lens- even if you are a powerful clairvoyant and you see the word CANCER in big bold neon lights above someone’s head it doesn’t mean that they actually have cancer. Also, why is it your job to tell them? Why you? What makes you important enough to walk around telling people what their truth is, what their lives are about, what their patterns are, how to fix them? Basically, the short answer to this question is don’t tell them. It is not your job, and chances are they wouldn’t take it well.

What if someone is in a coma or you can’t ask them but you want to help?
In the case of not being able to ask them verbally, you can ask their higher self. To do this, you need to make sure your ego is in check. I have had a few coma patients say no. You need to make absolutely sure that you are not doing this for any of your own reasons (ego, wanting to feel helpful, wanting to see what working with a coma patient is like, etc) before you proceed. If you are unable to do this, don’t do it.

I have people bring in their spouse/significant other/child for treatment. They say it is okay, but their higher self says “NO”
This is an interesting one. This has actually happened quite a bit to me- where a loving and Reiki or Shamanic Healing minded person has brought me their spouse, family member, friend for healing and they really don’t want to be there. They verbally say “yes” but when asking their higher self, the answer is clearly “NO!”. If this happens, and you do other work (like massage) you can offer to do that work instead. Otherwise I tell them simply that this work may not be right for them, and suggest a healing modality that would be better for them, and refer them out. I then typically offer to treat the person who sent them in the first place- because chances are they are more open and ready, and likely need some healing themselves if they are trying to corral a friend or loved one into an appointment with me. Plus, we have cords and all sorts of ties to our friends and loved ones, so if we are doing better, they are generally doing better also.

When I see a news report of something awful happening I want to help. How can I help if I am a Reiki practitioner?
If you are local in the area, the best thing you can do is often to be of physical assistance or financial assistance. Find out if there are groups going to the site where people who want healing can come for free. If you are not local, or are too sensitive to be “in the thick” of the situation, there are several things you can do:

• Volunteer or offer work to a charity or organization around you. Yes, it is not the “flavor of the month” disaster or what is currently being played on the news. But it gives you the opportunity to serve your fellow human, and to make the world a brighter, lovelier place.

• Work on yourself. There, I said it. The world is a reflection of us. If we work on ourselves, the whole world changes. What have you not healed? Who can you forgive? What can you let go of? Often we look outside of ourselves when the journey should be within. I know from my personal journey that the more I work on myself, the more my view of the world changes. The more you are healed, the less depression, desperation and emptiness come up when something horrible happens in the news.

• Send energy to the world as a whole. Some people have mixed feelings about this, but instead of picking a target, how about spreading the love around to everyone? Picture the entire globe, allow yourself to fill with light, and fill the globe with that light. It will go where it needs to.

How can I make sure my ego is not involved when I am doing Energy Work?
The ego is a tricky thing. As much as current New Age material tells us that destruction of the ego is what is needed, what is actually needed is a healthy, happy ego (hmmmm another blog post). A happy, healthy ego can tell us if we are doing something because of our stuff, or because of someone else. But since this is difficult, and a happy, healthy ego is a rare commodity it seems, you can set up a sort of fail-safe. You can do this by setting up with whatever sort of spiritual support you work with to block you in a specific way. I have set up a specific symbol that shows up when I am doing something that is not ethical or I may want to rethink, and then I stop. Other ways include a specific animal showing up, a sound, or another visual. One of my patients set up a smell. When you see/smell/hear this, you stop. This is obviously set up as a secondary measure, not a primary measure (meaning use the other methods first!)

Hope that answers all or most of your questions! Thanks for the feedback!

Ethics in Spiritual Healing, Reiki & Energy Work

Date: March 17, 2014

Author: maryshutan

Categories: ethics, holistic healing, Reiki, Spiritual Awakening

When I attended a workshop a few months ago, I sat next to a woman who took one look at me and told me rather rudely that my crystal was “dirty” and it needed cleaning, and how and with what I should do this. She then said “Sorry” without meaning it, and sat back in her seat. At first I was angry at her- this was before we had established any sort of rapport and we hadn’t done much besides for exchange names.

When I took a step back from the situation, I realized that she was simply angry and rude with the world- she was going through some difficult life experiences and I realized that she was someone who was feeling out of place at the workshop, and that she was attempting to establish some credibility amongst professionals who had much more experience than her.

And when I stepped back even further from the situation, it got me thinking about ethics in the field of Energy Work. This simply isn’t talked about much- it is left to courtesy and manners that people who are sensitive or trained in energy work don’t go around telling people what their issues are or how to fix them. As Energy Workers, we see so much, but as ethical energy workers, we are not supposed to work without permission or tell people what we see because they may not be ready to hear it, or may not want for others to notice.

I work with and have trained many Reiki practitioners. When a natural disaster happens, plenty of Reiki practitioners “send Reiki” to the site because they believe it to be helpful. Sometimes they do so to specific people they have seen on the news or to the entire area. But is sending Reiki to an individual that has not given permission ethical? If you are a powerful energy worker who can work with the concept of the higher self and ask their higher self, the answer is maybe. But since most of us have egos, sending energy to someone who has no knowledge of it and did not request it is not typically ethical.

And what of sending energy to that whole disaster site? Plenty of us were doing this for the tornadoes in Oklahoma, or the Boston bombings. Sending energy to those sites is a lovely concept, but what sort of energy are you sending? Are you sending in your fears? Your obsessive energy? Energy that is unstable or based off a sense of ego- you feel unsafe and want to do something about a situation that you have no control over? Sending Reiki or energy to these sites can be a good thing, if your energy is stable, clear, and you are able to understand when not to intervene if something larger and more spiritual is going on. During these situations though, I have seen time and again that many energy workers are cording themselves to the situation and become tethered to it- becoming obsessive, fearful, constantly feeling in their own body what is going on with the situation. They are then reflecting this energy back through the cord to a situation that does not need any more fear, chaos, or heightened energy.

The next time you “send Reiki” to a person or site, question your ethics, the energy you are sending, and whether you are doing so out of a sense of help or ego. Sending Reiki, reading someone, or working energetically can be a beautiful thing when it is done with permission (ideally in person, or if necessary through the higher self), and with a sense of calm, clear, powerful energy. But often this energy is sent out of feelings of loss- loss of control, uncertainty on a personal level, and is not helpful to the situation. Consider the next time you work energetically if your ethics are impeccable. If they are, proceed. If not, reconsider how you can help the situation or take some time to reflect.

I think I have Kundalini- what now?

Date: March 4, 2014

Author: maryshutan

Categories: Kundalini, Spiritual Advice column, Spiritual Awakening

© Olga Vasilkova | Dreamstime Stock Photos

Mary- I have been doing Ashtanga yoga for several years. It has completely healed my scoliosis issues and helped me through divorce and the death of my sister. Six months ago I started attended Kundalini yoga classes with my friends. I am used to feeling energy and have gotten my Reiki 1 and 2. A few months ago during class I had an experience and am not sure what happened though. I was in class and started feeling my body shaking and heat in my body. I felt my spine get all of this heat in it and started crying because I felt so much joy. Since this is anonymous I will say that I started feeling orgasms and hopefully nobody noticed that part at least. I also felt love for my friends, for the whole class, and really for everything. After that it was like everything went back to normal. I felt a bit shaky and like something big happened, though. I asked my teacher and she said it was a Kundalini awakening, but didn’t have anything else to say. Was she right? What do I do now? Where do I go from here?
– Yogigirl in Florida

Hi Yogigirl-
Thank you for such a clear description of what is going on with you. I get questions and reports about this sort of thing happening all the time, so your question is perfect and will certainly help many others who have had similar experiences.
A few things. Yes, what you were experiencing was Kundalini. There is a difference in the type of experiences and intensities that you can have when encountering Kundalini. In general, there are Kundalini stirrings, Kundalini experiences, and Kundalini awakenings. What you experienced was a Kundalini stirring.

So what is a Kundalini stirring? A Kundalini stirring is pretty close to what you experienced. It is an encounter with the Kundalini energy that typically lasts for a short period of time and is relatively mild in nature. It allows you to feel consciously your connection to the divine. It allows you to have greater understandings that were out of your current realm of experience- such as great amounts of love, feelings of interconnectedness, and realizations about your true nature (or who you might be if you didn’t have to deal with physical conditioned reality, day-to-day stuff, etc).

Kundalini stirrings also allow access to the strong current of energy that is Kundalini. The feeling of heat coming up the spine (although about 5 percent of people experience Kundalini as cold) is actually what Kundalini stirring describes. It is an energy that comes up the Du channel in Chinese Medicine. The Du channel is an extraordinary channel (one of the deepest reservoirs of energy in the body) which is one of the channels that has formed that body- physically, mentally, spiritually- on all levels. Kundalini energy typically stays fairly dormant at the end of the sacrum, and when it stirs, a wave of heat, bliss, orgasms, and deep insight occurs.

The experience of Kundalini stirring is typically pretty momentary- meaning that it happens once for a short period of time. That momentary experience can happen many times over the course of a lifetime, but if it does not go beyond the symptoms that I have described, or does not become a permanent and common occurrence in your life, it is technically not a Kundalini experience or a Kundalini awakening, although stirrings can be the first signs of Kundalini awakenings. A Kundalini stirring can be a life-changing experience and can deepen your spiritual understandings and your experience of this world from even momentary access to the energy of Kundalini.

So, yogigirl, it sounds like from your description that you experienced a classic Kundalini stirring. I would encourage you to gently keep on going on your path. You do not need to do anything. Let your experience of the energy guide you to be a more loving person who is closer to the nature that you experienced in that class. Kundalini is not something that should be forced or experimented with, and is best if awoken gradually and naturally so it does not lead to crisis. If you begin to experience more significant or permanent symptoms, you may be experiencing a Kundalini experience or a Kundalini awakening.

What is a Kundalini experience? A Kundalini experience in simple terms is a more intense experience of Kundalini. Like the stirring, it is typically momentary, although its implications for your life can be long-lasting. A Kundalini experience can happen as part of a Kundalini awakening, or can be a singular experience.

Let me explain. A Kundalini experience involves not only the “stirring” of Kundalini and a gentle snake-like rising out of slumber but a full body experience that is quite intense. There would be no hiding this experience. Shaking, crying, moving into full body postures (kriyas and mudras), extreme amounts of energy running through you, feeling of earth energies and the whole world, pain, drastic increases of psychic abilities, profound spiritual realizations, access to spiritual energies outside of the self, communion with God or other powerful beings, temporary blindness, and extreme overwhelm happen. All at the same time, typically.

A Kundalini experience is extremely overwhelming and can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few weeks (I once worked with someone who had been experiencing it for a month and a half with this intensity, but that is atypical). With this experience, you are not able to function or act normally to the world. Luckily, for most, this experience only lasts for minutes rather than hours.
This experience can be triggered by many things. The Kundalini experience can be a natural part of a Kundalini awakening, or can happen without a full Kundalini awakening. Typically, most people I have run into who experience a Kundalini experience without a full awakening have had it occur through energetic transmission from a powerful guru (shakti/attunement) or through attending an intense spiritual workshop, although I have heard of it from energetic transmission from a place as well (Mount Shasta, Victoria Falls, and Sedona area if I recall correctly).

Although I say that this experience is momentary, it has far-reaching implications for the rest of your life. Basically, you will never be the same after. The experience of such profound energy has changed you- your outlook, your beliefs, your understanding of the world. Since this energy has moved through you, it has quickly opened up channels and destroyed old beliefs, blocks, and baggage you have carried. It also suggests that you are likely to open to a full Kundalini awakening, or are beginning to experience one.

What is a Kundalini awakening? The main thing that differentiates the Kundalini awakening from the experience or stirring is the intensity and the permanence. I differentiate the experience and the awakening because of cases of Experience that have not resulted in Kundalini awakenings. A Kundalini awakening is permanent. It is not a momentary experience, or a few experiences.

Although many K awakened experience Kundalini experiences, the true Kundalini awakening is like a wave, constantly bringing up new material to process. It leads you deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole until it is a fully completed circuit and the Kundalini energy can run fully through you without resistance or blockages. There are less active stages of Kundalini, but it is always with you and can always be sensed. It does not go away. Many people report to me having a Kundalini awakening in 1978 and 1995 and then two days ago. These are stirrings or experiences of Kundalini, not an awakening.

So what are the main differences? A Kundalini stirring is a momentary access and ability to feel Kundalini energy. It is profound, but typically mild compared to other experiences, and you will typically be able to function (respond to others, still be a part of the world) while it is happening. In a Kundalini experience, there is the chance that it will be a profound experience likely to repeat a few times throughout the course of your life. It will likely change you dramatically. It may or may not lead to or be a part of a full Kundalini awakening. The Kundalini experience is more intense than the stirring. There is a loss of ability to function, a drastic increase in energy and body movements that are spontaneous and out of your control, and afterwords a drastic shift in worldview, beliefs and understandings will occur.
A Kundalini awakening is a permanent awakening of the energy. It acts like a wave- and can be as intense as a Kundalini experiences, or more dormant and gentle. It will work its way through your blockages and drastically change everything about you and your world. Kundalini experiences happen within Kundalini awakenings- the main differentiation is the permanence of the awakening. With a Kundalini awakening the change is permanent- the energy is always with you and always doing something. It is a permanent spiritual process that has been started and will never stop.

I hope that explains and differentiates the symptoms and experiences for those who have inquired. You can find more information in my books, including The Spiritual Awakening Guide.